"Big personnel change
at the White House. Yesterday, President Bush's chief speechwriter announced he's
leaving the White House. His exact words were, 'Me go now.'" --Conan
O'Brien
"This is a weird story.
President Bush has apologized today for scolding a member of the White House
press corps for wearing sunglasses because he found out the reporter is legally
blind. Bush also apologized for telling physicist Stephen Hawking 'to get off
your lazy a--.'" --Conan O'Brien
"Remember those
$1,000 credit cards given to the victims of Hurricane Katrina? Congressional investigators now say FEMA
was conned out of over $1.4 billion in bogus claims. Imagine how much worse it
would have been if FEMA had actually gotten there on time?" --Jay Leno
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