Networks are telling female employees not to worry unless you're hot (they think she's Kid Rock)

So, former Today host Matt Lauer is considering a return to TV after being fired due to inappropriate sexual behavior. Networks are telling female employees not to worry unless you're hot. —Greg Gutfeld

Comedian Kathy Griffin claims she now is friends with Trump supporters. This is mostly because she's had so much work done they think she's Kid Rock. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Not affected by this recall, Kid Rock (it'll reopen as soon as he's done)

67,000 cases of power stick deodorant are being recalled by order of the FDA. Not affected by this recall, Kid Rock. —Greg Gutfeld

A Seattle judge has closed a local beach for rampant nudity and public sex, and it'll reopen as soon as he's done. —Greg Gutfeld 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Salute to Kid Rock (wild berries, plus sugar, minus wild berries)

Froot Loops cereal has added a new flavor, Wild Berry. People who tried the new flavor say it tastes like “wild berries, plus sugar, minus wild berries." --Conan O’Brien

 The U.S. Postal Service announced that they will release their first scratch-and-sniff stamps. That explains why they’ve canceled their "Salute to Kid Rock." --Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

Did someone say scalping asked Elizabeth Warren? (both major parties need to go/showering)

President Trump says he invited longtime critic Bill Maher to the White House as a favor to his buddy Kid Rock. Kid Rock returned the favor by showering. —Greg Gutfeld 

At the White House Trump and Kid Rock announced they’re going to fight ticket scalping. Did someone say scalping asked Elizabeth Warren. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

they’re specifically targeting Kid Rock for some reason (just don’t mess with our gummies)

“Yeah, a 200 percent tariff on champagne and wine. Americans heard and were, like, ‘You can do whatever you want with wine; just don’t mess with our gummies.’” — Jimmy Fallon

“People buying champagne and wine were, like, ‘What’s next, caviar and truffles?’” — Jimmy Fallon

“President Trump is playing a dangerous game. Nobody wants to attend a Mike’s Hard Lemonade and cheese party, you know what I’m saying?” — Jimmy Fallon

“The E.U. said, ‘Oh, yeah? We’re going to put a 50 percent tariff on boats, bourbon and motorbikes from the United States,’ which is interesting because boats, bourbon and motorbikes — they’re specifically targeting Kid Rock for some reason.” — Jimmy Kimmel

“So get ready to toast the next New Year’s with America’s finest sparkling beverage, Champagne Code Red.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He'll be wearing his formal wife beaters (leaving his house with his most prized possessions)

Kid Rock is scheduled to perform at Donald Trump's inaugural celebration. Because of the occasions historical importance he'll be wearing his formal wife beaters. —Greg Gutfeld                    

Climate Warrior Leo DiCaprio has fled LA on a private jet as the fires continue to rage. He was seen seen leaving his house with his most prized possessions Britney and Amber. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

That explains why they’ve canceled their "Salute to Kid Rock." (or as I can now publicly call myself...)

"I'm Conan O'Brien, or as I can now publicly call myself, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jr." –Conan O'Brien

"Last night at a Texas Ranger game ex-President Bush almost got hit with a foul ball. He vowed revenge on the player, but we all know Obama will be the one to actually get him." –Conan O'Brien

The U.S. Postal Service announced that they will release their first scratch-and-sniff stamps. That explains why they’ve canceled their "Salute to Kid Rock." --Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

there is hope for America’s future after all (I could have used seals?)

At a Ted Cruz rally, a young boy yelled "you suck" at Ted Cruz. In other words, there is hope for America’s future after all. –Conan O’Brien

Donald Trump is implying that Ted Cruz’s father had something to do with the Kennedy assassination. Even worse, Ted Cruz’s father had something to do with Ted Cruz. –Conan O’Brien

"President Obama gave the order for Navy SEALs to kill bin Laden. When President Bush heard about it, he was really upset, saying, 'I could have used seals?'" –Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

which coincidentally is also the title of Kid Rock's new album (Take Eric, he’s the one you want)

Following multiple allegations of sexual harassment, Rep. John Conyers announced today that he would not seek reelection and endorsed his son to replace him in Congress. While President Trump has endorsed his son to replace him in the Russia investigation. “Take Eric, he’s the one you want.” –Seth Meyers

The European Union today threatened to impose tariffs on $20 billion worth of imported U.S. goods, including ketchup, fish, and tractors, which coincidentally is also the title of Kid Rock's new album. --Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Hey Kid Rock, what's your take on inflation? (Just get a reverse mortgage on that!)

