These six guys control maybe 20% of the world’s wealth and 100% of your nudes (open source Illuminati)

Donald Trump’s inauguration, was attended by such tech billionaire CEOs or founders as Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg, Jeff Bezos, Tim Cook and more. Basically, a plethora of bald billionaires who all seem to go to the same bio-hack life extension clinic and say, ‘Give me the Lex Luthor’. These six guys control maybe 20% of the world’s wealth and 100% of your nudes. —Jon Stewart

“Shouldn’t this gathering be happening in a volcano’s lair near Zurich? Or are we just open source Illuminati?” —Jon Stewart

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

And boy, are his knees tired (their version of Dry January)

Meta CEO and Puerto Rican gigolo Mark Zuckerberg, flew down to Mar a Lago to meet with Donald Trump. And boy, are his knees tired. 

--Colin Jost

In other big news this week, Israel and Hamas committed to their version of Dry January. —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Yeah, I’ve already got one of those. It’s called God (Horneytown)

Anthony Weiner’s wife, Huma Abedin, has decided to finally separate from him after his latest sexting scandal. So ladies: He’s single! –Jimmy Fallon

Mark Zuckerberg actually gave the Pope a drone. The Pope was like, “You mean it hovers above us and sees everything? Yeah, I’ve already got one of those. It’s called God.” –Jimmy Fallon

In an interview with CNN last night, Ted Cruz was asked about being Donald Trump's vice president and said, quote, "I have zero interest whatsoever." Which is also what Cruz's friends say when he invites them to dinner. “You could’ve just said no!” –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

which explains why Goofy is missing all but two teeth (Do Not Resuscitate)

Mark Zuckerberg completed day two of his congressional testimony about security breaches. Things got a little tense when Zuckerberg referred to each senator by their PIN number. --Conan O’Brien

DEA officials have seized 500 pounds of meth concealed inside Disney figurines, which explains why Goofy is missing all but two teeth. --Conan O’Brien

A 104-year-old man just became the oldest person in the world to get a first tattoo. The tattoo says, "Do Not Resuscitate." –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

because his head is up an immersive experience called his butt (Whose gonna pay for it?)

October 2022

“We are emotionally and spiritually refreshed after a Connecticut jury ordered Alex Jones to pay nearly $1Billion to Sandy Hook families in a defamation case. Jones has for years falsely claimed that the 2012 school shooting was a hoax. You know how as humans, we have to accept the fact that sometimes bad things happen to good people? Well, by the grace of God, sometimes bad things happen to Alex Jones. The $965 Million verdict follows a Texas ruling which ordered Jones to pay $50 Million to another Sandy Hook family, bringing his total bill to over $1 Billion. You heard that right: billion with a capital BYEEEE. And that’s it. That’s that story. Lot of other stories to talk about tonight but I’d be just as happy to stand here and grin.” —Stephen Colbert

“Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg is having a rough go of it. First, he renamed Facebook Meta, as in he never met a democracy he couldn’t destroy. The company’s stock price has also tumbled nearly 60% in the past year, as Meta has struggled with its titular metaverse, where Zuckerberg envisions, according to a New York Times report, ‘billions’ of people inhabiting ‘immersive digital environments for hours on end, working, socializing and playing games’. And you know how you don’t want to do any of the things I just described to you? Zuckerberg thinks you do, because his head is up an immersive experience called his butt.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It’s not what you come for, but it’s why you stick around (Jeb Bush works at a Quiznos now)

October 2021

“I mentioned last night a trove of confidential internal Facebook documents were leaked to the press. The gist of them is that Facebook knew its technology was amplifying hate speech and misinformation. There was an internal memo written in 2019 that says, ‘We also have compelling evidence that our core product mechanics, such as vitality, recommendations, and optimizing for engagement, are a significant part of why these types of speech flourish on the platform.’ Their core product mechanics. That means hate and lies are baked directly into Facebook, like the cheese in a stuffed crust pizza from Pizza Hut.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“And another interesting detail is that Facebook engineers — they will prioritize the posts that get a lot of emoji reactions, including the anger emoji by 5-1 over just the regular like. The hate and the lies on Facebook — it’s like the nicotine in a cigarette: It’s not what you come for, but it’s why you stick around.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Yeah, that’s right, Facebook knew it was rewarding [expletive] posts as long as they generated an emotional response. And I’ll be honest, when I first heard about this, I was shocked because I couldn’t believe that Mark Zuckerberg knows what emotions are.” —Trevor Noah

“Although it does make sense because in regular life, we all put more value on things that produce an emotional response in us. You know, it’s why Donald Trump became president and Jeb Bush works at a Quiznos now.” —Trevor Noah

