Unfortunately, the study was conducted on the F train (Strategic, Honorable, and Interesting Tactics)

The CEO of BMW fainted onstage at the Frankfurt auto show this week. And in classic BMW fashion, he fainted across two parking spaces. –Seth Meyers

A new study has found that 8 percent of Americans sleep naked. Unfortunately, the study was conducted on the F train. –Seth Meyers

Because the FEC does not let candidate names appear in the title of a Super PAC, Carly Fiorina’s organization has started claiming its name CARLY for America is an acronym that stands for Conservative, Authentic, Responsive Leadership for You and for America. And I think that shows her campaign is full of Strategic, Honorable, and Interesting Tactics. –Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

you’re one step closer to having the worst job in the world (68 more and you can run for president)

“The rudderless Republicans in Congress have moved tantalizingly close to doing the bare minimum, as they chose Steve Scalise to be the nominee to possibly then be speaker of the House. Congratulations Steve, you’re one step closer to having the worst job in the world, just one wrung below emptying Porta Potties at a chili cook-off.” —Stephen Colbert

“George Santos, who might be the lying-est liar lying in Congress and now faces 10 new federal fraud charges including wire fraud, aggravated identity theft and false statements to the Federal Election Commission. Let me just say: thank you, George Santos. It’s been a really tough week in the news, and we needed a treat. The bitch is back for a squeakquel and I am here for it. The new charges brings the total number of counts against him to 23. Congratulations, George, 68 more and you can run for president.” —Stephen Colbert

“Steve Scalise may be the GOP nominee for speaker of the House, but it’s still unclear, though, if he has enough votes to win the speakership. Because that would require Republicans to accept the result of an election, and that’s really not their thing. If you see white smoke coming from the Capitol rotunda, it means they either picked a new speaker or Lauren Boebert is vaping again.” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

This is the worst matchup for an interview since they sent that honey glazed ham to interview Chris Christie (placebo group)

Last night, the Federal Election Commission announced how

much cash each campaign has on hand. And Hillary Clinton is

burying Donald Trump $42 million to $1.3 million. I always

knew those huge skyscrapers were overcompensating for

something in his pants. I just never imagined it was his

wallet. –Stephen Colbert

Roy Moore's campaign just got worse because yesterday we found out that a pro-Trump group sent a 12 year old girl to interview Moore. This is the worst matchup for an interview since they sent that honey glazed ham to interview Chris Christie. –Stephen Colbert

"If you are a multimillionaire entertainer supporting the candidacy of a wealthy financier from Massachusetts, you might no longer be a redneck." –Stephen Colbert on Jeff Foxworthy campaigning with Mitt Romney

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

The full spectrum … they’ve got eggshell, vanilla, Band-Aid, Band-Aid with glasses, everything (he had to swear in on two Bibles and a Torah)

January 2023

“Sean Hannity praised, in an interview with House GOP members, ‘more diversity in the Republican party’. Absolutely, just look at the Republican rainbow of inclusion, [Colbert said of Hannity’s all-white audience of Republican lawmakers]. The full spectrum … they’ve got eggshell, vanilla, Band-Aid, Band-Aid with glasses, everything.” —Stephen Colbert

“Newly elected New York congressman George Santos, who has a long history of stretching the truth – by never telling it. Among numerous exposed fabrications, a new complaint filed with the Federal Election Commission accuses Santos of extensive lies about campaign finances. The complaint alleges Santos loaned $705,000 of his own money to his campaign, even though 2020 records indicate he only had a fortune of $55,000. Fair enough, but what about all of his other names, because up until he ran for Congress, Santos used the aliases Anthony Zabrovsky and Anthony Devolder. He has so many aliases, he had to swear in on two Bibles and a Torah.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

But for a minute, you had hope. You're welcome! (How's your diet going?)

And today, temperatures are expected to reach 127 degrees in Death Valley. But, it’s a dry death. –Stephen Colbert

Last night, the Federal Election Commission announced how much cash each campaign has on hand. And Hillary Clinton is burying Donald Trump $42 million to $1.3 million. I always knew those huge skyscrapers were overcompensating for something in his pants. I just never imagined it was his wallet. –Stephen Colbert

I've got good news, and I've got bad news. The bad news is I lied: There's no good news. But for a minute, you had hope. You're welcome! --Stephen Colbert

It's hard to believe that there are only seven months left in the Obama presidency. You never know how much you're going to miss a guy until you see the options. –Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

overcompensating for something in his pants (Veronica Mars)

Last night, the Federal Election Commission announced how much cash each campaign has on hand. And Hillary Clinton is burying Donald Trump $42 million to $1.3 million. I always knew those huge skyscrapers were overcompensating for something in his pants. I just never imagined it was his wallet. –Stephen Colbert

$1.3 million isn't even enough to afford a one-bedroom apartment in Trump's own building. Not that he would want it. I hear the landlord is a jerk. –Stephen Colbert

How could Trump have less cash on hand than the "Veronica Mars" movie raised on Kickstarter? That right there is the kind of mystery only Veronica Mars could solve. –Stephen Colbert

Strategic, Honorable, and Interesting Tactics.

Because the FEC does not let candidate names appear in the title of a Super PAC, Carly Fiorina’s organization has started claiming its name CARLY for America is an acronym that stands for Conservative, Authentic, Responsive Leadership for You and for America. And I think that shows her campaign is full of Strategic, Honorable, and Interesting Tactics. –Seth Meyers

Lawyers for Guantanamo Bay prisoner Muhammad Rahim al-Afghani have revealed that he used to have an Ashley Madison account. He was already gittin’ some but he wanted to Gitmo. –Seth Meyers

It’s a very classy book-fence!

Today Trump went to Texas to visit the border between the U.S. and Mexico. And when he got there, other Republicans pushed him over the border and went, “Your problem now! You gotta deal with this guy! He's on your side!” –Jimmy Fallon

The FEC released Donald Trump’s financial disclosure yesterday, and it revealed that he received royalties of less than 200 dollars for most of his books. The bad news is, the books aren’t selling; but the GOOD news is – looks like he’s got something to build that Mexican fence with! “It’s a very classy book-fence!” –Jimmy Fallon