So, everyone is suffering (he's kind of a bummer to hang out with)

"This is reported to be the 12th time Harold Camping has predicted the end of the world, the first time being in 1978. Not only is he bad at predicting things but he's kind of a bummer to hang out with." –Jimmy Kimmel

"National parks are shut down. NASA is shut down. There is one government building still open. That is the congressional gym – the exclusive gym where congressmen work out. But the gym is not fully operational because towel service is no longer available due to the shutdown. So, everyone is suffering." –Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Unfortunately, it's only in rats (They can finally stop landing planes using Google Maps)

And finally, an experimental serum could reverse baldness within 20 days. Unfortunately, it's only in rats. —Greg Gutfeld

“Last night, after 43 days, President Trump signed a bill to end the longest government shutdown in history. Yes. Over. It was a special moment. Air traffic controllers at Newark popped open a few bottles of champagne and then they found out the shutdown had ended. Pilots are thrilled. They can finally stop landing planes using Google Maps.” — Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It’s was like a whole stadium full of Melanias (This was such a big cave by the Democrats that Bruce Wayne offered to buy it)

“The democrats are caving on the government shutdown. This was such a big cave by the Democrats that Bruce Wayne offered to buy it.” — Jimmy Kimmel

“President Trump got booed while attending the Washington Commanders football game. Do you think he can hear the boos or does the narcissism force field block it all out?” — Jimmy Kimmel

“It’s was like a whole stadium full of Melanias.” — Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

just because they’re cutting off your food and want to cut off your health insurance, that doesn’t mean they don’t care (Trust Me)

The government shutdown, now the longest in US history is at 37 days. Trump has been desperately trying to convince anyone who will listen that Democrats are responsible for the shutdown and that it has nothing to do with him trying to hide the Epstein files. The gaslighting has reached a fever pitch, as Trump cuts off the supply of food to children, families, senior citizens, etc.

The Republican House speaker, Mike Johnson, wants you to know: just because they’re cutting off your food and want to cut off your health insurance, that doesn’t mean they don’t care.

As Johnson told reporters: “Every hardworking American in any place that’s missed a paycheck, anyone who has been made to suffer … anyone who is hurting, you have a home in the Republican party.”

Yes, you have a home in the Republican party! You’ll be living under the stairs like Harry Potter and you’re not allowed in the fridge, but you do have a home. —Jimmy Kimmel

The government shutdown, is now the longest in US history at 38 days. The shutdown has already wreaked havoc on air travel, and that havoc is about to get even reekier, as air traffic controllers aren’t being paid and many aren’t showing up to work. So many, in fact, that the Federal Aviation Administration has directed airlines to cut 10% of their flights at the busiest airports. So unfortunately it may be time to try your new favorite airline: the bus. If you’re traveling for Thanksgiving, you might want to leave now. —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Pretty sure they just want internet censorship (when the warranty on her face runs out)

 The ongoing government shutdown means TSA employees haven't been paid in 36 days. Yeah. So now they're just groping you for tips. —Greg Gutfeld   

Nancy Pelosi announced she will not seek re-election to Congress in 2026, which which coincidentally is when the warranty on her face runs out. —Greg Gutfeld 

Nancy Pelosi announced she wouldn't seek reelection, saying the Democrats need new blood. That was before adding that she also needs new blood. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

I know a few rest homes with plenty of vacancy (tramp stamps)

You could tell Andrew Cuomo's depressed about his humiliating loss to Mamdani. You know, maybe it's time for him to retire. I know a few rest homes with plenty of vacancy. —Greg Gutfeld 

The government shutdown has entered its 36th day, breaking the record as the longest ever. Things have gotten so bad, people are trying to buy food with their tramp stamps. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

How many republicans does it take to change a light bulb? (I'm happy that the floor looks slippery)

Japan's new prime minister, Sanae Takaichi, said during a press conference that she is nominating President Trump for the Nobel Peace Prize. And I can't believe I get to say this, but thank God nobody listens to women. —Michael Che     

Critics of President Trump are calling him tone-deaf for posting pictures of his newly renovated White House bathroom during the government shutdown. But I'm happy that the floor looks slippery. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Easy Big Fella, all I did was ask your name (It felt like the last big bash before the Epstein files come out)

“There are so many bad parts of a government shutdown, but the worst so far is that as of this weekend, nearly 42 million Americans have lost their food stamp benefits. No one should understand the importance of daily meals more than Donald Trump. Hungry is his favorite emotion. It’s his whole thing – Trump and food is like JFK and sex, or Thomas Jefferson and sex, or Lincoln and his hat, which he had sex with.” —Stephen Colbert

Trump’s “disapproval rating” is 63%. And what do you do when you have a terrible approval rating? You throw the most ill-timed, tone-deaf Halloween party imaginable, A Great Gatsby party. You know, throwing a party at your private golf club where the theme is rich white people hours before millions of Americans are set to lose their food assistance might be the Trumpiest Trump move of all time. It felt like the last big bash before the Epstein files come out. —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Is it … is it with his neck? (capitalism runs on blood)

“Republicans are refusing to cut a deal with the Democrats to fund health care, and they’re also refusing to do other parts of their job, like swearing in Representative-elect Adelita Grijalva, who won a special election in Arizona almost a month ago. Speaker Mike Johnson says he won’t swear her in until the House is back in session, after the government shutdown ends. Nope! Those two things have nothing to do with each other. That’s like saying, ‘Hey, man, I’d love to come to your child’s clarinet recital, but, ya know, Toyotathon.’” — Stephen Colbert

“Today we got a hum-doozy of a dinger because the R.N.C. chair spilled on the wild way Trump eats his McDonald’s order. So — not by mouth? Is it … is it with his neck?” — Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

And that’s why they call him the peace president (I think he won that one/I have the best words)

There’s no end in sight for the government shutdown, which entered its 15th day on Wednesday. President Trump had been doing his part to bring the two sides together. But a social media post from Trump called the Democrats ‘the party of hate, evil and Satan.’ Hate, evil and Satan. And that’s why they call him the peace president.” — Jimmy Kimmel

“Only four shutdowns have gone longer than this one, the longest being a two-month stoppage in 2018, when Trump shut the government down until they brought back the McRib or something. I think he won that one. “— Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

But the good news is Congress is still getting paid (10 percent)

"To be honest, I didn't notice the government was shut down today. But the 800,000 government employees who had their hours cut or jobs taken away definitely did. But the good news is Congress is still getting paid." –Jimmy Kimmel

"A CNN poll showed that the Congress approval rating is down to 10 percent. That still doesn't seem low enough. Do one out of 10 people really approve of the job Congress is doing? And who are these people? I want to work for them." –Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

This is the kind of thing that could damage their 10 percent approval rating (Fixed this for you)

"People are saying now that before the government shutdown congressmen went out and got drunk – celebrating that they had shut down the government. This is the kind of thing that could damage their 10 percent approval rating." –David Letterman

"A few weeks ago President Obama was riding in an elevator, and it turns out a guy on the elevator had a gun. This is pretty scary stuff. Not as scary as riding in an elevator with Ray Rice, but still scary." –David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

One small silencing at a time (Release the Epstein files)

“At this point, finding a toenail in your salad has a seven-point lead over Donald Trump.” — Jimmy Kimmel

“If he’s looking to improve his approval numbers, I have an idea: Release the Epstein files.” — Jimmy Kimmel

“If the government shutdown lasts much longer soon when we fly we will have the same number of air traffic controllers the Wright brothers had.” — Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

You've just imagined every major country except the United States (Complete obliteration)

It's day six of the government shutdown. Which means they're no longer paying the nice young man who cuts Joe Biden's food. —Tyrus

When Jake Tapper texted President Trump and asked him what happens if Hamas insists on staying in power, Trump responded, "Complete obliteration”, which is what Kamala said when Jake asked her what she was doing Friday night. — Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I meant I'm pro-MY-life (Leap of Faith Sushi)

In Pennsylvania, a pro-life republican congressman is accused of asking his mistress to get an abortion so his wife wouldn't find out about his affair. He defended himself saying, "Hey, when I said I'm pro-life, I meant I'm pro-MY-life." –Conan O’Brien

"The government shutdown is going to slash the budget for food inspection. That is bad news for health advocates, but great news for the new Japanese restaurant – Leap of Faith Sushi." –Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

When did things start to go wrong (ratings gold)

The Democrats were mocked after their government shutdown live stream only attracted 400 viewers, or as CNN calls it, ratings gold. — Greg Gutfeld

Kamala Harris said she asked Bill and Hillary Clinton for running mate advice before choosing Tim Walz. They reminded her wisely that the best safeguard against assassination is a VP who's an idiot. — Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

to raise some extra cash, the Secret Service is using Joe Biden’s hearse as an Uber (US military presence in the Middle East)

“The government shutdown is taking its toll. It’s so bad that Jerry Nadler had to cut back on his diaper service, Hakeem Jeffries had to pawn his sombreros, paychecks are no longer being sent to Rashida Tlaib’s team of electrologists and, since there is no funding, they just repossessed the thing on top of Maxine Waters’ head.” — Greg Gutfeld

“But this is nice — to raise some extra cash, the Secret Service is using Joe Biden’s hearse as an Uber.” — Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

How about for each day of the shutdown, they release one name from the Epstein list? (the Grey’s Anatomy’of government shutdowns)

“Well, guys, after Congress failed to reach a spending deal, the government shut down for the first time since 2018. Yeah, as a result, all nonessential government workers will be sent home without pay. Today, President Trump looked at JD Vance and said, ‘[imitating Trump] JD, I’ll see you in a couple of weeks.’” — Jimmy Fallon

Thursday marked the second day of the government shutdown. No one has any idea how long it will last. People are calling it the ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ of government shutdowns. —Jimmy Fallon

“If this does last awhile, I think they should at least make it fun for the rest of us, right? I mean, how about for each day of the shutdown, they release one name from the Epstein list?” — Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Things are so rough, Uncle Sam is already selling feet pics (I got your back)

“But you know what? Maybe this is a good thing, you know? The government hasn’t been working that great lately. Who knows why? Maybe — maybe somebody got the government wet, you know? Let’s unplug it for a while, plug it back in, see if it reboots. If that doesn’t work, maybe toss it in a bag of rice. Leave it there for a couple hours. If that doesn’t work, we’ll just throw it away and buy a new one with a better camera and a functioning president.” — Stephen Colbert

“Services are closed, federal workers are going without pay. Things are so rough, Uncle Sam is already selling feet pics.” — Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

That’s what GoFundMe is for (cross it deliberately)

The U.S. government shutdown for the first time since 2018 on Wednesday. I thought the worst thing that could happen this week was when Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban broke up. If two hot Australians with the same face can’t make it work, then what hope is there for the rest of us?” — Ronny Chieng

“Look, this is the classic dispute between the parties. Democrats say that the government should help pay for health care, and Republicans say, ‘That’s what GoFundMe is for.’” — Ronny Chieng

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”