The good news is, he just got an offer to be the spokesman for Jell-O pudding (everyone on stage would be nude start to finish)

We are 25 days away from the election and Donald Trump is burning up like a meteor entering the atmosphere. Five women have come forward this week to claim he behaved inappropriately with them, touching, etc., including a reporter from People magazine and former pageant winner. Which is very bad news for his campaign. The good news is, he just got an offer to be the spokesman for Jell-O pudding. –Jimmy Kimmel

Yesterday, the NFL announced that Justin Timberlake is going to do the Super Bowl halftime show. This will be his first Super Bowl halftime performance since 2004 when he was part of the Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction. Remember when Janet Jackson exposing a breast was the worst thing about America? Justin Timberlake promised there would be no wardrobe malfunction because everyone on stage would be nude start to finish. –Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

there will be no wardrobe malfunction because everyone on stage would be nude start to finish (towel service)

"National parks are shut down. NASA is shut down. There is one government building still open. That is the congressional gym – the exclusive gym where congressmen work out. But the gym is not fully operational because towel service is no longer available due to the shutdown. So, everyone is suffering." –Jimmy Kimmel

Yesterday, the NFL announced that Justin Timberlake is going to do the Super Bowl halftime show. This will be his first Super Bowl halftime performance since 2004 when he was part of the Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction. Remember when Janet the Jackson exposing a breast was the worst thing about America? Justin Timberlake promised there would be no wardrobe malfunction because everyone on stage would be nude start to finish. –Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Man, that’s going to be some super halftime show (300-pound guys blocking things)

Denver Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning said yesterday he’s going to need to get his hip replaced. Man, that’s going to be some super halftime show. –Conan O’Brien

"The Super Bowl this year will be played in Governor Chris Christie's home state of New Jersey. It's a state that lately has gotten used to 300-pound guys blocking things." –Conan O'Brien

"Tom Brady says he wants to give the truck he was given as the Super Bowl MVP to the guy who won the Super Bowl for the Patriots. So Brady's giving his truck to Seahawks coach Pete Carroll." –Conan O'Brien

Justin Timberlake says there will be no 'N Sync reunion during the Super Bowl. The Patriots are upset because now it means they’ll be the most hated guys on the field. --Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Every one of these debates feels like an ‘NSync reunion without Justin Timberlake (opening the freezer two days later)

Taylor Swift beat out Vladimir Putin, King Charles and the president of China as Time’s person of the year, which makes sense. Those guys are terrible singers. —Jimmy Kimmel

The editor-in-chief of Time said, “Taylor Swift is the rare person who is both the writer and hero of her own story”. And also said, ‘We really wanted to sell some magazines this year.’ —Jimmy Kimmel 

“On the other end of the human popularity scale, was the fourth Republican presidential debate, held at the University of Alabama. As with prior debates, Donald Trump was not in attendance. Every one of these debates feels like an ‘NSync reunion without Justin Timberlake.” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

I can’t believe the Academy has a worse concussion protocol than the NFL (How's that been working out for you?)

April 2022

Intelligence officials are saying that Vladimir Putin is being misinformed by his advisors about how badly the Russian military is performing in Ukraine. Which is kind of like Will Smith’s agent telling him, ‘You crushed it at the Oscars.’ —Colin Jost

Will Smith, for those of you who don’t know, walked on stage during the Academy Awards and slapped Chris Rock after he made a joke about Jada Pinkett-Smith, which I think is a disgraceful act that sets a terrible precedent for having to defend your wife at award shows. —Colin Jost

Yesterday Will Smith resigned from the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. If Will Smith had been expelled he would have joined a small group of people kicked out of the Academy including Bill Cosby, Roman Polanski and Harvey Weinstein. Or as they are also known, Bad Boys for Life. —Colin Jost

I also really love that the reason they let Will Smith stay in the audience was that they asked Chris Rock and he said it was okay. So now we just ask the victim right after they get hit in the head? ‘Hey, are you cool if the guy who just attacked you hangs around for awhile? You don’t want to make him mad again.’ I can’t believe the Academy has a worse concussion protocol than the NFL. —Colin Jost

And honestly I can’t even blame the Academy for not knowing what to do. Nobody knew what to do. Even people at the Oscars were Googling, ‘Did Will Smith just slap Chris Rock?’ I think we should just acknowledge that that was one of the craziest things we will ever see in our lives. It’s truly like the Super Bowl wardrobe malfunction but if Janet’s nipple slapped Timberlake. —Colin Jost

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Man, that’s going to be some super halftime show (Great, now do my prenup!)

"A member of Congress is criticizing Steven Spielberg after he discovered parts of the movie 'Lincoln' are historically inaccurate — particularly the scene where Lincoln dies in the mouth of a great white shark." –Conan O'Brien

Denver Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning said yesterday he’s going to need to get his hip replaced. Man, that’s going to be some super halftime show. –Conan O’Brien

“After President Trump gave his State of the Union address, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi tore it in half. Tore in half! Crazy. Yeah. Yeah. Then Melania said, ‘Great, now do my prenup.’” —Conan O’Brien

"Republican Mike Huckabee criticized the Obamas for letting their daughters listen to Beyoncé due to her explicit lyrics. So now the Obama girls are faced with the tough choice every teen must eventually make — listen to Beyoncé or Mike Huckabee." –Conan O'Brien

Justin Timberlake says there will be no 'N Sync reunion during the Super Bowl. The Patriots are upset because now it means they’ll be the most hated guys on the field. --Conan O’Brien

Vladimir Putin is scheduled to play an exhibition hockey game against former professional hockey players. Putin is scheduled to win by 12 goals. –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/02/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

So I'm counting on the new mayor to restore it to its former glory (It was the best of times, it was the worst of times)

November 2013

"In New York they elected a new mayor. He is Bill de Blasio, the first Democrat mayor in 20 years. Now 20 years ago Times Square was filled with strip clubs and porno theaters. So I'm counting on the new mayor to restore it to its former glory." –Craig Ferguson

"In New Jersey, they re-elected Chris Christie by a HUGE margin. Is there any other way?" –Craig Ferguson

"There's now growing concern in Iran about the health of 74-year-old Ayatollah Khamenei, the country's supreme leader. He has a chronic illness. You think healthcare is bad in this country, try seeing a doctor under Ayatollah-Care. See how that works." –Jay Leno

"The White House announced that Joe Biden will travel to Asia to make up for President Obama's trip that was canceled because of the government shutdown. Seriously? That's like Justin Timberlake canceling a show and sending the banjo players from those Geico ads to take his place." –Jimmy Fallon

"Rand Paul, the senator from Kentucky, keeps getting into trouble. They say he actually plagiarized an entire section of his 2012 book, 'Government Bullies.' When asked for comment, Paul said, 'It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.'" –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

So that means I am back to being New York City's biggest embarrassment (pass the ball to Michael Jordan)

September 2013

"It's quite a week for me because Eliot Spitzer lost his race for comptroller and Anthony Weiner lost his race for mayor. So that means I am back to being New York City's biggest embarrassment." –David Letterman

"The Pope recently purchased a 30-year-old car. He's driving around Rome in a 30-year-old car. Can you imagine keeping a 30-year-old car on the road today? There's your miracle, you know what I'm saying?" –David Letterman

"Russian President Vladimir Putin actually wrote an Op-Ed piece in The New York Times where he said it's dangerous for Americans to see themselves as 'exceptional.' Then he said, 'Except for that Justin Timberlake. That guy is amazing.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Putin said it's dangerous for Americans to see themselves as 'exceptional' and said that, quote, 'God created us equal.' Then he got back to arresting people for being gay." –Jimmy Fallon

"Dennis Rodman has been hanging out again in North Korea. He just announced that he will train the North Korean basketball team for the Olympics. He's going to teach them the key strategy that always worked for him – pass the ball to Michael Jordan." –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Now they're really asking for it (at least it's not Trump)

April 2013

"On Tuesday at the White House, President Obama sang with Justin Timberlake. It's being called the blackest thing President Obama has ever done." –Conan O'Brien

