It left many Democrat voters rolling over in their graves (they're complicit)

It's Liberation day! Yes not to be confused with Liberace day. That's when I show up to work with a candelabra up my a**. Wisconsin voters approved a referendum requiring voter ID leaving many Democrat voters rolling over in their graves. —Greg Gutfeld 

Delaware Democrat Chris Coons wonders why we're wasting time on Greenland when the average American can't find Greenland on the map. To which the average American responded, ‘well none of us can find Delaware on a map either.’ It’s a tiny little place. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Hey! This is America! We measure things in Delawares (Wow, that is the worst thing ever to happen to Titanic)

Avengers: Endgame just beat the $2.12 Billion box office record set by Titanic. Wow, that is the worst thing ever to happen to Titanic. --Stephen Colbert

Texas is still dealing with the aftermath of Hurricane Harvey. And they will be for years. Meanwhile, another hurricane, Irma, is bearing down on Florida. It's the largest Atlantic hurricane ever reported. Experts say it's the size of France. Hey! This is America! We measure things in Delawares. –Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Fireball shots/cross it deliberately (he never spent a dime of taxpayer money to be with his kids)

Meanwhile, Donald Trump’s conviction means that he could be ineligible to hold liquor licenses at his New Jersey golf courses. That’s right, no liquor at Trump golf courses. In a related story, Rudy Giuliani has announced that he’s voting for Joe Biden. According to New Jersey law, liquor license holders must have a “reputable character” and would be expected to conduct business “in a reputable manner”. Of course, this is New Jersey, so by ‘reputable’ they mean if you’re going to do Fireball shots out of a stripper’s butt crack, use a coaster. —Stephen Colbert

According to new analysis, Jill Biden’s round-trip flight from France to Delaware to attend Hunter’s trial could cost taxpayers as much as $345,000. Say what you will about Trump, but he never spent a dime of taxpayer money to be with his kids. —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

That sounds about right (Rat Orgy, Delaware)

A new survey lists the best city to live in in America is Boise, Idaho. While the worst city was once again Rat Orgy, Delaware. --Colin Jost, SNL

And this Monday is tax day. So if you haven’t paid any taxes yet, you’re Amazon. --Colin Jost, SNL

It was reported that Nicolas Cage is filing for an annulment four days after getting married in Las Vegas. Read all about it in this month’s issue of “That sounds about right.” --Colin Jost, SNL

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

She's not really a master debater (They got money for war)

"Did you watch the debate with Christine O'Donnell, you know, the anti-self pleasuring, witchy candidate in Delaware? She wasn't that good though. She's not really a master debater.'" –Craig Ferguson

"Did you go and see the 'Avatar' movie? The 3-D blockbuster has now made one billion dollars. Today, the auto industry issued a statement. They'd like to remind people that all their cars are in 3-D." –Craig Ferguson

"And starting today, we get the swine flu vaccination. Doctors are set to receive the vaccination first, because they're the only ones who can still afford to go see the doctor." --Craig Ferguson

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

Hey! This is America! We measure things in Delawares (Because millionaires write the tax law for billionaires)

A court on the island of Corsica just upheld a local ban on burkinis, which combine a burka with a bikini. Though I gotta say, I don't see much kini. It's mostly burk. But then again, well, look at those ankles! Hello! Those can't be natural. –Stephen Colbert

Defenders of the ban say burkinis promote the subjugation of women. So basically here’s their logic: “Excuse me, ma’am, your garment is part of a culture that oppresses women. So let’s lose that top.” –Stephen Colbert

As Donald Trump so sensitively mentioned, Texas is still dealing with the aftermath of Hurricane Harvey. And they will be for years. Meanwhile, another hurricane, Irma, is bearing down on Florida. It's the largest Atlantic hurricane ever reported. Experts say it's the size of France. Hey! This is America! We measure things in Delawares. –Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

While the worst city was once again Rat Orgy, Delaware (Mountain Dew Breast Milk Blast)

Batman turns 80 years old this month which explains his new

arch nemesis, Jamaican nurse. --Colin Jost, SNL

A new survey lists the best city to live in in America is Boise, Idaho. While the worst city was once again Rat Orgy, Delaware. --Colin Jost, SNL

A new study shows that in the past twenty years prediabetes in children has more than doubled. Thanks largely to the popularity of Mountain Dew Breast Milk Blast. —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Apparently, presidents lose classified documents the way we lose AirPods (Oh, look at that. The nuclear codes from Iran)

January 2023

“Hey, before we get started, everyone do me a favor. Check under your seats for any classified documents from The White House. They just seem to be everywhere lately.” —Jimmy Fallon

“A second batch of classified documents were found at President Biden's home in Delaware. Good Lord. Apparently, presidents lose classified documents the way we lose AirPods.” —Jimmy Fallon

“It's getting crazy. Now, instead of quarters, Biden's finding classified documents behind kids' ears. It's like, ‘Oh, look at that. The nuclear codes from Iran.’” —Jimmy Fallon

“But the Justice Department is taking this seriously. Today, the attorney general appointed a special counsel to investigate Biden's handling of the documents. Yeah. I'm not saying Biden's getting worried, but he just texted Rudy Giuliani. So, you go, Wow! That's not good.” —Jimmy Fallon

“That's right -- they appointed a special counsel. Biden tried to spin it. He said, "Good news -- I'm creating jobs.” —Jimmy Fallon

“And, finally, after being closed for years due to COVID, the public bathrooms in several New York City subway stations were just reopened. And you're not going to believe this. When they opened them up, they found more classified documents.” —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He was in charge of a state where some maniac was hiding stolen nuclear secrets? (Don't you dare tell me how to freedom)

November 2022

A 25 year old from Florida will become the first Gen-Z member of congress. Younger, said Matt Gaetz. —Colin Jost

Rupert Murdoch this week officially turned on Donald Trump. First, the New York Post ran a cover calling Ron DeSantis, Ron DeFuture, even though Ron DeFuture sounds more like a drag queen from outer space. Then on Thursday, the New York Post showed Donald Trump as an egg sitting on a wall with the headline, Trumpty Dumpty, which had to be the easiest Photoshop job in history. And now Trump is threatening to reveal unflattering information about DeSantis. For example, did you know Ron DeSantis is in charge of a state where some maniac was hiding stolen nuclear secrets? —Colin Jost

A woman in Delaware won $400,000 after hitting back to back Lottos in the same day. But the woman is still going to keep her day job. Forging lottery tickets. —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

the liberal media used two of its favorite tricks on her: 'Record' and 'Play.' ($400 kneeling shoes)

According to Ivana Trump’s new book, President Trump once left his son Donald Trump Jr. stranded on a tarmac after he was five minutes late for a flight. Even worse, Eric’s been in an overhead bin for the last two years. –Seth Meyers

"Delaware Republican senate candidate Christine O'Donnell blamed her campaign's recent troubles on unfair coverage in the "liberal media." Yup, the liberal media used two of its favorite tricks on her: 'Record' and 'Play.'" –Seth Meyers

After President Trump called for pro-athletes to be fired if they didn't stand for the national anthem, Nike released a statement yesterday in support of "athletes and their right to freedom of expression." Then they introduced a new line of $400 "kneeling shoes." –Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

That's the first time a Republican switched sides and was not arrested in an airport bathroom (She's not really a master debater)

"A new survey says one in three adults will be dressing up for Halloween. As for me, I'm not going to do anything. I'm going as Congress." –Craig Ferguson

"Do you know in Washington today, a Republican senator from Maine voted with the Democrats on health care? That's the first time a Republican switched sides and was not arrested in an airport bathroom." --Craig Ferguson

"Did you watch the debate with Christine O'Donnell, you know, the anti-self pleasuring, witchy candidate in Delaware? She wasn't that good though. She's not really a master debater.'" –Craig Ferguson

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

while Trump just spoke English, but louder (Rat Orgy, Delaware)

Batman turns 80 years old this month which explains his new arch nemesis, Jamaican nurse. --Colin Jost, SNL

A new survey lists the best city to live in in America is Boise, Idaho. While the worst city was once again Rat Orgy, Delaware. --Colin Jost, SNL

Michael Cohen also said that Donald Trump inflated his net worth by 4 Billion dollars in order to buy the Buffalo Bills. You lied to buy the Buffalo Bills? That’s like using a fake ID to get into a Nickelback concert. --Colin Jost, SNL

This week President Trump met with North Korean dictator, and let’s face it, one of his top five closest friends, Kim Jong Un. Talks broke down when the two leaders could not agree on sanctions. Another problem was Kim Jong Un used an interpreter while Trump just spoke English, but louder. --Colin Jost, SNL

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/02/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

in fairness, she hasn't said anything to him since 1998 (the first thing I know about Delaware)

May 2013

"Former South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford is the guy who told his wife he was going for a hike and then went to Argentina to see his girlfriend. He was then exposed as an unethical, lying, cheating weasel. In a stunning comeback, he has been elected to Congress, where he'll fit right in." –Jay Leno

"Today Sanford said his first order of business was improving relations with South America." –Jay Leno

"New predictions claim that 42 percent of Americans will be obese by the year 2030. They say the only way to stop it is for government to step in. Oh, yeah, that will work. When it comes to trimming the fat and tightening your belt, who knows better than the U.S. government?" –Jay Leno

"Bill Clinton was being interviewed recently, and he said that despite all the speculation, Hillary hasn't said anything to him about running for president in 2016. Though in fairness, she hasn't said anything to him since 1998." –Jimmy Fallon 

"Yesterday, Delaware became the most recent state to legalize same-sex marriage. That marks the 11th state to make same-sex marriage legal and the first thing I know about Delaware." –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

This is a journalist/This is a corporate shill (the liberal media used two of its favorite tricks)

"An amazing thing. This morning I get up to let the dog out into the backyard. Guess what? President Obama is out there talking about the economy." –David Letterman

"So you probably heard the presidential seal fell off the podium during a recent Obama speech. Know what they found on the back? His birth certificate." –David Letterman

