I haven't seen so many Democrats excited to travel since Epstein Island (Gnorts, Mr Alien)

Today of course is Earth Day. Nancy Pelosi said, "I remember the first one, seven billion years ago." —Greg Gutfeld

DNC co-chair David Hogg told Politico that JB Pritzker is a fighter. True. Right now he's battling diabetes, heart disease, and the thousand pound limit on his condo’s elevator. —Greg Gutfeld

Yesterday four more Democrats landed in El Salvador to greet Kilmar Garcia. I haven't seen so many Democrats excited to travel since Epstein Island. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

so many great things have happened so fast (sucking face)

And finally research suggests that exposure to micro-plastics can increase the risk of diabetes and stroke. So some are already advising against using plastic water bottles, food containers and sucking face with Nancy Pelosi. —Greg Gutfeld

Since January 20th so many great things have happened so fast. The borders have been closed, fugitives have been caught, egg and gas prices have plummeted and Rosie O'Donnell moved to Ireland. —Greg Gutfeld 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It's being hailed as a "breakthrough" for people who like to scare small children (for a few seconds he accidentally made some foreigners happy)

Dunkin' Donuts announced next year they will shorten their name from Dunkin' Donuts to just "Dunkin'." And their customers will shorten the name of their disease from diabetes to just 'betes from now on. --Conan O’Brien

Scientists developed a robotic skin that can make stuffed animals appear to come to life. It's being hailed as a "breakthrough" for people who like to scare small children. --Conan O’Brien

At the U.N. today President Trump told world leaders that his administration has accomplished more than any in U.S. history, and the whole audience laughed. Trump was furious — 'cause for a few seconds he accidentally made some foreigners happy. --Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

While the worst city was once again Rat Orgy, Delaware (Mountain Dew Breast Milk Blast)

Batman turns 80 years old this month which explains his new

arch nemesis, Jamaican nurse. --Colin Jost, SNL

A new survey lists the best city to live in in America is Boise, Idaho. While the worst city was once again Rat Orgy, Delaware. --Colin Jost, SNL

A new study shows that in the past twenty years prediabetes in children has more than doubled. Thanks largely to the popularity of Mountain Dew Breast Milk Blast. —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

That’s OK, we’re used to hiding our identity (Sopranos On Dragons)

This morning, Twitter went down for almost an hour. As a result, President Trump was forced to open a window and start yelling at people on the street. --Conan O’Brien

There are only a few more episodes left of Game of Thrones before the show ends. And HBO is trying to find ways of keeping viewers happy when the show leaves the air. I have a suggestion for HBO. Sopranos On Dragons. --Conan O’Brien

“Yeah, everyone has to wear a mask. The players on the New York Jets said, ‘That’s OK, we’re used to hiding our identity.’” — Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Open the schools! (It's about social control)

The producers of the upcoming James Bond movie No Time To Die announced that because of the coronavirus outbreak they are pushing the movie’s release date from April to November. Though I think they should still release the movie in April and just take out the No. —Colin Jost

A seven year old boy in Pennsylvania set a new world record by bouncing on a POGO stick more than 2,000 times in a row. Said the boy's parents, “Open the schools!” —Colin Jost

Post cereal has announced they will be making a new Sour Patch Kids flavored cereal. It’s a great way to start the morning off on the right foot because the left foot was taken by diabetes. --Colin Jost, SNL

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

They’re also not thrilled about the new James Brown biopic starring Benedict Cumberbatch (Pantsuit Email Crunch)

A lot of people are upset because in a new movie, Michael Jackson will be played by British white actor Joseph Fiennes. They’re also not thrilled about the new James Brown biopic starring Benedict Cumberbatch. –Conan O’Brien

"Today, the Olympic torch arrived in Sochi. But Vladimir Putin immediately put it out because he thought it was too flaming." –Conan O'Brien

Ben of Ben & Jerry’s is coming out with an ice cream for Bernie Sanders called "Bernie’s Yearning." It’s selling a lot better than Jerry’s ice cream for Hillary, "Pantsuit Email Crunch." –Conan O’Brien

McDonald’s now has a special kind of Happy Meal that comes with a book instead of a toy. The book is called, "D is for Diabetes." –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Officials became suspicious when they couldn't find any squid marks (One of them even lost an eye... 26)

During a campaign stop, a New Hampshire bar offered Marco Rubio what they called a “Marco Rubio burger.” It’s called the Marco Rubio burger because Chris Christie eats it for lunch. –Seth Meyers

