Now let's see Jeffrey Epstein's client list (Unfortunately they are replacing her with a pipe line)

Land O'Lakes butter has removed the Native American woman from the landscape on its packaging over concerns that the imagery was racist. Unfortunately they are replacing her with a pipe line. —Michael Che

A Goldman Sachs executive has bought Jeffrey Epstein’s former upper East Side mansion for more than $50 Million.  Man, if those walls could talk I bet they would commit suicide before they had a chance to talk. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

See, crime does pay (Good. That's a start.)

"President Obama met with Wall Street executives today. He told them to stop fighting this financial reform. But the Wall Street executives are kind of copping an attitude with the president. You know, I got an idea. Forget financial reform. Let's put them in prison. Call it prison reform. See how they like it then." –Jay Leno

"Today President Obama released his long-form birth certificate, proving once and for all he was born in this country. But you know, it never ends. Now Republican leaders are saying they want to see the placenta." –Jay Leno

"Last week, President Obama gave a speech in New York City about his plan to reform these rules on Wall Street, you know? And one embarrassing moment. When the head of Goldman Sachs was going through security, he was asked to empty his pockets and five Republican senators fell out." –Jay Leno

"There are 249 millionaires in Congress. See, crime does pay." –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It was so bad, Goldman Sachs had to lay off three congressmen (Basic Instinct)

"The economy is bad. Dick Cheney was hanging people by their ankles just to catch the change that fell out of their pockets. That's how bad." --Jay Leno

"The stock market took a dive today. It was so bad, Goldman Sachs had to lay off three congressmen." –Jay Leno

"Experts say the Osama bin Laden death photo will be the most viewed image in history. Second, of course, is Sharon Stone from 'Basic Instinct.'" –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

In a related story Bill Clinton just booked a flight on Southwest (two landing strips)

A Southwest Airlines flight had to return to the gate after a female passenger stripped naked and raced up and down the aisle. In a related story Bill Clinton just booked a flight on Southwest. —Greg Gutfeld

The naked woman ran around on the flight for 25 minutes. It confused many of the passengers who ended up seeing two landing strips that day. —Greg Gutfeld

Meanwhile an Air India flight was forced to return to the US because of clogged toilets. Sorry about that, said Jerry Nadler. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

What? When did we start paying taxes? (He only bowed to Dick Cheney)

"More problems for Goldman Sachs. Did you know the tax rate it paid on its profits last year was 0.6 percent? And of course, the CEO of Goldman Sachs was furious when he heard this. He said: 'What? When did we start paying taxes? This is ridiculous.'" –Jay Leno

"Fox News is criticizing President Obama because he bowed to the Japanese emperor, and earlier he got in trouble with bowing to the Saudi king. See, that never would happen with President Bush. He only bowed to Dick Cheney." –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

We're the reason your parents lost your childhood home (using one tool correctly)

There’s a rumor that one in 10 Europeans is conceived in an Ikea bed. So people putting together Ikea furniture are at least using one tool correctly. –Conan O’Brien

The investment banking firm Goldman Sachs joined Instagram in an attempt to endear themselves to a new generation. Today, Goldman posted a meme that said, "We're the reason your parents lost your childhood home." --Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

But to be fair, people do grieve differently (And that was just by Congress)

 

"According to Time magazine, executives at the Wall Street firm of Goldman Sachs were paid an average of $600,000 last year. And that was just by Congress." –Jay Leno

"A 66-year-old republican deputy U.S. Attorney General in South Carolina, home of Governor Mark Sanford. You know him. The guy's name is Roland Corning. He's lost his job, got fired, after police discovered him in a cemetery with an 18-year-old stripper, a bag of sex toys, and a bottle of Viagra. But to be fair, people do grieve differently." –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It was so bad that even the ceremonial first pitch was hit for a triple (I have even more bad news)

The New York Mets lost to the Washington Nationals 25-4. It was so embarrassing, Mr. Met switched jerseys in the third inning. --Seth Meyers

The New York Mets suffered their worst loss in franchise history last night losing to the Washington Nationals 25-4. It was so bad that even the ceremonial first pitch was hit for a triple. --Seth Meyers

The USDA has issued a health alert over premade salads and wraps sold at Walgreens due to concerns they may be contaminated with an intestinal parasite. So, if you're buying your meals at Walgreens, I have even more bad news. --Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

How large of a decrease in their standard of living will Americans tolerate? (It was so bad, Goldman Sachs had to lay off three congressmen)

"There's talk of a new "Mad Max" movie, where gas is so expensive

people steal and kill to get it. It takes place in the future ... like

July." –Jay Leno

"Today Newt Gingrich didn't agree or disagree on the gay marriage thing. However, he did say there should be a term limit on all marriages." –Jay Leno

"The stock market took a dive today. It was so bad, Goldman Sachs had to lay off three congressmen." –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I'm the one who started both those wars, I should have won the prize (It was so bad, Goldman Sachs had to lay off three congressmen)

"Congress has voted to extend the Bush tax cuts. Is it me, or is George W. Bush getting more done now than when he was in office?" –Jay Leno

"The stock market took a dive today. It was so bad, Goldman Sachs had to lay off three congressmen." –Jay Leno

"It's interesting. During his speech, President Obama spoke about the difficulty of accepting a Peace Prize while we're fighting two different wars. And President Bush got really upset. He said, 'Hey, I'm the one who started both those wars, I should have won the prize." –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

We're the reason your parents lost your childhood home (And for an extra $50, for non-medical procedures)

I'm a big fan of scientific advances in the field of medicine. Scientists announced they just developed a robotic caterpillar that can crawl inside you for medical procedures. And for an extra $50, for non-medical procedures. --Conan O’Brien

The investment banking firm Goldman Sachs joined Instagram in an attempt to endear themselves to a new generation. Today, Goldman posted a meme that said, "We're the reason your parents lost your childhood home." --Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He was asked to empty his pockets and five senators fell out (Tasteful Marble Countertop State)

"Experts say the Osama bin Laden death photo will be the most viewed image in history. Second, of course, is Sharon Stone from 'Basic Instinct.'" –Jay Leno

"Last week, President Obama gave a speech in New York City about his plan to reform these rules on Wall Street, you know? And one embarrassing moment. When the head of Goldman Sachs was going through security, he was asked to empty his pockets and five Republican senators fell out." –Jay Leno

"It's happening more and more. The New Hampshire Senate now has passed a bill that would legalize same-sex marriage in New Hampshire. So, New Hampshire could go from the Granite State to the Tasteful Marble Countertop State." --Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It was so bad, Goldman Sachs had to lay off three congressmen (he just thought he was poor)

"The stock market took a dive today. It was so bad, Goldman Sachs had to lay off three congressmen." –Jay Leno

"The economy is bad. Dick Cheney was hanging people by their ankles just to catch the change that fell out of their pockets. That's how bad." --Jay Leno

"This has become quite a story; the Washington Post reported that Mitt Romney, while in high school, bullied a gay classmate. Did you hear about this story? In his defense, Romney said that he didn't know the kid was gay; he just thought he was poor." –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He meant he hopes Goldman Sachs changes their speaking fees from $225K to $400K (Apparently, up until this point, she's just been shoplifting)

Queen Elizabeth today learned how to use a self-service check-out at a supermarket's 105th birthday celebration. Apparently, up until this point, she's just been shoplifting. --Seth Meyers

Officials in Japan have begun criticizing President Trump's state visit later this month following reports that Trump would be given a chair to sit on while attending a sumo-wrestling tournament rather than following the traditional custom of sitting on the floor. Hey, that's just how he is. When Melania gave birth, he took the bed. --Seth Meyers

The Department of Homeland Security reported this week that just 20 miles of President Trump's border wall have been built. Even worse, that's vertically. --Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Man, if those walls could talk I bet they would commit suicide before they had a chance to talk (Ukraine in a nutshell)

A Goldman Sachs executive has bought Jeffrey Epstein’s former upper East Side mansion for more than $50 Million.  Man, if those walls could talk I bet they would commit suicide before they had a chance to talk. —Michael Che

Land O'Lakes butter has removed the Native American woman from the landscape on its packaging over concerns that the imagery was racist. Unfortunately they are replacing her with a pipe line. —Michael Che

Miller Lite is now selling bar-scented candles including one called Dive Bar. For a preview of the smell, just miss the toilet for a week. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

These mortals, they need so much care (It’ll go with their flexible ethics code)

The GOP’s healthcare plan came out last week and, so far, it’s popular with everyone . . . except doctors, hospitals, the insurance industry, patients, the elderly, Democrats, Republicans, and — what’s the word? — mortals. Yeah. These mortals, they need so much care. –Stephen Colbert

Goldman Sachs announced this week that it will be implementing a new “flexible dress code.” It’ll go with their flexible ethics code. --Stephen Colbert

This week the commerce department said that the nation’s trade deficit is at a record high in part due to punitive tariffs Donald Trump imposed. This is what you get when you elect a guy whose central philosophy is that big numbers are good. Colbert as Trump, “Look at that huge deficit. Almost as impressive as my giant, beautiful cholesterol.” --Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Wal-Mart said it's cheaper to fire people in bulk (hanging out with Michael Jackson)

"Wal-Mart announced it's cutting over 11,000 jobs. Wal-Mart said it's cheaper to fire people in bulk." –Jay Leno

"More problems for Goldman Sachs. Did you know the tax rate it paid on its profits last year was 0.6 percent? And of course, the CEO of Goldman Sachs was furious when he heard this. He said: 'What? When did we start paying taxes? This is ridiculous.'" –Jay Leno

"This week in his inaugural address, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie spoke of wanting to bring the people of New Jersey together. He wanted to bring them together by having them all try to merge into one lane." –Jay Leno

 

"Have you seen New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson? He supported Barack. He's now got a mustache and a goatee. Analysts say he's trying to look more Hispanic, more ethnic. They say that's one of the reasons that Obama joined the Trinity Church with the radical minister, tried to appear more black. See, white politicians can't do that. You can't try to be more white, you know. You don't see white politicians listening to Lawrence Welk, square dancing, eating Wonder Bread sandwiches, you know, hanging out with Michael Jackson, trying to be more white." --Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

His poor mother must be spinning in all of her graves (pure uncut Peruvian blue flake Schadenfreude)

January 2023

“It has been a day of pure uncut Peruvian blue flake Schadenfreude, watching the GOP stab each other in the throat. Kevin McCarthy, a longtime Trump acolyte from California, has long wanted the job of speaker and seemed like a shoo-in in November. But Kevin McCarthy has one major weakness: his weakness? Facing backlash from even farther-right members of his own party, McCarthy lost three votes, with even less support at the end. Remember, there’s more important things in life than winning or losing. There’s making fun of Kevin McCarthy for losing.” —Stephen Colbert

“New York congressman George Santos, who during his campaign lied about, and I’m rounding down here, everything. Among the things Santos lied about: where he went to high school, where he went to college, working for Goldman Sachs, owning 13 properties (he lives at his sister’s in Huntington), and that his grandparents survived the Holocaust. He also claimed his mother died in the September 11 attacks, then said she died a few years later, then admitted she died in late 2016. That is a horrible thing to lie about. His poor mother must be spinning in all of her graves.” —Stephen Colbert

“Kevin McCarthy’s inability to secure the vote for speaker of the House was a monumental failure that has not happened in 100 years. We are relishing in the backlash against McCarthy from even more pro-Trump members of his own party. If there’s one political lesson we’ve learned the past six years, it’s that there is always someone who is more pro-Trump. Whatever line of decency you draw in your head, someone else is going to walk right through that motherf*cker. Even Trump himself knows there are people out there more pro-Trump than him. McCarthy did everything he could to cozy up to Trump and the Maga circus in the House and he’s still facing a revolt from the looniest members of the GOP. McCarthy even visited Mar-a-Lago for a photo-op with Trump days after the January 6 attack. Did McCarthy think one visit to Mar-a-Lago was going to magically solve everything? That place is the opposite of Disney World. It’s where dreams go to die. If you ever find yourself at Mar-a-Lago and you’re not wearing a blue windbreaker with FBI on the back, that’s how you know you made some wrong turns in life.” —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

if there's one name that comes to mind when you're in a no-room-for-error crisis, it's George W. Bush (sustainable business models)

"But congratulations to John McCain, he wrapped up the Republican nomination this week. And we know this is official now because Mike Huckabee dropped out and said he was joining forces with John McCain. Oh, great, you've got one guy who doesn't believe in evolution, and another guy who remembers it." --Bill Maher

"As if all this news is not bad enough, today, President Bush announced he's on the case. Because if there's one name that comes to mind when you're in a no-room-for-error crisis, it's George Bush." --Bill Maher

"How many saw the Republican debate last night? Wow! Mitt Romney last night in Florida played the p---- card against the Clintons. It's only January and he's not even the candidate. He said the idea of Bill Clinton back in the White House with nothing to do. Now that is a man who wants to be president. He is telling the Republican base, 'You know what? These other posers up here with me, they may have forgotten about the sauce on the blue dress, but I, Ward Cleaver, have not. I am Mitt Romney, Mormon android and I will say whatever you program me to say. I will run on a platform of stopping illegal immigrants from having sex with Bill Clinton until the surge has succeeded.'" --Bill Maher

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”