A robot has been taught how to write rap songs by being fed more than 6,000 Kanye West lyrics. The problem is, now the robot thinks it’s God. –Conan O’Brien
In Wisconsin, a child’s trick-or-treat bag was found to contain meth. On the plus side, the kid did manage to hit 19 houses in under two minutes. –Conan O’Brien
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
Let's get to some news. Today, guys, President Trump met with Kanye West at the White House. Incredible. If you would've told me 10 years ago that Trump and Kanye would be meeting at the White House, I would've said, "Oh, my God, Kanye becomes President?" --Jimmy Fallon
A tech blogger in California used a weather balloon to drop an iPhone from the edge of space, at 100,000 feet in the air, to see what would happen — and still, somehow the phone landed in the guy’s toilet. –Jimmy Fallon
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
President Trump just gave an interview where he appeared to confuse Kim Jong Un with his father, Kim Jong Il. It got worse when Trump was like, “Which one’s married to Kanye?” –Jimmy Fallon
"Dick Cheney is having surgery today to relieve his lower back pain. And do you know how they administered the anesthesia? They just shot it right in his face." --Jimmy Fallon
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
There’s a proposed bill in New York that would allow medical marijuana to be prescribed for menstrual cramps. Which is why millions of men in New York are now saying "it is my time of the month." –Conan O’Brien
In a new interview, Kanye West talks about being bipolar. Kanye said sometimes he loves himself but other times, he really loves himself. --Conan O’Brien
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
Well, the Catholic Church has elected the first-ever pope from America, and as an American Catholic, I could not be more proud, which is a sin, and now I'm ashamed. —Colin Jost
This pick was actually a welcomed surprise for me, because when I heard the pope was a super-religious guy from Chicago in a funny robe, I was worried it was Kanye. —Colin Jost
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
There is speculation that the next pope could come from Africa, which would mean he'd have to travel over Colin Jost’s dead body. —Michael Che
Ye is accusing a Beverly Hills dentist of getting him addicted to nitrous oxide, which caused him extreme mental distress. The dentist apologized, saying he didn't realize he had the tank set to Nazi. —Michael Che
This week marks the anniversary of the end of the war in Vietnam. Also turning 50, a lot of half-white Vietnamese kids. —Michael Che
The US has announced a new series of $50 coins featuring Superheroes like Batman and Superman. So better luck next time Harriet Tub-Man. —Michael Che
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
Tesla is reportedly having trouble selling Cybertrucks, partly due to its slogan, Cybertruck -- what if Kanye was a car? —Colin Jost
A new fashion trend for women are nap dresses, part of a larger trend called clinical depression. —Colin Jost
A group is asking New Jersey Transit to make commutes more joyful by putting googly eyes on the front of trains. So at least you'll see a friendly face coming to help when you're pushed on the tracks. —Colin Jost
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
But we're not just tired today, we're also distracted because the NCAA College Basketball Championship bracket is set. Yes, it's time for March Madness! Or as Kanye West calls it, March. –James Corden
A headline in The Metro reads, “Naked Man Crashes Car Then Leads Police On Bizzare Nude Foot Chase.” That was their headline. The real headline should have read, “Rude Dude Escapes In The Nude.” --James Corden
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
Donald Trump Jr. is reportedly considering a run for president in 2028. And if you don't think he could win, you clearly aren't familiar with how things work here in hell. —Colin Jost
Experts say that President Trump's tariffs will raise the cost of a new car by as much as $12,000. Or you can get a free Tesla since people are throwing them away. —Colin Jost
Speaking of which, Tesla CEO and white Kanye Elon Musk wore a suit instead of a jacket and t shirt to this week’s cabinet meeting after President Trump made fun of his clothing. It's a refreshing reminder that bullying still works. —Colin Jost
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
President Trump also suggested taking over Gaza. His first project, opening a gentleman's club called the Gaza Strip. —Greg Gutfeld
Democrats have already filed new impeachment articles against Trump over his proposed plan in Gaza. Well there goes their free lap dances at the Gaza Strip. —Greg Gutfeld
President Trump's proposed budget bill will feature roughly $1 trillion dollars worth of spending cuts. But this is nice, he's leaving in a few extra bucks to buy some clothes for Kanye’s wife. —Greg Gutfeld
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
Gen Z gun control activist David Hogg has been elected as Vice Chair of the DNC. In the next five years his goals are to get rid of ICE, the NRA and his virginity. —Greg Gutfeld
Kanye West's wife Bianca Censori appeared in a see-through outfit at the Grammys making viewers grateful that West isn't married to Hillary Clinton. —Greg Gutfeld
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
"Computer technicians in Washington say they have found 22
million missing emails from President George W. Bush's
Administration. And you can tell the emails are from the Bush
Administration because they all begin, 'Dear Santa.'"
