The good news is, he just got an offer to be the spokesman for Jell-O pudding (everyone on stage would be nude start to finish)

We are 25 days away from the election and Donald Trump is burning up like a meteor entering the atmosphere. Five women have come forward this week to claim he behaved inappropriately with them, touching, etc., including a reporter from People magazine and former pageant winner. Which is very bad news for his campaign. The good news is, he just got an offer to be the spokesman for Jell-O pudding. –Jimmy Kimmel

Yesterday, the NFL announced that Justin Timberlake is going to do the Super Bowl halftime show. This will be his first Super Bowl halftime performance since 2004 when he was part of the Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction. Remember when Janet Jackson exposing a breast was the worst thing about America? Justin Timberlake promised there would be no wardrobe malfunction because everyone on stage would be nude start to finish. –Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Finally, a chance to regift this goat (what you really really want)

A couple in Florida are getting married and instead of wedding presents, they've asked for money to buy goats. Even crazier, one couple they invited was like, "Finally, a chance to regift this goat." --Jimmy Fallon

Thousands of people across the country went skinny dipping this weekend in an attempt to break the 2009 world record of 13,648 skinny dippers. Then the sharks said, “Cool, they already took the wrappers off these.” –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

a four-letter word for enclosure (the first person ever to successfully cancel his gym membership)

A Massachusetts man was arrested this weekend for stripping naked and doing yoga poses in a Planet Fitness gym. That story again, a man in Massachusetts has become the first person ever to successfully cancel his gym membership. --Seth Meyers

A 91-year-old woman in Germany is under investigation for destruction of property after she tried filling in words on a crossword puzzle on display at an art museum. If charged, the woman could face time in a four-letter word for enclosure. –Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Not affected by this recall, Kid Rock (it'll reopen as soon as he's done)

67,000 cases of power stick deodorant are being recalled by order of the FDA. Not affected by this recall, Kid Rock. —Greg Gutfeld

A Seattle judge has closed a local beach for rampant nudity and public sex, and it'll reopen as soon as he's done. —Greg Gutfeld 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Almost half of Gen Z admitted to lying on their resumes (she should have dressed up as a sandwich)

Almost half of Gen Z admitted to lying on their resumes in a recent survey. Don’t I know it. My last three assistants claimed they were comfortable around nude men. —Greg Gutfeld

A New York City woman ran the Brooklyn Marathon in a wedding dress hoping to find a husband. If that’s her goal, she should have dressed up as a sandwich. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Rude Dude Escapes In The Nude (Or as Kanye West calls it...)

But we're not just tired today, we're also distracted because the NCAA College Basketball Championship bracket is set. Yes, it's time for March Madness! Or as Kanye West calls it, March. –James Corden

A headline in The Metro reads, “Naked Man Crashes Car Then Leads Police On Bizzare Nude Foot Chase.” That was their headline. The real headline should have read, “Rude Dude Escapes In The Nude.” --James Corden

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

the merman emoji is going to save me a ton of time (the only ones screaming)

Now on to some very, very incredibly important news tonight: There is a new set of emojis. They’re going to be released to smartphones in June. This new set will include a hedgehog, a puking face, a brain, and a merman. I’m not going to lie — the merman emoji is going to save me a ton of time. –James Corden

Here’s a story from my homeland and I could not be prouder today. In England a group of nearly 200 Brits set a world record, wait for it, it’s so moving. They set a world record for the most people to ride a roller coaster completely naked. Yeah, that’s what we have to offer the world. This is the first time that people watching the roller coaster were the only ones screaming. --James Corden

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

In a related story Kamala Harris just bought a fake ID (Well I could always use a translator)

Fireball Whiskey is offering a chance to win a lifetime supply of their product to people over 90. In a related story Kamala Harris just bought a fake ID. —Greg Gutfeld

A naked woman was seen running around Dallas Fort Worth airport yelling “I speak all languages." "Well I could always use a translator," said Bill Clinton. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

If your dad offers you a million dollars, say yes (totally freaked out by Rick Santorum)

“According to exit polls, Mitt Romney is struggling with voters who call themselves very conservative. However, Mitt is doing great with voters who describe themselves as being 'totally freaked out by Rick Santorum.'” –Conan O’Brien

This weekend, Kim Kardashian posted a naked selfie, and yesterday, Sharon Osbourne got inspired and posted a naked selfie. That explains why today, authorities shut down Barbara Walters' internet service. –Conan O’Brien

At the White House today, President Trump gave advice to a group of schoolchildren and he told them to “work hard.” Trump also told them, “If your dad offers you a million dollars, say yes.” –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

In a related story Bill Clinton just booked a flight on Southwest (two landing strips)

A Southwest Airlines flight had to return to the gate after a female passenger stripped naked and raced up and down the aisle. In a related story Bill Clinton just booked a flight on Southwest. —Greg Gutfeld

The naked woman ran around on the flight for 25 minutes. It confused many of the passengers who ended up seeing two landing strips that day. —Greg Gutfeld

Meanwhile an Air India flight was forced to return to the US because of clogged toilets. Sorry about that, said Jerry Nadler. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

If you do the math this will be the second time in a year Jim Acosta is out of work (Night of the Living Dems)

The US Navy has unveiled a photo of a warship firing a high-powered laser weapon. Its first target, removing Rashida Tlaib’s mustache. —Greg Gutfeld 

 

In Iran, a naked woman jumped on a police car to protest the country's treatment of women. In a related story, Bill Clinton just moved to Iran. —Greg Gutfeld

 

Walmart has announced plans to cut hundreds of jobs. If you do the math this will be the second time in a year Jim Acosta is out of work. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

President Jeb Bush (NOPE)

And finally some French news, or as they call it in France, News. The first restaurant in Paris created exclusively for naked diners has announced it’s closing due to a lack of customers. It’s a shame. Is this a shock to anyone? Scalding hot soup and no pants do not mix. They obviously had some problems. It’s the first time in history that a health inspector has ever issued a rating of “NOPE.” --James Corden

The truth is that the odds of you winning are 290 million to 1. That means you are about as likely to win the Powerball as you are to ever hear the words “President Jeb Bush.” –James Corden

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I’m sorry, that should be 70-24-36 (Snoop, that’s a mop)

According to a new report, so-called naked wedding dresses made of lace and sheer fabrics will be a popular trend this year. Also a popular wedding trend this year -- grandma heart attacks. --Seth Meyers

Happy birthday to Dolly Parton, who turned 70 today. I’m sorry, that should be 70-24-36. –Seth Meyers

Rapper Snoop Dogg recently revealed that country music singer Willie Nelson is the only person who can “out-smoke” him. And then someone said, “Snoop, that’s a mop.” –Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

These six guys control maybe 20% of the world’s wealth and 100% of your nudes (open source Illuminati)

Donald Trump’s inauguration, was attended by such tech billionaire CEOs or founders as Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg, Jeff Bezos, Tim Cook and more. Basically, a plethora of bald billionaires who all seem to go to the same bio-hack life extension clinic and say, ‘Give me the Lex Luthor’. These six guys control maybe 20% of the world’s wealth and 100% of your nudes. —Jon Stewart

“Shouldn’t this gathering be happening in a volcano’s lair near Zurich? Or are we just open source Illuminati?” —Jon Stewart

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

there will be no wardrobe malfunction because everyone on stage would be nude start to finish (towel service)

"National parks are shut down. NASA is shut down. There is one government building still open. That is the congressional gym – the exclusive gym where congressmen work out. But the gym is not fully operational because towel service is no longer available due to the shutdown. So, everyone is suffering." –Jimmy Kimmel

Yesterday, the NFL announced that Justin Timberlake is going to do the Super Bowl halftime show. This will be his first Super Bowl halftime performance since 2004 when he was part of the Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction. Remember when Janet the Jackson exposing a breast was the worst thing about America? Justin Timberlake promised there would be no wardrobe malfunction because everyone on stage would be nude start to finish. –Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Unfortunately, the study was conducted on the F train (Strategic, Honorable, and Interesting Tactics)

The CEO of BMW fainted onstage at the Frankfurt auto show this week. And in classic BMW fashion, he fainted across two parking spaces. –Seth Meyers

A new study has found that 8 percent of Americans sleep naked. Unfortunately, the study was conducted on the F train. –Seth Meyers

Because the FEC does not let candidate names appear in the title of a Super PAC, Carly Fiorina’s organization has started claiming its name CARLY for America is an acronym that stands for Conservative, Authentic, Responsive Leadership for You and for America. And I think that shows her campaign is full of Strategic, Honorable, and Interesting Tactics. –Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

those last few customers really got their money's worth (Fake nudes!)

A man was arrested on Friday by Secret Service officers for climbing over the White House fence. "I just wanted to see the Oval Office," said Jeb. –Seth Meyers

Disneyland Paris is temporarily shutting down its haunted house after an employee was found dead inside the attraction. But those last few customers really got their money's worth. –Seth Meyers

Law experts are saying that some of the language in adult film star Stormy Daniels' nondisclosure agreement suggests that she may have some lurid photos that were taken during their sexual encounters. Said Trump, "Fake nudes!" --Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, here’s another $500 Million (Rude Dude Escapes In The Nude)

A headline in The Metro reads, “Naked Man Crashes Car Then Leads Police On Bizzare Nude Foot Chase.” That was their headline. The real headline should have read, “Rude Dude Escapes In The Nude.” --James Corden

According to a report from the New York Times, Donald Trump repeatedly exaggerated his net worth in order to obtain enormous bank loans. In one instance, he overstated his wealth by $2 Billion. I don’t know what to think of this story. It’s just not like Trump to lie. Banks gave him millions in loans despite his multiple bankruptcies. You know the old saying, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, here’s another $500 Million.” --James Corden

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Ladies and gentlemen, tonight is a victory for the 1%! (Wait, What Just Happened In Vegas?)

This weekend, Kim Kardashian posted a naked selfie, and yesterday, Sharon Osbourne got inspired and posted a naked selfie. That explains why today, authorities shut down Barbara Walters' internet service. –Conan O’Brien

The Las Vegas Strip has just opened its first medical marijuana dispensary. Which is why today the city changed its slogan to "What Happens in Vegas… Wait, What Just Happened In Vegas?" –Conan O’Brien

“Mitt Romney just barely won the Republican primary in Ohio by 1%. Then Romney made the mistake of saying, 'Ladies and gentlemen, tonight is a victory for the 1%!'" –Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”