I won't mention you coming home late, if you don't mention me coming home late

"North Korea has ballistic missile capability. Well fortunately, they're in the hands of a stable guy: Kim Jong Il, his father ment-il-ly ill." --David Letterman

"How many of you remember former President  Bill Clinton? Since he was president, he's been out doing public speaking. You can hire him to come to your banquet or church group or your function. President Clinton will come and he will speak. Making these speeches, he's made seven and a half million dollars. Isn't it amazing? It was, of course, all reported -- not like the old days when he did business under the table." --David Letterman

"According to a poll in Health Magazine, more Americans said they'd rather have Bill Clinton as their father than President Bush. Well sure, with Clinton you get away with a lot more, don't you think? 'Look, I won't mention you coming home late, if you don't mention me coming home late.'" --Jay Leno