"Delaware Republican senate candidate Christine O'Donnell blamed her campaign's recent troubles on unfair coverage in the "liberal media." Yup, the liberal media used two of its favorite tricks on her: 'Record' and 'Play.'" –Seth Meyers

"In Washington, President Obama's recent speech to a women’s conference was interrupted when his presidential seal on the podium fell off -- two years early." –Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

She'll need a miracle to win. Or a very good spell (She's not really a master debater)

"Sarah Palin and Rush Limbaugh are President Obama's 10th cousins. Which means they are secret Muslims." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Did you watch the debate with Christine O'Donnell, you know, the anti-self pleasuring, witchy candidate in Delaware? She wasn't that good though. She's not really a master debater.'" –Craig Ferguson

"Christine O'Donnell is trailing in the polls by 20 percent. She'll need a miracle to win. Or a very good spell." –Craig Ferguson

"The debate was moderated by Wolf Blitzer. It got very intense. At one point, O'Donnell turned him into an actual wolf." –Craig Ferguson

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

I live in Delaware, what else am I suppose to do? (honey, look at your reflection in your cauldron)

"Political experts say the one thing you're not supposed to do as a politician is say you're not something. Remember, Nixon 'I am not a crook.' Bill Clinton 'I did not have sex with that woman.' Carly Fiorina has an ad out here. She said, 'I am not that butch gym teacher from 'Glee.'" – Bill Maher

"Christine O'Donnell is blaming the liberal media, but you know what, Christine, I just showed clips of you opening your mouth and crazy s**t coming out. If you want to blame someone, honey, look at your reflection in your cauldron." –Bill Maher

"Christine O'Donnell is behind, but I don't think it's the witch stuff. I think it's because of her anti-masturbation stance. She's very serious about that, and you know people in Delaware are going, 'Come on, I live in Delaware, what else am I suppose to do?'" –Bill Maher

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Batman turns 80 years old this month (Rat Orgy, Delaware)

Queen Elizabeth has posted her first ever picture on Instagram. Finally a chance for commoners to directly tell the queen, “Show feet.” --Colin Jost, SNL

A new survey lists the best city to live in in America is Boise, Idaho. While the worst city was once again Rat Orgy, Delaware. --Colin Jost, SNL

Batman turns 80 years old this month which explains his new arch nemesis, Jamaican nurse. --Colin Jost, SNL

It was reported that President Trump watched the Super Bowl at Mar-a-Lago with  Li Yang, the woman who founded the chain of Asian Day Spas where Patriots owner Robert Kraft allegedly solicited a prostitute. First of all, what a time to be alive, huh? Second, you know that Trump spent all their time together trying to convince her to give up North Korea’s nuclear weapons. --Colin Jost, SNL

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Nancy Pelosi was furious. She said, "Hey, that's my slogan." (Quick, to the dunking tank!)

"Christine O'Donnell is the Senate candidate from Delaware who's against masturbation and has dabbled in witchcraft. She's fighting back against the charges she's a witch with a new ad in which she says, 'I'm not a witch. I'm you.' I don't think this is a good strategy because I'm crazy. I would never vote for me. Besides, it doesn't make any sense. If she's me then she masturbates constantly. And if she's me then that means she can turn herself into other people, which means she's a witch. Quick, to the dunking tank!" –Craig Ferguson

"Christine O'Donnell has a new campaign ad where she says she's not a witch. Nancy Pelosi was furious. She said, 'Hey, that's my slogan.'" –Jay Leno

"Donald Trump may run for president. Is that a good idea? Haven't enough Americans already been told, 'You're fired'?" –Jay Leno

"Well, at least there would be someone in politics with worse hair than Joe Biden." –Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

If Trump wants to make sure abortion clinics close he should put his name on them (cast a spell on healthcare)

"So two years ago America broke up with you, because you had badly mistreated her. And you come back rapping on our door, hat in hand, and you say, 'Baby, I know you love me. But if we get back together, I pledge to you, I promise you, I will still try to f*ck your sister every chance I get.'" –Jon Stewart, on the GOP's new "Pledge to America" 

"You know Delaware is running a witch, her name is Christine O'Donnell, and she wants to be the Senator from Delaware and today she promised if she's elected she'll cast a spell on healthcare." –David Letterman

"Last night on Fox News, Sarah Palin said she would run for President, if nobody else steps up. Which explains why today, nearly every person in the country announced they were running for President." –Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

today she used her caldron to make chowder (Motel 666)

"Here's how you can tell it's autumn, Christine O'Donnell, the witch from Delaware, today she used her caldron to make chowder." –David Letterman

"In Delaware, they have a professional witch running for Senate, and she said at one time that she actually had a date on a satanic altar. Whoa! I mean, seriously, who hasn't? The date actually took place at Motel 666." –David Letterman

"The premiere of 'Hawaii Five-0' was a great episode. The cops were looking around and they accidentally stumbled upon Obama’s birth certificate." –David Letterman

"According to experts, the recession is over. Is it really over or is it just pulling a Leno?" –David Letterman

"Vice President Joe Biden says in fact the stimulus is working, and he also says his hair plugs are working." –David Letterman

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”