In other Trump news, the former president’s lawyers were forced to tell a court on Monday that they can’t find anyone to put up the $454 million bond needed to cover what he owes the state of New York. Gee, I wonder why? Can you imagine that call? – ‘Hi, we represent Donald Trump. We were wondering if you could – hello?’ —Jimmy Kimmel

“Who would’ve ever guessed that a hard-earned reputation for not ever paying your bills would make it difficult to get credit. And what’s the problem, anyway? Didn’t you say Mar-a-Lago is worth $1.8 billion? Just get a reverse mortgage on that!” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Yeah, in an interview Donald Trump said no president’s been treated worse than him. Yeah, even John Wilkes Booth is like, ‘Hold on.’” —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I had more leg room in the womb (Salute to Kid Rock)

The U.S. Postal Service announced that they will release their first scratch-and-sniff stamps. That explains why they’ve canceled their "Salute to Kid Rock." --Conan O’Brien

A sinkhole has opened up on the White House lawn. So apparently, another one of Melania's tunnels collapsed. --Conan O’Brien

"A woman on a Southwest Airlines flight gave birth to a baby. As soon as he was born, the baby said, 'I had more leg room in the womb.'" –Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

which coincidentally is also the title of Kid Rock's new album (Oh, my God. You look amazing)

The European Union today threatened to impose tariffs on

$20 billion worth of imported U.S. goods, including ketchup,

fish, and tractors, which coincidentally is also the title of Kid

Rock's new album. --Seth Meyers

According to a new report, Earth's glaciers have lost 9 trillion metric tons of ice between 1961 and 2016. Said other glaciers, "Oh, my God. You look amazing." --Seth Meyers

It was announced yesterday that Oprah has donated $2 million to Puerto Rico to help with long-term hurricane relief efforts. "That's from both of us," said Stedman. --Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Yeah, then he told the American people to bend over (You actually have to take a bite)

"This is a weird story. President Bush has apologized today for scolding a member of the White House press corps for wearing sunglasses because he found out the reporter is legally blind. Bush also apologized for telling physicist Stephen Hawking 'to get off your lazy a--.'" --Conan O'Brien

The U.S. Postal Service announced that they will release their first scratch-and-sniff stamps. That explains why they’ve canceled their "Salute to Kid Rock." --Conan O’Brien

"Yesterday, after the Dow Jones industrial average dropped over 500 points, President Bush chimed in. This is what he said. He said, 'Adjustments in the financial markets can be difficult.' Yeah, then he told the American people to bend over." --Conan O'Brien

A sinkhole has opened up on the White House lawn. So apparently, another one of Melania's tunnels collapsed. --Conan O’Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Did Kid Rock play Pyongyang and not tell us about it? (they're already paying 97% of our campaign contributions)

May 2022

“The first official report by North Korea of Covid in the country. How did Covid even get into North Korea? Did Kid Rock play Pyongyang and not tell us about it?” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Of course, the truth is, there’s probably been many cases of Covid in North Korea. The country just hasn’t acknowledged them for fear of angering their leader’s mighty scrotum. The news, which state media called ‘a major national emergency’, has prompted a nationwide lockdown. So if you live in North Korea, just keep doing what you’ve been doing for the past 40 years.” —Jimmy Kimmel 

“But today Biden was back in Washington, where he hosted a — co-hosted a virtual Covid summit. The fact that the summit was held virtually pretty much tells you how we’re doing in the fight against Covid.” —Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

which coincidentally is also the title of Kid Rock's new album (“Maybe we should do that,” said New York.)

The Taj Mahal is currently undergoing its first cleaning since its construction in the 1600s. “Maybe we should do that,” said New York. --Seth Meyers

The European Union today threatened to impose tariffs on $20 billion worth of imported U.S. goods, including ketchup, fish, and tractors, which coincidentally is also the title of Kid Rock's new album. --Seth Meyers

Rum maker Bacardi announced yesterday that it is acquiring Patron Spirits for $5.1 billion. And like most Bacardi announcements, it was shouted at 5 a.m. in the back seat of an Uber. --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

because you tore the [expletive] out of your good pants rock-climbing on peyote (Side note here)

July 2021

“During a visit to the White House yesterday, pop star Olivia Rodrigo made a surprise appearance at the afternoon press briefing to help promote youth vaccinations, which should have a big impact on the millions of teens who watch the White House press briefings.” —Seth Meyers

“Side note here — it’s nice to see a real celebrity at the White House after the last four years, when the previous president could only manage to dig up the likes of Ted Nugent or Scott Baio.” —Seth Meyers

“Joe Biden’s got huge celebrities helping him out with an unprecedented nationwide campaign to get Americans vaccinated against a deadly disease, and all Trump could muster was 18 holes with Kid Rock and his flag pants, which look like something you buy for six bucks at a truck stop because you tore the [expletive] out of your good pants rock-climbing on peyote.” —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

A Capitalist's Version of a Moral Dilemma (This is God's way of punishing us)

February 2012

“Kid Rock gave Mitt Romney an endorsement. He also endorsed porn, Jack Daniels, and hepatitis C.” –Jimmy Kimmel

“It's leap day tomorrow. This is God's way of punishing us by making the election year even longer.” –Jay Leno

“Kid Rock has formally endorsed Mitt Romney. Doesn't Kid Rock look like the guy that Mitt Romney's neighborhood watch group would call the cops on?” –Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

So get ready for new director of allergy and infectious disease, Kid Rock (Dr. Joseph Exotic)

“Trump is going to fire Anthony Fauci, the only guy in the room who knows what the hell he’s talking about. And this is how it always happens: he retweets someone saying he should fire somebody, as if he doesn’t have the power to do that, then his staff denies it, then he fires the person anyway, and replaces them with the first guest he sees on Fox News. So get ready for new director of allergy and infectious disease, Kid Rock.” —Stephen Colbert

“If Dr. Fauci wants to keep this job, he’d better find a way to blame the virus on Hunter Biden and quick.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, though, if Trump fired Fauci. I mean I, for one, might enjoy seeing daily updates from Dr. Joseph Exotic.” —Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Will you marry me?/a fair amount of bronzer/Go hog wild, brother!

The House resolution was temporarily stalled over its use of the word “racist,” which Republicans said violated a congressional rule against personally attacking the president. “As opposed to the presidential rule book, which evidently is just a signed headshot of Kid Rock that says, ‘Go hog wild, brother!’” --Stephen Colbert

Trump hurled racist insults at four democratic women of color. It is insulting to these women to even have to defend them from the ridiculous racist accusations. That’s the problem.  Even touching on Trump’s obvious racism gets it on you. Also, a fair amount of bronzer. --Stephen Colbert

Donald Trump’s racist tweet about four Democratic congresswomen of color was the most hateful thing you could ever say to an immigrant other than, “Will you marry me?”--Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Good luck rehabbing that thing Lucifer (Guess who will pay it back?)

Donald Trump is not playing he said it again today that he does not want an America of low-skilled immigrants and Melania said, “Fuck you too.” --Bill Maher

The European Union today threatened to impose tariffs on $20 billion worth of imported U.S. goods, including ketchup, fish, and tractors, which coincidentally is also the title of Kid Rock's new album. --Seth Meyers

The Mueller Report was originally supposed to be released on Tuesday, but the Justice Department delayed it without explanation. I have a feeling that they are hoping to bury it over the holiday weekend. Because if there’s one thing Easter is famous for, it’s things staying buried. --Stephen Colbert

Stephen Colbert as Donald Trump, “I only have one deal in life and that’s with the devil. I got the presidency. He got my soul. What a sucker. Good luck rehabbing that thing Lucifer.  Complete teardown. Built on swampland.” --Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”