Usually to produce a blast of that magnitude (solidarity is a verb)

A massive blast at a Chevron refinery in California produced enormous flames visible for miles. Usually to produce a blast of that magnitude, you'd have to pull Jerry Nadler’s finger. — Greg Gutfeld 

On October 5th, 1,200 people will run the International Taco Bell Ultra Marathon, where competitors stop and eat at nine Taco Bells. Nice. Or you could just stay home and s*** in your pants on a treadmill. — Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

to raise some extra cash, the Secret Service is using Joe Biden’s hearse as an Uber (US military presence in the Middle East)

“The government shutdown is taking its toll. It’s so bad that Jerry Nadler had to cut back on his diaper service, Hakeem Jeffries had to pawn his sombreros, paychecks are no longer being sent to Rashida Tlaib’s team of electrologists and, since there is no funding, they just repossessed the thing on top of Maxine Waters’ head.” — Greg Gutfeld

“But this is nice — to raise some extra cash, the Secret Service is using Joe Biden’s hearse as an Uber.” — Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I have to get back to you on this one (blue dress)

So, it's official. The UFC will host the first ever White House fight on July 4th. Yeah. It's the first violent beatdown to take place at the White House since Hillary discovered the blue dress. —Greg Gutfeld

Meanwhile, the Democrats also want to participate. And so far, they've already suggested these bouts. Jasmine Crockett versus a book. Jerry Nadler versus soap. Rashida Tlaib versus a razor. And JB Pritzker versus a narrow hallway. —Greg Gutfeld 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

there's HOW many people in WHAT (feet picks on Only Fans)

DNC is so broke it's ready to post feet picks on Only Fans because donors are avoiding them like Hunter Biden avoids child support. —Greg Gutfeld

Next week's heatwave is expected to smash dozens of records in New York, Philly and Chicago. In fact, Illinois Governor JB Pritzker has already declared his crotch a disaster area. And in New York Jerry Nadler has already tested positive for chafing. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I am an activist nurse (whatever you do don't ask about the Magic Johnson)

An ex-girlfriend of Sean Diddy Combs testified they would use the names of famous NBA players as codes for sex acts. Yeah, so whatever you do don't ask about the Magic Johnson. —Greg Gutfeld

Soap made out of actress Sydney Sweeney's bathwater is being resold online for as much as $1,600. Meanwhile Joy Behar's bathwater is replacing tear gas to disperse angry rioters. —Greg Gutfeld

Republicans beat the Democrats in the congressional baseball game by a score of 13-2. The game was almost cancelled when Congresswoman Rashida Talib suggested they play shirts against skins. But the game ended up being delayed when someone mistook Nancy Pelosi's face for a catcher's mitt. The game had to be stopped at the second inning when Jerry Nadler started grazing on the outfield grass. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

That's one Dick down 44 to go (Good luck carrying me out)

Democrat Senator Dick Durban announced that he will not seek re-election in 2026. That's one dick down 44 to go. —Greg Gutfeld

The 80-year-old Durban urged other elderly lawmakers to follow his lead and retire before they have to be carried out. “Good luck carrying me out," said Jerry Nadler. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

an apparent insult directed at Nancy Pelosi (purple shart)

So last night Democrat senator Cory Booker broke the record for the longest Senate speech in history. Cory Booker didn't take any bathroom breaks and he denies using diapers or catheters, an apparent insult directed at Nancy Pelosi. —Greg Gutfeld

But Jerry Nadler was so impressed with Booker's continence, he awarded him a purple shart. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It seems as foreign as the men I hire to cradle me while I nap (getting stoned together in Budapest)

Chipotle is giving away $1 million worth of buy 1 get one free burritos. In a related story Jerry Nadler's dry cleaner committed suicide. —Greg Gutfeld

According to Variety movie theaters are contemplating letting people smoke pot and text while enjoying a movie. And why is that? Well these days theaters are as empty as Kamala's medicine cabinet. True, it's never really recovered from Covid and the idea of sitting with strangers to watch a movie, well it seems as foreign as the men I hire to cradle me while I nap. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Wow that's almost a third (emptier than Jerry Nadler's colon after Cinco de Mayo)

