It seems as foreign as the men I hire to cradle me while I nap (getting stoned together in Budapest)

Chipotle is giving away $1 million worth of buy 1 get one free burritos. In a related story Jerry Nadler's dry cleaner committed suicide. —Greg Gutfeld

According to Variety movie theaters are contemplating letting people smoke pot and text while enjoying a movie. And why is that? Well these days theaters are as empty as Kamala's medicine cabinet. True, it's never really recovered from Covid and the idea of sitting with strangers to watch a movie, well it seems as foreign as the men I hire to cradle me while I nap. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

That’s right, another masterful deal for President Business (You Must Be A Special Kind Of Stupid)

This new budget deal gives Trump only enough funding to build 55 miles of border wall, which will stop anyone in their tracks unless they’re willing to travel 56 miles. --James Corden

After all the headaches and the drama of a month-long government shutdown, Trump ended up with less money for a wall that he was offered before the shutdown started. That’s right, another masterful deal for President Business. --James Corden

Last night President Trump held a rally in El Paso, Texas where he introduced a new slogan. It said, “Finnish the Wall.” In Trump’s two years in office, zero miles of wall have been built along a 2,000 mile border. And now he’s saying “Finish the Wall.” Trump’s next banner is just going to say, “The wall is finished, but don’t go looking for it or anything. Just trust us.” --James Corden

So, it sounds like Trump will never have a White House pet. But that’s okay, he can always go to the senate and feed some lettuce to Mitch McConnell. --James Corden

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Denver could become the first city in America to decriminalize magic mushrooms (Let's go Mets!)

We're at a weird point where Trump is basically the last guy who wants a wall. I mean, it's fun to chant "Build the wall," but they didn't expect it to happen any more than they expected Trump to actually lock her up. If you go to a Mets game, you chant "Let's go Mets," but you don't really expect them to go. --Seth Meyers

In a tweet today, Trump talked about forest fires. But he spelled the word "forest" wrong twice. He spelled it “forrest”. I guess you can add spellcheck to the list of things that are shut down. --Jimmy Fallon

You guys hear this? Amazon founder, Jeff Bezos and his wife are splitting up. But on the bright side, he has a lot of extra boxes to pack his things up. --Jimmy Fallon

And finally, I heard that Denver could become the first city in America to decriminalize magic mushrooms. They're the first ones to realize that the only way Americans will eat vegetables is if they're also drugs. --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

He's going to need a two-thirds vote before they pass him the Doritos (new ad slogan)

"President Obama won't be at the Super Bowl either. In fact, in a show of some sort of spirit of cooperation, I guess, he's invited a group of top Republicans to watch the game with him at the White House on Sunday. That should be a lot of fun. He's going to need a two-thirds vote before they pass him the Doritos." –Jimmy Kimmel

"You guys hear about what's going on with Toyota? This is crazy. It's like, their job is to make cars, right? Well, they had a problem with gas pedals getting stuck — now, they're recalling the Prius because the brakes don't work. And because of this, sales of Ford cars and trucks rose 25 percent in the past month. But Ford says it's because of its new ad slogan, 'Ford, because Toyota is trying to kill you.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Scientists in Australia announced that within five years they will be able to successfully carry out pig-to-human lung transplants. People could be part human, part pig. We have that already. I think it's called Dick Cheney." –John Hulse

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”  

it may have something to do with being an overweight man whose job is being enraged (A Special Kind of Stupid)

"You guys hear this? Rush Limbaugh was released from a hospital in Hawaii two days after suffering from chest pains. He's fine. Doctors say they don't know what caused it, but it may have something to do with being an overweight man whose job is being enraged." –Jimmy Fallon

"Did you go and see the 'Avatar' movie? The 3-D blockbuster has now made one billion dollars. Today, the auto industry issued a statement. They'd like to remind people that all their cars are in 3-D." –Craig Ferguson

"The weather here in California is very nice. But it's freezing all across the United States. In fact, in D.C., the weather is so bad — this is true — they actually hired convicted criminals to shovel snow at the U.S. Capitol. Isn't that amazing? So it's nice to see members of Congress doing something useful for a change." –Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”