“Of course, everyone’s been talking about Facebook lately, and Mark Zuckerberg just announced that he’s ‘retooling’ the social media platform toward young adults and away from older users. Honestly, just make it a little harder to sign in, and you will never see an old person on Facebook.” —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Ah, yes, the place I’m totally from,’ said Mark Zuckerberg (that responsibility will ultimately fall to President The Rock)

April 2021

“Happy Earth Day! Everyone is in the spirit. This morning at 7-Eleven, I saw a rat drinking a Big Gulp with a metal straw.” —Jimmy Fallon

“Today was Earth Day. ‘Ah, yes, the place I’m totally from,’ said Mark Zuckerberg.” —Seth Meyers

“President Biden’s climate summit was a related hot topic, with late-night hosts touching on the president’s announcement that the United States will cut its carbon emissions in half by 2030. Added Biden, ‘Of course that responsibility will ultimately fall to President the Rock.’” —Seth Meyers

“That’s right, today was Earth Day even though I didn’t planet.” —Seth Meyers

“Humans celebrating Earth Day is like fleas celebrating Dog Day.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Earth Day started back in the ’70s with very lofty goals and has kind of turned into, ‘Guys, please, just for one day try not to light garbage on or near a panda bear, OK?’” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

What could possibly go wrong? (Well, how do you like that?)

March 2021

During a congressional hearing Mark Zuckerberg confirmed that he was creating an Instagram for kids. WOW! An app filled with pictures of just kids. What could possibly go wrong? —Michael Che

A school in Virginia is stealing a wallet to a woman 70 years after she lost it in a school gym. ‘Well, how do you like that?,’ said a black man still in jail for stealing it. —Michael Che

A Goldman Sachs executive has bought Jeffrey Epstein’s former upper East Side mansion for more than $50 Million.  Man, if those walls could talk I bet they would commit suicide before they had a chance to talk. —Michael Che

Miller Lite is now selling bar-scented candles including one called Dive Bar. For a preview of the smell, just miss the toilet for a week. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html

“A poet that belongs with the Masters. A magisterial collection. A combination of 

Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

So let’s do the right thing and let me go back to making laws (where Bill Gates keeps all his gold bars)

February 2021

“Now, look, man, Marjorie Taylor Greene isn’t the first person to believe things that she read on the internet. But her defense isn’t really reassuring because, basically, what she’s saying is, ‘Yes, up until now, I believed that school shootings were fake, 9/11 didn’t happen and that Jewish space lasers blew up California. But that’s only because I am incapable of separating fantasy from reality. So let’s do the right thing and let me go back to making laws.” —Trevor Noah

“Oh, my God, thank you, it is so big of you to admit that. What else would you like to clarify? ‘[Imitating Greene] I would also like to make clear that “Inception” is just a movie, “RoboCop” is not real, and the giant glowing orb in the sky is, in fact, the moon and not a secret sky bank where Bill Gates keeps all his gold bars.’” —Seth Meyers

“But, hey, I’m glad that she’s come around to the standard Republican belief that school shootings are real and that nothing should be done to stop them.” —Trevor Noah

“But, yes, you see, it’s all Facebook’s fault for ‘allowing’ her to believe in those things. So don’t blame her — blame Mark Zuckerberg, with his social media lies and his space lasers.” —Trevor Noah

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He doesn't look a day over crazy (Oh wait, that's me)

"Now that Hosni Mubarak is out of office, they're saying he's an old tyrant, decrepit, and out of touch. Oh wait, that's me." –David Letterman

"Kim Jong Il just turned 70 years old — but he doesn't look a day over crazy." –Craig Ferguson

"President Obama met with Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg in Silicon Valley yesterday. Zuckerberg said he could create new jobs. The bad news? They're all in Farmville." –Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

In the kid's defense, he did bring enough for everyone (There's more than one position?!)

Police in Philadelphia are investigating after a 5-year-old boy walked into his preschool class holding about two dozen vials of crack cocaine. In the kid's defense, he did bring enough for everyone. --Seth Meyers

In a series of tweets this morning, President Trump claimed that the U.S. is in a fantastic position in its trade war with China. "There's more than one position?!" said Mike Pence. --Seth Meyers

Today was Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg's 35th birthday. And if you're wondering what he wants, your personal data.  --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

And by the end of the show, all the handmaids had new cars (Does it bleed?)