The Trump Administration said 50% of the Department of Education staff will be eliminated, shocking the staff who exclaimed exclaimed, ‘Wow that's almost a third.’ —Greg Gutfeld

So as DOGE shines the light, the roaches run in fright. This week a senior official at USAID ordered her troops, or what's left of them, to destroy all their documents at the Ronald Reagan Building in DC. That way their files will be emptier than Jerry Nadler's colon after Cinco de Mayo. —Greg Gutfeld

The high school runner who hit her opponent on the head with a baton faces assault and battery charges, but claims it was all an accident. She actually meant to shoot her. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

In a related story Bill Clinton just booked a flight on Southwest (two landing strips)

A Southwest Airlines flight had to return to the gate after a female passenger stripped naked and raced up and down the aisle. In a related story Bill Clinton just booked a flight on Southwest. —Greg Gutfeld

The naked woman ran around on the flight for 25 minutes. It confused many of the passengers who ended up seeing two landing strips that day. —Greg Gutfeld

Meanwhile an Air India flight was forced to return to the US because of clogged toilets. Sorry about that, said Jerry Nadler. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It's true, the dem's got less to look forward to than the toilet at... (when they swarm a disabled food truck)

It's a bad time to be a Democrat, everywhere you look they find reminders of how much they suck. On Tuesday night the relentless swirl of good news reminded them of how useless and incompetent they are and how do they act? I’ve seen better behavior from The View when they swarm a disabled food truck. —Greg Gutfeld

Boy do the democrats hate good news and they hate it even more because the American people love it. It's almost as if they hate the American people for appreciating a better life. It's true, the dem's got less to look forward to than the toilet at Jerry Nadler’s apartment. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Well there goes Joe Biden (#anythingtosay)

Two flyers on a Southwest Airlines flight were thrilled to learn they were the only passengers on the flight. Their joy wore off when they realized the plane was empty because Jerry Nadler had just used the inflight bathroom. —Greg Gutfeld

Elon Musk defended his email demanding federal workers report their accomplishments saying anyone with a heartbeat could complete it. Well there goes Joe Biden. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The stains (next of kin)

At a recent pressor President Trump started listing the most insane examples of government spending. The most egregious one of course was the six figures spent to have Jerry Nadler's pants let out. It still didn't work. The stains. —Greg Gutfeld

Australian Wildlife officials have decided to euthanize dozens of whales that were stranded on a beach. And today in fact, they had the difficult task of informing the whales next of kin on The View. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

Daddy I didn't know hippos could talk (the difference between master and beginner)

Elon Musk's four-year-old was mocked by The View over his name, prompting Musk’s child to exclaim, Daddy I didn't know hippos could talk. —Greg Gutfeld

NASA says an asteroids odds to hit the Earth by the year 2032 are up by 2.3%. Meanwhile the odds of Jerry Nadler hitting the toilet bowl are zero, —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I get obliterated every night (the color of our oppression)

President Trump has given orders to obliterate Iran if the regime assassinates him. Big deal, I get obliterated every night said Kamala Harris. —Greg Gutfeld

President Trump’s next executive action might be to get rid of the Department of Education. No wonder the Democrats are panicking like Jerry Nadler just used their only bathroom. Since the Education Department's inception, reading and math scores have been dropping faster than Bill Cosby's dates after their first cocktail. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I welcome all 12 of you (curry clam soup)

It’s been 14 days since the democrats had to face the truth. They stink worse than the capitals mens room after Jerry Nadler’s lunch of curry clam soup. —Greg Gutfeld

So democrats need to ask themselves where did they get their information. Did they get their information from the people that gave them Trump hoaxes as well as polls that showed had Kamala Harris fans wasting money on champagne when they should have been buying Prozac in bulk. —Greg Gutfeld

If you are tired of being deceived by the mainstream media, you are off to a great start by watching this show. We have gained all of Lawrence O’Donnell’s former viewers, and I welcome all 12 of you. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Chicken Soup for When You’ve Sold Your Soul (three years is really enough)

“During Thursday’s arguments, House Democrats stuck to the basics, such as: what is crime? Congressman Jerry Nadler, for example, introduced the ABCs of high crimes and misdemeanors: ‘Abuse of power; betrayal of the nation, particularly through foreign entanglements; and corruption, particularly corruption of elections.’ It’s catchy, but here’s my spin: The impeachment one, two threes: Trump never won the popular vote, he’s too corrupt to have the job and three years is really enough.” —Stephen Colbert

“By law, senators are supposed to sit quietly and pay attention, but today, according to reporters in the gallery, Senator Burr has a fidget spinner, Rand Paul has quite the sketch of the Capitol going, and Marsha Blackburn is reading a book. That book? ‘Chicken Soup for When You’ve Sold Your Soul.’” —Stephen Colbert

“The trial did not end until almost 10 p.m. last night, but Democratic senator Dianne Feinstein walked out of the Senate chamber at 8:45. She said good night to two reporters standing nearby and left the Capitol. Well, that’s a bold new take on the Democrats’ battle cry: When they go low, we go home.” —Stephen Colbert

“But you know, if senators are looking for things to do without their phones, we’ve created an activity book they can play, called ‘101 Fun Things to Do in the Senate Other Than Pay Attention to Impeachment.’ It’s loaded with puzzles, like ‘Getting money to Ukraine through the maze of corruption,’ ‘Spot six differences between these two impeachments,’ and if those two are too hard, ‘Connect-one-dot.’” —Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

And in the silence, you can hear the thoughts (a lot of incriminating kale chips)

“[As Trump]This is true — I look very strongly at all elements of bathrooms,
for hours every day. All of them. Sinks, showers — everything but the scale.”
--Stephen Colbert

“I’ve never seen the president this mournful. [As Trump] 

‘The water comes very quietly dripping out. And then, the silence. 

And in the silence, you can hear the thoughts.’” --Stephen Colbert

“Democrat Jerry Nadler said that a jury would convict President Trump
in, quote, ‘three minutes flat.’ Or in other words, the same amount of time
Trump spends flushing a toilet.” --Jimmy Fallon

“They haven’t drafted the articles of impeachment yet, but Democrats
say Trump’s impeachable offenses include abuses of power through
self-dealing, betrayal of national security in the service of foreign
interests, and corruption of our elections that undermine our
democratic system. Or as Trump put it, [Trump in a clip] ‘promises
made, promises kept.’” --Stephen Colbert

“Castor’s demeanor throughout this whole thing was that of a guy who knew
he was fighting a losing battle. In fact, instead of keeping his documents in
a briefcase or cardboard boxes like most lawyers, he showed up to the hearing
this morning with his papers in a grocery store tote bag. I mean, look at that
— it’s like he forgot about the hearing until the last minute and had to find
whatever was lying around his house. I bet there was only one piece of paper
at the top of that bag and the rest of it was just organic produce.”
--Seth Meyers, on the Republicans’ lawyer, Stephen R. Castor

“Is it a good sign when your lawyer’s briefcase is a grocery sack?”
--Jimmy Kimmel

“He had notebooks in there and a lot of incriminating kale chips.”
--Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

So they’ve narrowed the problem to things he’s done (Trust Revoked)

Today brought President Trump a new reason to freak out, when House Judiciary chairman Jerry Nadler announced a sweeping investigation into President Trump’s campaign, businesses, transition and administration. So they’ve narrowed the problem to things he’s done. --Stephen Colbert

And the House democrats aren’t messing around. They’ve sent document requests to 81 people and entities, including the Trump campaign, the Trump Foundation, the Trump Organization, the Trump Transition, and something called the Donald J. Trump Revocable Trust. Well, I think it’s safe to say, Trust Revoked. --Stephen Colbert

Trump’s bad week really got into gear with the House Oversight Committee’s hearing for former Trump lawyer and kid being told by his parents that the divorce IS his fault, Michael Cohen. --Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”