Two elderly women in Canada this week got into a physical fight after they both wanted to sit in the same chair during a game of Bingo. One of them even lost an eye... 26. --Seth Meyers

The latest polls show President Trump has an approval rating in the low 40s, which means he’s probably about to dump it for one in the low 20s. –Seth Meyers

A motorist in the UK was arrested yesterday after he crashed his car while swerving to avoid hitting an octopus he claimed to have seen in the road. Officials became suspicious when they couldn't find any squid marks. --Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Thanks largely to the popularity of Mountain Dew Breast Milk Blast (I'm not gonna lose any sleep over it)

April 2022

The conservative media organization The Daily Wire said they will spend $100 million to create children’s programming to counter woke media companies. Programs will include Clifford, The Big Straight Dog, Encanto, but in English, and One Fish, Two Fish, That’s How Many Fish, That’s How Many Fish Genders There Are. —Colin Jost

Wildlife officials in Tennessee have captured a 500-pound black bear living on a college campus. A black bear that, let’s face it, took the spot of more deserving white and Asian bears. —Colin Jost

A new study shows that in the past twenty years pre-diabetes in children has more than doubled. Thanks largely to the popularity of Mountain Dew Breast Milk Blast. —Colin Jost

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Which means the Russian people are going to be forced to develop diabetes on their own now (Finally, some good news)

March 2022

“As we told you yesterday, McDonald’s, Starbucks and now Coca-Cola have announced that they are suspending business in Russia. Yes, which means the Russian people are going to be forced to develop diabetes on their own now.” —Trevor Noah

“One of the major companies is Starbucks. They just closed all 130 of their stores over there. Yeah, and that was just on one street.” —Jimmy Fallon

“There’s always Dunkin’ Donuts, but Putin was like: ‘Nyet. That’s what America runs on.’” —Jimmy Fallon

“And then, facing growing public pressure, Papa John’s announced that it is halting all Russian business operations. Russians were like, ‘Finally, some good news.’” —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/02/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

They say their first clue was when they were shot at by penguins (I dare her to put on a leather mask and say that)

"Scientists have discovered that Texas and Antarctica were once linked. They say their first clue was when they were shot at by penguins." –Conan O'Brien 

"A new study shows that Americans with Type 2 diabetes can completely reverse the disease by eating healthy foods. In other words, no cure for Type 2 diabetes." –Conan O'Brien

Pope Francis is calling for an audit of all the Catholic Church’s wealth. In a related story, Pope Francis is missing. –Conan O’Brien

"Senator Hillary Clinton said she is in favor of building a wall between Mexico and the United States. After hearing this, former President Bill Clinton said, 'She means a metaphorical wall of silence and resentment. Trust me.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright called North Korea's leader Kim Jung Il a pervert. In response, Kim Jung Il said 'I dare her to put on a leather mask and say that to my ass.'" --Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

This marks the first time Kennedy has ever come out against anything with rum in it (there's no funner way to get diabetes)

Yesterday defense secretary Donald Rumsfeld made the news. He testified before Congress and Ted Kennedy called for Rumsfeld's resignation. This is interesting. This marks the first time Kennedy has ever come out against anything with rum in it. --Conan O’Brien 6/24/2005

General Mills is launching a national ad campaign that promotes the health benefits of eating cereals like Trix, Lucky Charms and Cocoa Puffs. They're saying they're healthy. The first ad says eat Lucky Charms there's no funner way to get diabetes. --Conan O’Brien 6/24/2005

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Republican Party Chain of Command (for people who like to scare small children)

Dunkin' Donuts announced next year they will shorten their name from Dunkin' Donuts to just "Dunkin'." And their customers will shorten the name of their disease from diabetes to just 'betes from now on. --Conan O’Brien

Scientists developed a robotic skin that can make stuffed animals appear to come to life. It's being hailed as a "breakthrough" for people who like to scare small children. --Conan O’Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”  

Happily Married Woman (Holiday Diabetes Season)

Krispy Kreme locations are giving out free donuts this Halloween when you come in wearing a costume. Yeah, it’s the perfect way to kick off the "Holiday Diabetes Season." –Conan O’Brien

There was a big Halloween Party at the White House yesterday. Some of the Halloween costumes at the White House were a little over the top. For example, Melania Trump went as "Happily Married Woman." –Conan O’Brien

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans