President Hu meets President Huh (soon every American will receive a voucher for a free popsicle)

"President Bush spoke about the immigration problem. Given how out of hand immigration is, there were 800 more people on Air Force One coming back than on the way there." --Jay Leno

"Chinese President Hu Jintao will also be visiting the White House. China's president meets America's president. President Hu meets President Huh." --Jay Leno

"President Bush says he is personally working on a solution for global warming. He says thanks to Republicans, soon every American will receive a voucher for a free popsicle." –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It's kind of like the Bush White House, but with more oil (although Cheney said it was just an accident)

"President Obama gave a speech about how good it is to have immigrants in this country, though I understand Maria Shriver may give the rebuttal." –Jay Leno

"According to TMZ, Arnold Schwarzenegger is willing to do anything to get his wife, Maria Shriver, back. He's even willing to learn English." –Jay Leno

"The Chinese president, President Hu, visited the White House. He received a 21-gun salute although Cheney said it was just an accident." --Jay Leno

"The latest in Iraq: the government has ceased to function. It's kind of like the Bush White House, but with more oil." --Jay Leno

"But not all the generals are against him. He still has the support of a lot of generals: General Electric, General Dynamics, General Motors." --Jay Leno, on generals calling for Donald Rumsfeld's resignation

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

President Obama is now talking to him about a reverse mortgage (So he’s going to jury duty)

"Vice President Joe Biden was called for jury duty. He can get out of it if he can convince the judge that his presence at his job is essential. So he’s going to jury duty." –Jay Leno

"Chinese President Hu Jintao was hinting that China may not loan the U.S. any more money. President Obama is now talking to him about a reverse mortgage." –Jay Leno

"President Bush has a plan to get us out of this financial mess. It takes place in January when he leaves office, that's the first step." --Jay Leno

"After a three-year run, Hooters Airlines announced it's calling it quits, closing its doors. Today,  President Clinton said, 'This means the terrorists have won.'" --Jay Leno

"Last night in Florida, the Gators got a congratulatory phone call from President Bush. And UCLA shot so badly they got a phone call from Dick Cheney." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

but not so good for one special dog/orange man who leaks/they voted to let poor people die

"Every Republican in Congress voted to repeal the health care legislation. They admitted it was symbolic, but it does enable Republicans to brag in campaign ads next year that they voted to let poor people die." –Bill Maher

"Next week John Boehner will be sitting behind President Obama at the State of the Union address. I think Obama should purposely try to embarrass him by telling the story of Old Yeller. The State of Our Union is strong, but not so good for one special dog.'" –Bill Maher

"Boehner was subject to some controversy because the President hosted President Hu of China this week, and Boehner was invited to the State Dinner and did not come. President Hu was very disappointed. He promised his friends back home that he would get a picture with 'orange man who leaks." –Bill Maher

"It was quite a site to see Obama next to President Hu. Obama has a Nobel Peace Prize in his basement, and Hu has a Nobel Peace prize winner in his." –Bill Maher

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Which meant that for once, Joe Biden wasn't the only one wearing a bib (A Special Kind of Stupid)

"There was one really awkward moment when Hu found out that Obama was a Nobel Peace Prize winner and, out of force of habit, tried to have him arrested." –Jay Leno

"At the state dinner for Chinese President Hu Jintao, Hu opened a fortune cookie that said, 'You will lend us another trillion dollars.'" –Conan O'Brien

"Hu told President Obama's 9-year-old daughter, Sasha, that she's a pretty little girl and asked her how many iPods she could make in an hour." –Conan O'Brien

"At the state dinner for Chinese President Hu Jintao, they served lobster. Which meant that for once, Joe Biden wasn't the only one wearing a bib." –Jimmy Fallon

"Chinese President Hu Jintao is visiting us. When a country owes you a billion dollars they have a problem. When they owe you a trillion dollars, YOU have a problem. We’re too big to fail!" –Jon Stewart

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

The doctors discovered the problem during Cheney's annual autopsy (This is the end of my presidency)

"China's President Hu is visiting the United States. If he likes what he sees, he may put down a deposit." –David Letterman

"There was a big dinner for President Hu. General Tso brought his famous chicken." –David Letterman

"Dick Cheney says he may need a heart transplant. The doctors discovered the problem during Cheney's annual autopsy." –David Letterman

"On the other hand, George W. Bush is still waiting on his brain transplant." –David Letterman

"A woman fainted during a welcoming ceremony for Chinese President Hu Jintao. President Obama said, 'Who knows CPR?' President Hu said, 'No, I don't.'" –Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

She says she'll go to the Super Bowl if actual bears are playing in it (No, really, your money is no good)

