A robot has been taught how to write rap songs by being fed more than 6,000 Kanye West lyrics. The problem is, now the robot thinks it’s God. –Conan O’Brien
In Wisconsin, a child’s trick-or-treat bag was found to contain meth. On the plus side, the kid did manage to hit 19 houses in under two minutes. –Conan O’Brien
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
"The birth certificate of the royal baby lists her parents' occupations as being 'the prince and princess of the United Kingdom.' It says that under occupation, which I guess sounds better than 'unemployed.'" –Conan O'Brien
"Prince William's pregnant wife, Kate Middleton, is past her due date. Doctors may have to induce labor. To speed up the birth, doctors have been telling the baby, 'Come on out. You will never have to work a day in your life.'" –Conan O'Brien
German Chancellor Angela Merkel says she is confident that fake news will not harm her chances in Germany’s election. In fact, Merkel is so confident she’s going to win, she’s not even going to campaign in Wisconsin. –Conan O’Brien
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
“According to a new study, human waste contains gold and other special minerals. In the future this could make things awkward when a cashier asks, "How would you like to pay for that?"—Conan O’Brien
While campaigning in Wisconsin, Ted Cruz refused to wear the traditional Wisconsin "Cheesehead." Ted Cruz said the Cheesehead would compromise the dignity that he one day hopes to have. –Conan O’Brien
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
At a campaign event in Wisconsin yesterday, a 16-year-old boy threw an egg at Donald Trump but missed. And I can’t quite explain it, but somehow it hit Jeb Bush. –Seth Meyers
The DEA has announced that by the middle of the year they may decide to remove marijuana from its Schedule 1 category of dangerous drugs. Because, let’s face it, it’s absurd to have “marijuana” and “schedule” in the same sentence. –Seth Meyers
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
“There was an irreconcilable contradiction between Trump’s two big campaign promises, imposing tariffs and bringing down costs. And now we know which one of those promises was real and which one was bullshit. Spoiler alert: the bad one was real and the good one was bullshit.” —Seth Meyers
And at a rally in Wisconsin, Elon Musk encouraged people to have children because the birth rate is declining, and said that having kids “will make you feel happy”. At least, the idea of them will. You know, just knowing you have 14 or 15 of them out there somewhere, it really warms your heart. —Seth Meyers
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
It's Liberation day! Yes not to be confused with Liberace day. That's when I show up to work with a candelabra up my a**. Wisconsin voters approved a referendum requiring voter ID leaving many Democrat voters rolling over in their graves. —Greg Gutfeld
Delaware Democrat Chris Coons wonders why we're wasting time on Greenland when the average American can't find Greenland on the map. To which the average American responded, ‘well none of us can find Delaware on a map either.’ It’s a tiny little place. —Greg Gutfeld
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
Breakfast Club star Anthony Michael Hall is facing seven years in prison for fighting his neighbor. However, his lawyer is trying to plea bargain that down to just serving detention with Molly Ringwald, Emilio Estevez, and Judd Nelson. –Conan O’Brien
This week federal officials entered a Wisconsin classroom and seized several giant African land snails because they're considered a health hazard. Officials rounded up the snails after a two-second chase. --Conan O’Brien 4/27/2004
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
“I’m not saying the Clintons don’t have any power — they could definitely get a reservation at any restaurant in New York City, party of four, 7:00. On a Saturday? Maybe not. But masterminding a scheme to assassinate a high-profile prisoner in a maximum-security federal custody? They couldn’t even mastermind a visit to Wisconsin.” --Stephen Colbert
I'd like to take a moment right now to reassure Kim Jong Un. Dear Leader, I want you to know that your ban on sarcasm is a great idea, it's so, SO smart. It doesn't seem desperate AT ALL. And setting off a bomb underneath your own country? Genius! By the way, that haircut — amazing! Doesn't make you look anything like a gang leader at a women's prison. –Stephen Colbert
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
President Bush delivered a commencement speech at a university in Wisconsin. A very inspirational speech. Apparently Bush told the students, "You can do anything in life if your parents work hard enough." –Conan O’Brien
The president finally explained why he sat in that classroom on 9/11 for 7 minutes after he was told the country was under attack. He said he was "collecting his thoughts." What a time to start a new hobby! –Bill Maher
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
This week has seen a heatwave across much of the US, with a record 103 degrees in Maine. Stephen King will now be writing “Misery 2: The Backs of My Knees Are So Sweaty”. —Stephen Colbert
Studies have shown that increased heat can be bad for the brain, making it harder for many to find their words and leading to higher rates of aggression and violent crime. “Well that explains Florida.” —Stephen Colbert