–Conan O'Brien
"Anyone see that Hurricane Sandy concert? Kanye West
performed while wearing a leather skirt. So now they're having
a benefit concert for people who had to see that."
–Conan O'Brien
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
Kim and Kanye’s 2-year-old daughter North has released her first tweet. It was just three letters, "SOS." –Conan O’Brien
Researchers at Cornell have successfully bred the first puppies in a test tube. Which is great, because we all know how much dogs hate doin' it. –Conan O’Brien
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
Let's get to some news. Today, guys, President Trump met with Kanye West at the White House. Incredible. If you would've told me 10 years ago that Trump and Kanye would be meeting at the White House, I would've said, "Oh, my God, Kanye becomes President?" --Jimmy Fallon
Get this -- a cheating scandal has rocked the world of wine tasting. That's right. It has rocked the world of wine tasting. A cheating scandal came out that some tasters were given the answers to an exam. The wine tasters say that they are embarrassed, a little humiliated, and there's a hint of shame. --Jimmy Fallon
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
Kanye West said that Kim Kardashian is actually enrolled in law school. When he found out, President Trump said, "I want to change my Supreme Court nominee. Can we do that now? Is it too late?" --Jimmy Fallon
"Vice President Dick Cheney had a closed door meeting with House Republicans to discuss foreign policy issues. He wanted to sit down with them and have a real heart to…whatever is in there at this point." –Jimmy Fallon
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
A federal regulation is now requiring that airports serving over 10,000 passengers per year have an area in every terminal where pets can go to the bathroom. Or as it's called in LaGuardia, all of LaGuardia. –Jimmy Fallon
Last night, Rudy Giuliani went on Fox News and revealed that Trump knew about and paid for Stormy Daniels’ hush money. Even Kanye was like, “You should probably stop talking.” --Jimmy Fallon
"Toronto Mayor Rob Ford announced today that he is checking into rehab. He said he entered rehab this week to deal with the problem swiftly — and also because Monday is Cinco de Mayo, and he ain't missing that." –Jimmy Fallon
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
Burger King has merged a Whopper with a burrito to make a Whopperito. So take note, Donald Trump: THAT’S how you Make America Great Again! –Conan O’Brien
A new report came out and it says that Donald Trump once shifted charitable donations for sick kids into his own business. Trump referred to the charity as the "Take a Wish Foundation." –Conan O’Brien
In a new interview, Kanye West talks about being bipolar. Kanye said sometimes he loves himself but other times, he really loves himself. --Conan O’Brien
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
But Trump's been busy this morning. He published a "USA Today" op-ed about healthcare. A lot of people are saying it had several factual errors. Turns out a pharmacist isn't someone who works on a farm. And shingles isn't a tube of potato chips. That's not -- He got that wrong. --Jimmy Fallon
Let's get to some news. Today, guys, President Trump met with Kanye West at the White House. Incredible. If you would've told me 10 years ago that Trump and Kanye would be meeting at the White House, I would've said, "Oh, my God, Kanye becomes President?" --Jimmy Fallon
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
You guys see this? During his meeting in the Oval Office, Kanye took out his cellphone and you could actually see his pass code when he typed it in. Watch this. 0-0-0-0-0-0. Then Trump said, "Hey, that's the same pass code I use for the nuclear codes." --Jimmy Fallon
I'm very excited about this. There's another new episode of "Game of Thrones" this weekend. I read that the show set a record by using 4,000 gallons of fake blood. Even crazier, the previous record holder? "Golden Girls." --Jimmy Fallon
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