"New Speaker of the House John Boehner chose not to attend the dinner for Chinese President Hu. In China, they're calling him an orange chicken." –Jimmy Fallon

"Obama and Hu had a private dinner the night before. When Obama tried to pick up the check, Hu said, 'Your money is no good here.' Obama laughed, and Hu said, 'No, really, your money is no good.'" –Jay Leno

"The President of China is in Washington. It's a bit like when you're into your bookie for more than you can afford, and he stops by the house to say hello." –Jimmy Kimmel

"President Obama says he'll go to the Super Bowl if the Chicago Bears are playing in it. Sarah Palin says she'll go to the Super Bowl if actual bears are playing in it." –Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

he's looking for a job that will make people hate him less (this whole 'women voting' thing)

"Senate majority leader Harry Reid refused to attend the state dinner for Chinese President because he considers Hu Jintao a dictator. In response Jintao said, 'You're coming. You'll have the fish, and you'll like it.'" –Conan O'Brien

"The Republican-controlled House voted to repeal the healthcare bill. If that goes well, they'll see what they can do about this whole 'women voting' thing." –Conan O'Brien

"Arnold Schwarzenegger says he's considering doing a movie in which he would play a Nazi. He says that after being governor of California, he's looking for a job that will make people hate him less." –Conan O'Brien

"President Obama held a state dinner for Chinese President Hu Jintao. The world leader with the funny name, who grew up in Asia, said he enjoyed meeting President Hu." –Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Joe Biden has been asked not to do his 'Hu's on first' routine (the world's most powerful communist)

"Chinese President Hu Jintao visited Barack Obama’s White House. Fox News said it was a gathering of the world's most powerful communist — and the president of China." –Craig Ferguson

"Chinese President Hu Jintao made his first official state visit to the Unites States. Vice President Joe Biden has been asked not to do his 'Hu's on first' routine." –Jimmy Kimmel

"After surprise visits to Afghanistan and Pakistan, Vice President Joe Biden made a surprise visit to Iraq yesterday. Is it me, or is he just lost in that area?" –Jimmy Fallon

"Things are not going well with the Bush administration.  George Bush's approval rating is now 34 percent. 34. Unbelievable. That's 23 with the wind chill." --David Letterman

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Hope is nice but I prefer No Bullsh*t (He’s already picked out a hunting buddy)

"Doctors say Dick Cheney may need a heart transplant, but Cheney isn’t worried. He’s already picked out a hunting buddy." –David Letterman

"Dick Cheney predicts that President Obama will only last one term. This is coming from the same guy that predicted weapons of mass destruction in Iraq." –David Letterman

"President Hu Jintao from China is visiting the United States. Ahead of the big state dinner, President Obama went to Hu's hotel and slipped a menu under the door." –David Letterman

"Dick Cheney may need a new heart. I say we waterboard the Wizard of Oz." –Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Cheney said it was just an accident (Do you feel what I feel?)

"A group of TSA workers at LAX airport have formed a choir to sing to passengers. That's just what you want, a guy with his hands down your pants going, 'Do you feel what I feel?'" –Jay Leno

"On a flight from Cuba to Canada, a man threatened to shoot flight attendants after they stopped serving him drinks. He has been charged with making death threats and if convicted, he could lose his pilot's license." –Jay Leno

"The Chinese president, President Hu, visited the White House. He received a 21-gun salute although Cheney said it was just an accident." --Jay Leno

"The latest in Iraq: the government has ceased to function. It's kind of like the Bush White House, but with more oil." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

It’s so bad for him, now Democrats want to see his birth certificate (Oh, my God. This is terrible.)

"It looks like the Bush-era tax cuts for the rich will continue, due to a strong Republican leader, Barack Obama. Today Obama changed his slogan from 'Yes we can' to 'Yes, we caved.' It’s so bad for him, now Democrats want to see his birth certificate." –Jay Leno

"The Chinese president, President Hu, visited the White House. He received a 21-gun salute although Cheney said it was just an accident." --Jay Leno

"The latest in Iraq: the government has ceased to function. It's kind of like the Bush White House, but with more oil." --Jay Leno

"But not all the generals are against him. He still has the support of a lot of generals: General Electric, General Dynamics, General Motors." --Jay Leno, on generals calling for Donald Rumsfeld's resignation

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

from now on, all bribe money has to be in a clear plastic bag (Cheney said it was just an accident)

"This week senators passed a limited ethics bill. It's something congress knows a lot about. Limited ethics. Some of the new rules are pretty tough, like from now on, all bribe money has to be in a clear plastic bag." --Jay Leno

"The Chinese president, President Hu, visited the White House. He received a 21-gun salute although Cheney said it was just an accident." --Jay Leno

"The latest in Iraq: the government has ceased to function. It's kind of like the Bush White House, but with more oil." --Jay Leno

"But not all the generals are against him. He still has the support of a lot of generals: General Electric, General Dynamics, General Motors." --Jay Leno, on generals calling for Donald Rumsfeld's resignation

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Please excuse Tyler. He was with me (You know Joe Biden has not sold a single car?)

"And the press is going crazy over First Lady Michelle Obama. They say she is the reason for the sleeveless fashion trend that is sweeping Europe. But President Bush spoke about this today. He said he is appalled by it. He said, 'Sleeveless? How does she wipe her nose?'" --Jay Leno

"At the big G-20 summit, President Obama met with the Chinese president, and they had the traditional exchanging of gifts. The Chinese do that. They exchange gifts. President Hu Jintao gave President Obama a gift made in China, and President Obama gave Hu a gift from America made in China." --Jay Leno

"And things are not going well with this auto bailout. President Obama called from England today to check on the status of it. You know Joe Biden has not sold a single car? Not one car since this whole thing started." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

From now on, all bribe money has to be in a clear plastic bag (like the Bush White House, but with more oil)

"This week senators passed a limited ethics bill. It's something congress knows a lot about. Limited ethics. Some of the new rules are pretty tough, like from now on, all bribe money has to be in a clear plastic bag." --Jay Leno

"The Chinese president, President Hu, visited the White House. He received a 21-gun salute although Cheney said it was just an accident." --Jay Leno

"The latest in Iraq: the government has ceased to function. It's kind of like the Bush White House, but with more oil." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

It's kind of like the Bush White House, but with more oil (Cheney said it was just an accident)

"Hillary Clinton blasted the vice president today for failing to disclose all the facts. She wants Dick Cheney to give exact details. You know like, "How do you shoot someone and make it look like an accident?" --Jay Leno

"Dick Cheney gave an interview to Fox News. Some are accusing Fox of giving softball questions. My answer to that is, 'Well, does a vice president shoot in the woods?'" --David Letterman

"The Chinese president, President Hu, visited the White House. He received a 21-gun salute although Cheney said it was just an accident." --Jay Leno

"The latest in Iraq: the government has ceased to function. It's kind of like the Bush White House, but with more oil." --Jay Leno

A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-

collected-poems-1985-2015.html

Bush waterboards Statue of Liberty (the guy in stall number 3)

"Senator Larry Craig announced he's now rethinking his decision to resign from the Senate. He resigned from the Senate and now he's rethinking his decision to resign from Senate. Craig says he's going to talk the decision over with his wife, and the guy in stall number 3." --Conan O'Brien

"President Bush is very busy. Tomorrow President Bush is scheduled to meet with Chinese President Hu Jintao. President Bush says he plans to deliver a message of 'concern and encouragement,' or as Bush calls it, 'concouragement'." --Conan O'Brien

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

The president's popularity continues to fall (Special Victims Unit)

"Fred Thompson just unveiled his campaign slogan, his campaign slogan is: 'United in our core beliefs.' Yeah, if the slogan's a hit, Thompson plans to unveil another one: 'United in our core beliefs: Special Victims Unit." --Conan O'Brien

"This week President Bush met with Chinese President Hu Jintao, and Hu invited Bush to attend the 2008 summer Olympics in China. Yeah, Bush told the Chinese president 'I'm busy next year, but pencil me in for the 2009 summer Olympics.'" --Conan O'Brien

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Every house cleaning starts by replacing the doormat (President Hu meets President Huh)

"The Bush administration reads the poll numbers, they know most Americans think their policies are failing, so they've responded by changing the person who tells us those policies. It's quite a bold move. Every house cleaning starts by replacing the doormat." --Daily Show correspondent Ed Helms

"During a Pentagon briefing, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld said we're making progress and we're very close to capturing some high ranking officials. Unfortunately they are all retired U.S. generals." --Jay Leno

 "Chinese President Hu Jintao will also be visiting the White House. China's president meets America's president. President Hu meets President Huh." --Jay Leno

Only 11 of you will be leaving with a heart!

"Bristol Palin announced she has a new boyfriend. No word yet on their new baby’s name." –Jimmy Fallon

"They had a party at Dick Cheney's house and he invited 12 people to his birthday party. At midnight he told them, 'Only 11 of you will be leaving with a heart.'" –David Letterman



"John Boehner, the congressman from Ohio, is the new speaker of the House. We know that he cries. It's some sort of enzyme problem. If he can't find his car keys, he'll just sit down and sob." –David Letterman