Donald Trump’s latest rally was in Wisconsin where his brain seem parboiled. Among other strange moments, he made the bizarre accusation that Biden was using cocaine. Joe Biden is not on the Peruvian marching powder but if he did want to dance with the white lady, he could raise a lot of campaign cash selling his own brand of joe-caine. —Stephen Colbert
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
During a rally on Saturday, former President Donald Trump bragged about passing a cognitive exam before mistakenly referring to his White House doctor, Ronny Jackson, as “Ronny Johnson.” It’s like walking into a glass door after the doctor says you have 20/20 vision.” — Jimmy Fallon
[Imitating Trump] “I love Ronny Johnson. Doc Ronny — Doc Ronny Johnson. He gave me the test, then I went home to my beautiful wife, Malaria.” — Stephen Colbert
“The sad thing is under MAGA law, his name is now Ronny Johnson.” —Jon Stewart
“Just weeks before he heads to the Republican National Convention in Milwaukee, he called Milwaukee ‘a horrible city,’ forcing liberals around the country to defend Milwaukee, a city they then had to pretend to have been to: ‘Oh, Milwaukee’s the finest city in, I want to say, Indiana.’” — Jon Stewart
“Trump’s team tried to defend the remarks, saying the former president wasn’t calling the whole city horrible, just crime in the city, with one aide saying, ‘He was directly referring to crime in Milwaukee.’ Now he does have a point. Milwaukee has become so soft on crime that their convention center is hosting a convicted felon.” — Stephen Colbert
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
The Royal wedding is just three days away! Which means in just three days, the world will finally get to see the queen do the Electric Slide. --Jimmy Fallon
A new survey found that Green Bay, Wisconsin, is the drunkest city in the U.S. You can tell, cuz no one in Green Bay remembers answering that survey. --Jimmy Fallon
Kim Jong Un might cancel his meeting with President Trump, where they were supposed to discuss North Korea's nuclear weapons. Trump was like, "How could someone just pull out of a nuclear agreement?" And Iran was like, "I know, it's crazy, right?" --Jimmy Fallon
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
An elementary school teacher in Wisconsin was arrested after she allegedly made out with one of her fifth grade students just months before her wedding. Which is why you should never have your bachelorette party at Chuck E. Cheese. —Colin Jost
An 11 day cruise is being offered next year from Miami to the Caribbean in which passengers will be nude. The cruise will offer Pickle Ball, Corn Hole, and also games. —Colin Jost
A new report chronicles a disorder called sexsomnia in which people try to have sex when they’re asleep. The report was written by someone named Phil Fosby. —Colin Jost
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
Today is National Teacher Appreciation Day. It’s a special day when we Americans show our gratitude to teachers in any form but money. –Conan O’Brien
Plans are underway to build an erotic theme park in Brazil called “ErotikaLand.” In fact, Brazilian workers are already busy waxing the rainforest. –Conan O’Brien
German Chancellor Angela Merkel says she is confident that fake news will not harm her chances in Germany’s election. In fact, Merkel is so confident she’s going to win, she’s not even going to campaign in Wisconsin. –Conan O’Brien
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
At a campaign event in Wisconsin yesterday, a 16-year-old boy threw an egg at Donald Trump but missed. And I can’t quite explain it, but somehow it hit Jeb Bush. –Seth Meyers
“Dr. Fauci said he doesn’t think that we should ever shake hands again. ‘But what if it’s our anniversary?’ asked Mike Pence.” —Seth Meyers
President Trump's chief economic adviser Gary Cohn announced his resignation yesterday, which means Trump is now down [photo of Magic 8-Ball] to just one adviser. --Seth Meyers
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
A woman in Wisconsin was arrested over the weekend after allegedly handing out marijuana cookies at a St. Patrick's Day parade. Police became suspicious when nobody got into a fistfight. --Seth Meyers
President Trump today met with the crown prince of Saudi Arabia at the White House. The prince asked for Trump's help fighting terrorism, and Trump asked for three wishes. --Seth Meyers
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
For the first time ever a copy of Dr. Seuss's book The Cat in the Hat came out in Yiddish. They're also coming out with another Yiddish Dr. Seuss book called Green Eggs, Hold the Ham. --Conan O’Brien 3/16/2004
This week federal officials entered a Wisconsin classroom and seized several giant African land snails because they're considered a health hazard. Officials rounded up the snails after a two-second chase. --Conan O’Brien 4/27/2004
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
Today, Queen Elizabeth stepped down as the patron of children’s charities. The queen said, “I just realized I really hate kids.” –Conan O’Brien
A study has confirmed that eating less increases your lifespan. The study goes on to advise the residents of Wisconsin to get their affairs in order. –Conan O’Brien
"McDonald's released a new video showing how it makes their Chicken McNuggets. Apparently it turns out that McNuggets aren't made out of chicken. They're made out of people who ask too many questions." –Conan O'Brien
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