Trump is in a Twitter feud with Harley-Davidson since they announced that they're moving some jobs overseas. When people first heard Trump was feuding with Harley-Davidson, they just assumed it was another porn star. --Jimmy Fallon

The cast of the new season of "The Bachelor in Paradise" was just announced. When ABC asked if they could take off work for six weeks for filming, they were like, “Oh, we don't have jobs. We'll be there tomorrow.” --Jimmy Fallon

Oprah made a cameo in this week's episode of "The Handmaid's Tale." And by the end of the show, all the handmaids had new cars. --Jimmy Fallon

A group of shareholders at Facebook might be plotting to get rid of Mark Zuckerberg. And their plan would be way more likely to work if Mark wasn't spying on them using Facebook. --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

I don't want that guy in the Senate — I want him to be my next lawyer! (This will really get Obama's goat)

Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg is funding a major effort to find extraterrestrial life. Zuckerberg said, "I truly believe somewhere out there is intelligent life whose personal data I can sell." --Conan O’Brien

President Trump is urging West Virginians to vote against a Republican Senate candidate who is a convicted felon. Trump said, "I don't want that guy in the Senate — I want him to be my next lawyer!" --Conan O’Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

It's one of those rare offenses where the punishment is the crime (it will eventually turn into something beautiful)

Founder Mark Zuckerberg announced today that Facebook has developed a new dating platform and promises the site is not for hookups and will not connect people already listed as friends. So, get ready to swipe left on your mom. --Seth Meyers

A California man who police say was drunk and hungry broke into a Taco Bell this weekend in the middle of the night and ate taco ingredients. It's one of those rare offenses where the punishment is the crime. --Seth Meyers

British officials are warning London residents not to touch recently spotted white-haired caterpillars that can cause rashes, sore throats, and vomiting. But like all white-haired caterpillars, it will eventually turn into something beautiful [photo of Anderson Cooper]. --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

I find it very, very inappropriate that only some people are getting cushions (Oh, no, that's my wallet)

House Speaker Paul Ryan announced today he will not seek re-election to spend more time with his family. So now his family are the ones asking for thoughts and prayers. --Seth Meyers

According to reports, Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg sat on a four-inch-thick cushion to boost his height during his Senate testimony yesterday. Zuckerberg was like, "Oh, no, that's my wallet." --Seth Meyers

Mark Zuckerberg sat on a four-inch-thick cushion during his Senate testimony yesterday. Jeff Sessions was like, "There was a cushion? I find it very, very inappropriate that only some people are getting cushions." --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.

In fact, Cohen is so screwed that today he paid himself $130,000 (opening statements)

It looks like Michael Cohen is in some serious trouble here. In fact, Cohen is so screwed that today he paid himself $130,000. --Jimmy Fallon

Today Mark Zuckerberg testified in Congress about Facebook's data leak. His opening statement was six pages long. Or as your aunt calls that, one Facebook post. --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.

They're the fearsome badass biker gang (Yelp's Angels)

Sen. Lindsey Graham asked Mark Zuckerberg if there was anything else like Facebook, and Zuckerberg said, "No." And at that exact moment, Tom from MySpace took his own life. --Conan O’Brien

A motorcycle gang in Canada is attacking businesses they don’t like by giving them mass one-star reviews online. They're the fearsome badass biker gang known as "Yelp's Angels." --Conan O’Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.

Mark Zuckerberg is worried, because today he applied for a job at MySpace (Let's do this)

The news about Trump is really getting juicy. Now multiple porn stars are saying they had affairs with him. It's tough for Trump, because he doesn't know whether to deny it or brag about it. --Jimmy Fallon

Trump is now facing backlash for congratulating Vladimir Putin on his big election win. Trump said, "What's the big deal? I also congratulated him after MY election win." --Jimmy Fallon

Speaking of Russia, I saw that if Trump meets with Robert Mueller, he might get to pick the time and place. So 3:00 p.m. at Chuck E. Cheese it is! Here we go. Let's do this. --Jimmy Fallon

Since it came out that Facebook's data was misused during the 2016 election, their stock has taken a huge dive. You can tell Mark Zuckerberg is worried, because today he applied for a job at MySpace. --Jimmy Fallon

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

Hello Kitty is selling wine for the holidays (sneaky, corrupt and dishonest, pt. 5)

Mark Zuckerberg announced that he is taking a leave from Facebook to spend more time with his daughters. Like everyone who says they’re leaving Facebook, he’ll come back every hour to see how many likes his announcement got. –Jimmy Fallon

    

The other big story is that early Saturday morning, Senate Republicans passed their tax plan. They said, “We realize doing this in the dead of night makes us look sneaky, corrupt and dishonest… Anyway, have a great weekend!” –Jimmy Fallon

Hello Kitty is selling wine for the holidays. So if you’re someone who wants to order some Hello Kitty wine, I’m Chris Hansen from “Dateline.” –Jimmy Fallon

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JohnHulse #collectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Fresh innovative approaches to sticking it to the uninsured and the sick (21 months)

There’s growing speculation that Mark Zuckerberg will run for president. He’s already got a great slogan: “Vote for me or I’ll retag you in every photo you’ve ever untagged.” –Jimmy Fallon

Another big story today: Anthony Weiner was sentenced to 21 months in prison for his sexting scandal. Weiner can get out in eight months with good behavior. So he’ll be serving 21 months. –Jimmy Fallon

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans