I haven't seen so many Democrats excited to travel since Epstein Island (Gnorts, Mr Alien)

Today of course is Earth Day. Nancy Pelosi said, "I remember the first one, seven billion years ago." —Greg Gutfeld

DNC co-chair David Hogg told Politico that JB Pritzker is a fighter. True. Right now he's battling diabetes, heart disease, and the thousand pound limit on his condo’s elevator. —Greg Gutfeld

Yesterday four more Democrats landed in El Salvador to greet Kilmar Garcia. I haven't seen so many Democrats excited to travel since Epstein Island. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

you're not the only rock in the neighborhood, you know what I'm saying? (You can't PowerPoint your way to j*had)

"Osama bin Laden fell surprisingly short in his latest tape, in which he discussed realigning percentages of Muslim representation on the U.N. Security Council and made some funding proposals for the Hamas regime in the Palestinian Territory. You know, I think Osama's jumped the sheik on this latest tape. Osama, keep your eye on the prize. Leave the Excel spreadsheets to the financial guys. You can't PowerPoint your way to jihad." --Jon Stewart

"Last week was a busy, busy week for both major parties. Starting with the Democrats, who met for a candidates forum on Logo, the gay-oriented cable channel that is not Lifetime or Bravo. It was generally a friendly event, except for one William Richardson [on screen: Richardson saying homosexuality is a choice, when asked if homosexuality is a choice or it is biological]. Richardson then swung into damage control mode, explaining the next day he didn't understand the question because of jet lag. Yes, apparently, the governor had just flown in from the 1950s." --Jon Stewart

"What was Earth doing in the run-up to Earth Day? Well, over the last week it gave us a volcano erupting in Peru, earthquakes in Tibet, Indonesia and Japan, freak tornados in America and the Philippines, floods in Hungary, Romania, Malaysia and Kenya, wildfires in Colorado, and a category five super-cyclone that's about to destroy Darwin, Australia. Earth, could you meet me over at camera three please? Hey Earth, how's it going? So I guess kissing your ass doesn't work. We call you beautiful, precious, mother. Gave you your own day. Just like veterans and groundhogs. We even named you planet of the year in 1988 -- even though by any objective estimation that was Neptune's year. We try to make nice, and what do you do? Not only do you kill us in a thousand different ways, but when we raise your temperature by just a degree -- one little degree -- you're all, 'Oh, it's so hot now, my polar ice caps are melting!' You're a pussy! I got news for you, Earth, you're not the only rock in the neighborhood, you know what I'm saying?" --Jon Stewart

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Ah, yes, the place I’m totally from,’ said Mark Zuckerberg (that responsibility will ultimately fall to President The Rock)

April 2021

“Happy Earth Day! Everyone is in the spirit. This morning at 7-Eleven, I saw a rat drinking a Big Gulp with a metal straw.” —Jimmy Fallon

“Today was Earth Day. ‘Ah, yes, the place I’m totally from,’ said Mark Zuckerberg.” —Seth Meyers

“President Biden’s climate summit was a related hot topic, with late-night hosts touching on the president’s announcement that the United States will cut its carbon emissions in half by 2030. Added Biden, ‘Of course that responsibility will ultimately fall to President the Rock.’” —Seth Meyers

“That’s right, today was Earth Day even though I didn’t planet.” —Seth Meyers

“Humans celebrating Earth Day is like fleas celebrating Dog Day.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Earth Day started back in the ’70s with very lofty goals and has kind of turned into, ‘Guys, please, just for one day try not to light garbage on or near a panda bear, OK?’” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Most of that came in the last year due to the rise in ‘Bridgerton’ butt (Hi! I'm the C.I.A.)

April 2021

“Climate deniers complain that doing anything is doing too much, but we just learned the price of doing nothing,” he added, citing one insurance company estimate that the climate crisis could cut the world economy by $23 Trillion in 2050 as crop yields fall, disease spreads and sea levels rise over coastal cities. It’s not a good sign when your insurance company sounds like the Book of Revelation.” —Stephen Colbert

“Of course, Earth Day is like prom in that every year has a theme. This year’s is ‘Restore Our Earth.’ Yes, we have to, or pretty soon the theme’s going to be ‘Enchantment Under the Sea.’” —Stephen Colbert

“Climate change is getting harder to ignore. Last year, wildfires blazing in the Arctic Circle set new emissions records, the Atlantic hurricane season raged stronger than ever, and we reached the end of the hottest decade ever recorded. Most of that came in the last year due to the rise in ‘Bridgerton’ butt.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

praying right now they don’t dig too close to her escape tunnel (She’s just getting hotter every year)

“Donald Trump celebrated Earth Day today with a shovel. The president, first lady and Mike and Karen Pence gathered on the South Lawn to dig a hole to bury his hair in. Look at how natural — so they are doing physical labor in their suits and heels. Melania is praying right now they don’t dig too close to her escape tunnel.” — Jimmy KImmel

“Today is the 50th Earth Day. The big 5-0. And I gotta say, Earth is still looking good. She’s just getting hotter every year, even with the receding glaciers and putting on a little water weight around the coastline.” — Stephen Colbert

“And you know, honestly, you gotta admit, man, Earth is having the best Earth Day ever. Because ever since coronavirus locked all of us in our homes, animals have been roaming free, the smog has cleared from the sky, the waters of Venice are blue again. Basically, as bad as coronavirus has been for humans, it’s been amazing for the Earth. In fact, I don’t want to be a conspiracy theorist, but isn’t Wuhan a part of the Earth?” — Trevor Noah

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Cheney called for the use of only recycled water when waterboarding prisoners (Balzheimer's disease)

"Dick Cheney and Karl Rove, once two of the most powerful men in this country, are now suffering from Balzheimer's disease. Why didn't I see it before? Balzheimer's is a terrible illness that attacks the memory and gives its victims the balls to attack others for things they themselves made a career of. There is no known cure." --Jon Stewart

"Well, Happy Earth Day, everybody. Yes. Today is Earth Day, or as the oil companies call it, Wednesday." --Jay Leno

"Even Dick Cheney was into Earth Day. Did you see what he said today? He called for the use of only recycled water when waterboarding prisoners." --Jay Leno 

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

which is different from what we do here in America. We give our biggest criminals bonuses (You have chosen the side of the oppressors)

"Mexico's government just offered a $2 million bounty on its top drug lords, which is different from what we do here in America. We give our biggest criminals bonuses." --Jimmy Fallon

"Did you hear about this? Nickelodeon's asking all children to unplug electronic devices for one minute on Earth Day to teach the importance of respecting the environment. I think it's a great idea, unless the kids are visiting their grandmother in a nursing home. Then that one minute is pretty rough. 'SpongeBob killed Nana. What happened?'" --Jimmy Fallon

"In Saudi Arabia, radical clerics want to ban all women from appearing on television. This is really bad news for fans of the hit comedy, 'How I Met Your Mullah.'" --Jimmy Fallon

"Voters in Iowa are already receiving phone calls about whether or not they approve of Alaska Governor Sarah Palin. They're instructed to press one for 'yes' and two for 'you betcha!'" --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

With the other 364 days we try to kill it

"Happy Earth Day. Earth Day was founded in 1970. It's the one day of the year we tell the Earth we love it. With the other 364 days we try to kill it." –Jimmy Kimmel 



Jon Stewart skewering Sean Hannity: "I am obsessed with your program in the same way that I'm obsessed with antibiotic-resistant superbugs or the Pacific garbage patch or the KFC Double Down. Because I just can't believe that in this day and age, with all that we know, this sh*t is out there -- that humanity, that our society, is still weighed down by these burdens of a seemingly more medieval time. Like your show. To see it night after night, serving up the same sh*t, my god, you're the Arby's of news."