Dick Cheney is being rushed to Cuba by Michael Moore (It's the watch Cheney uses to hypnotize him)

"Dick Cheney has had like 19 heart attacks and has a pacemaker. He needs a new pacemaker. I guess they wear out from time to time. So right now, Dick Cheney is being rushed to Cuba by Michael Moore." --David Letterman

"George Bush was in Albania and his watch was stolen. ... They have a description of the guy. They say the suspect is armed and punctual. It's not a laughing matter. Don't kid yourselves. It's an important watch. It's the one Cheney uses to hypnotize him." --David Letterman

"Here's some broadcasting ugliness. Dan Rather, who used to host the 'Evening News' here at CBS, said this about Katie Couric, who is now hosting the 'CBS Evening News.' Dan Rather said she is tarting up the news. Dan followed that comment by saying, 'Bring me another whiskey sour.'" --David Letterman

A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-

collected-poems-1985-2015.html

Wow, just like Dan Rather (Donald Scissorhands)

"The president of Iran, Mahmoud Ahma-nut job, has arrived in the United States. Did you know he was issued a visa to come here? Isn't that amazing? You need a visa to get into the United States now, when did they start with that? You know the interesting part? After he landed, he actually drove his own cab in from the airport." --Jay Leno

"My favorite part of his speech is when he said there are no homosexuals in Iran. That's what he said. Too bad, because they need somebody to choreograph those parades they have every week." --Jay Leno

 "According to a new report out of Cuba, Fidel Castro is near death, but is clinging to life and he is determined to outlive the Bush presidency. Wow, just like Dan Rather." --Jay Leno

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

shot in a duel over issues of honor and integrity (Mistaken for a bird)

"Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot a man during a quail hunt making 78-year-old Harry Whittington the first person shot by a sitting veep since Alexander Hamilton. Hamilton, of course, (was) shot in a duel with Aaron Burr over issues of honor, integrity and political maneuvering. Whittington? Mistaken for a bird." --Jon Stewart

"Now, this story certainly has its humorous aspects. But it also raises a serious issue, one which I feel very strongly about. Moms, dads, if you're watching right now, I can't emphasize this enough: Do not let your kids go on hunting trips with the vice president. I don't care what kind of lucrative contracts they're trying to land, or energy regulations they're trying to get lifted -- it's just not worth it." --Jon Stewart

"The Vice President is standing by his decision to shoot Harry Whittington. Now, according to the best intelligence available, there were quail hidden in the brush. Everyone believed at the time there were quail in the brush. And while the quail turned out to be a 78- year-old man, even knowing that today, Mr. Cheney insists he still would have shot Mr. Whittington in the face. He believes the world is a better place for his spreading buckshot throughout the entire region of Mr. Wittington's face." --Daily Show correspondent Rob Corddry

vows/forgery/Leno's problem/ask Maria Shriver

"Former President Bill Clinton said that if his wife, Hillary, is elected president, he will do whatever she wants. You know Bill Clinton -- when he makes a vow to Hillary, you can take that to the bank." --Jay Leno

"Today was Dan Rather's last day at CBS. He turned in his letter of resignation, which later turned out to be a forgery." --Jay Leno

"This is a little frightening. The White House says North Korea has missiles with the capability of being launched in North Korea and landing on the west coast of the United States. I was thinking about this and was like, 'Oh hell, that's Leno's problem.'" --David Letterman

"According to scientists one day we may have sex with robots. And if you want to know what that's like, just ask Maria Shriver."  --David Letterman

Bush got a little annoyed with everyone doing the Arnold impressions all the time

"President Bush was in Austria yesterday. You know, I think he's confused. He's not good on geography. On his way to Austria, he told Dick Cheney he'd bring him back a boomerang." --Jay Leno

"President Bush said he liked Austria, but he said he got a little annoyed with everyone doing the Arnold impressions all the time." --Jay Leno

"It's official. Yesterday was Dan Rather's last day at CBS. What a great couple of weeks for President Bush, huh? He got rid of al-Zarqawi and now Dan Rather. His two biggest enemies." --Jay Leno

In honor of his passing, former President Bill Clinton flew his pants at half mass (Miss Me Yet?)

"In Colorado, the president of Coors Beer, Pete Coors, who lost the race for U.S. Senate a while back, was arrested for drunk driving back in May. I can't believe he didn't win the Senate race. You get busted for drunk driving, you try to cover it up. He's obviously qualified to be senator." --Jay Leno

"Police in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, have arrested an 80-year-old man and charged him with selling crack. It's so sad to see what's happened to Dan Rather." --Jay Leno

"The man who founded the Hooters restaurant chain has passed away at the age of 69. In honor of his passing, former President Bill Clinton flew his pants at half mass." --Jay Leno