"Donald Trump is going to be a grandfather. It's true. That thing on his head is pregnant." –Craig Ferguson

"The South Korean pop star Psy of 'Gangnam Style' fame just announced that he'll release a new song tomorrow. As soon as they heard, North Korea said, 'Now they're really asking for it.'" –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

She defines 'normal' sex as sex where she has to wear a Justin Timberlake mask ($200 getting her back waxed)

"Embattled World Bank president Paul Wolfowitz said Sunday that he will not resign over the scandal in which he secured a pay raise for his girlfriend. That's one thing you have to admire about Wolfowitz: he's a total douche." --Seth Meyers

"John Edwards got a $400 haircut in Beverly Hills. The latest rumor is that Hillary Clinton may have spent nearly $200 getting her back waxed." --Jay Leno

"During last night's Democratic debate, all the candidates said that if they were elected, they would get rid of the military's 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' policy for gay soldiers. 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' will be replaced by the new policy, 'Don't Tell Me You're Wearing Those Boots With That Gun.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Former New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey's ex-wife says that up until he announced he was gay, they had 'normal' sex. Apparently, Mrs. McGreevey defines 'normal' sex as sex where she has to wear a Justin Timberlake mask." --Conan O'Brien

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

defines 'normal' sex as sex where she has to wear a Justin Timberlake mask (Top 1% Got What?)

"Yesterday, President Bush visited a school in New York City. Before his visit, the city filled in all the potholes near the school. Not only that, before the president's visit, the school hid all the sharp objects and covered the electric sockets with plastic protectors." --Conan O'Brien

"Former New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey's ex-wife says that up until he announced he was gay, they had 'normal' sex. Apparently, Mrs. McGreevey defines 'normal' sex as sex where she has to wear a Justin Timberlake mask." --Conan O'Brien

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

The Patriots are upset because... (he hired her to fully obstruct justice)

Justin Timberlake says there will be no 'N Sync reunion during the Super Bowl. The Patriots are upset because now it means they’ll be the most hated guys on the field. --Conan O’Brien

It’s come out that President Trump’s director of communications, Hope Hicks, may have partially obstructed justice. Trump said he’s furious with Hicks because he hired her to fully obstruct justice. --Conan O’Brien

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

everyone on stage will be nude start to finish (halftime performance)

The Los Angeles Dodgers are in the World Series. They are playing the Houston Astros tomorrow night. The Dodgers haven’t been to the World Series since 1988. That is a long time ago. That is before anyone knew what a Kardashian was. Most people at that time thought it was an auto part. –Jimmy Kimmel

Yesterday, the NFL announced that Justin Timberlake is going to do the Super Bowl halftime show. This will be his first Super Bowl halftime performance since 2004 when he was part of the Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction. Remember when Janet the Jackson exposing a breast was the worst thing about America? Justin Timberlake promised there would be no wardrobe malfunction because everyone on stage would be nude start to finish. –Jimmy Kimmel

    

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Especially when their voice says, "You're home early!" (the Jets will not)

A new study has determined that people in relationships can detect infidelity in their partner's voice. Especially when their voice says, "You're home early!" –Seth Meyers

It was reported today that Justin Timberlake may perform at the Super Bowl in February. And that the Jets will not. –Seth Meyers

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Except for that Justin Timberlake. That guy is amazing..

"Russian President Vladimir Putin actually wrote an Op-Ed piece in The New York Times where he said it's dangerous for Americans to see themselves as 'exceptional.' Then he said, 'Except for that Justin Timberlake. That guy is amazing.'" –Jimmy Fallon 



"Putin said it's dangerous for Americans to see themselves as 'exceptional' and said that, quote, 'God created us equal.' Then he got back to arresting people for being gay." –Jimmy Fallon



"Dennis Rodman has been hanging out again in North Korea. He just announced that he will train the North Korean basketball team for the Olympics. He's going to teach them the key strategy that always worked for him – pass the ball to Michael Jordan." –Jimmy Fallon