NHL: Colorado Avalanche vs Pittsburgh Penguins

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He ran out of brushes (Out of touch & cowardly)

Facebook's parent company will email workers at 4:00 a.m. Wednesday to let them know that they're being laid off. It's weird, right? When I fire my employees at 4 am, I just roll over and wake them up. —Greg Gutfeld

A drip painting by the abstract expressionist Jackson Pollock sold for $181.2 million. Meanwhile, a drip painting by Hunter Biden was treated with penicillin. He ran out of brushes. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

NHL: Colorado Avalanche vs Nashville Predators

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

NHL: Colorado Avalanche vs Edmonton Oilers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

NHL: Colorado Avalanche vs Florida Panthers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

NHL: Colorado Avalanche vs Seattle Kraken

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

Heads, I run. Tails, I flip again until I get heads (hot gourd juice)

Today, confirmation hearings continued for Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh. At one point, a protester screamed, "Sham president, sham justice!" Then security escorted Ruth Bader Ginsburg out of the room. --Jimmy Fallon

I read that Joe Biden will decide whether he's running for president in 2020 by this January. He's gonna take a coin and say, "Heads, I run. Tails, I flip again until I get heads." --Jimmy Fallon

I heard that the pumpkin spice latte is already on sale at Starbucks. Because when it's 95 degrees outside, nothing's more refreshing than some hot gourd juice. --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Today Mitt Romney was declared a safe alternative to Lunesta (Where is Superman?)

"I know you're saying to yourselves where is Vice President Dick Cheney. Right now he's in Tokyo taking part in a pep rally for United States troops. Because when you think Dick Cheney, you think pep." --David Letterman

"In 2036, an asteroid is going to hit Earth. Talk about pressures for President Bush. The question President Bush has been asking himself all day is 'Where is Superman?'" --David Letterman

"It's not that far away -- the 2008 presidential race. Today Mitt Romney ... was declared a safe alternative to Lunesta." --David Letterman

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

if you're thinking of wearing them while watching basketball, don't. You will pass out. (Gin and cucumber?)

As the World Cup continues, a report just came out that football fans in Russia have been drinking so much that bars and restaurants are completely running out of beer. See, this is what happens when England wins one game. --James Corden

Russian bars didn't order enough beer. What did they think a bunch a rowdy football fans were going to do? They're like, "Guys, the next round is on me. Sauvignon blanc? Gin and cucumber? I got you." --James Corden

Speaking of the World Cup, a company has created a pair of women's underwear specially designed for the tournament that vibrate whenever a goal is scored. They're fun during the World Cup, but back home in America, if you're thinking of wearing them while watching basketball, don't. You will pass out. --James Corden

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

people over at the Hillary campaign think this is a good omen for them (tarnish his reputation as the architect of the Iraq War)

"This is my favorite time of year 'cause this is when the networks announce their new s----y shows for the fall. NBC is bringing back the 'Bionic Woman,' which is about a woman who is half-human, half robot and everybody loves her. The people over at the Hillary campaign think this is a good omen for them." --Bill Maher

"Over at Fox, they're bringing a show about a post-Katrina New Orleans. George Bush said he plans to ignore it at first and then tune in later." --Bill Maher

"The man who is described often as the architect of the Iraq war, Paul Wolfowitz, who went on to be the head of the World Bank, is finally stepping down. Leave it to the Bush people to find the one Jew who can't run a bank." --Bill Maher

"The people who were trying to get him out had to agree to say that he was not guilty of doing any wrongdoing. That was very important to Wolfowitz because he does not want anything to tarnish his reputation as the architect of the Iraq war." --Bill Maher

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

Why wouldn't his lawyers just tell him to plead insanity? (Donald! Don't you touch that interview!)

According to a recent article, President Trump’s lawyers want him to skip an interview with the head of the Russia investigation because they're afraid he'll lie under oath. Here's my question: Why wouldn't his lawyers just tell him to plead insanity? Everyone in the world would be like, "Yep, he's nuts." --James Corden

If his lawyers really wanted him NOT do it, then just tell him to do it! Trump is like a child — if you tell him not to do something, it only makes him want to do it more. You know? "Donald! Don't you touch that interview! Donald? No! Donald!" --James Corden

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

Donald Trump is like the bus from "Speed" (everything he's ever said and done)

President Trump's legal team is now reportedly trying to put the brakes on a looming interview with special counsel Robert Mueller. According to the failing New York Times, Trump's lawyers are worried he could be lying too much to investigators, and they base this concern on... everything he's ever said and done over the course of his life. --Jimmy Kimmel

Donald Trump is like the bus from "Speed" — if he doesn't tell 60 lies an hour he blows up. Fried chicken and cheeseburgers go everywhere. --Jimmy Kimmel

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

Taken 4: Oops, All Kidnappers (because I’m lying right now, we didn’t win)

Tonight was the long-awaited, rescheduled day that Donald Trump announced his fake media awards, the Fakies. And I’m proud to say that at 5:15 today, “The Late Show” won Fakest in Late Night. On behalf of everyone here at “The Late Show” I just want to say thank you, sir. And I would say I’m humbled, but I think we deserve it — in part because I’m lying right now, we didn’t win. --Stephen Colbert

Meanwhile, this is good news: We still have a government for, like, 48 hours, something like that. You see, after the breakdown of DACA negotiations, Congress is hurtling toward a government shutdown. Well, maybe not hurtling. The average age of a U.S. senator is 62, so shambling. --Stephen Colbert

Despite controlling the presidency and both houses of Congress, the GOP needs Democratic votes to keep the government open. The Democrats will only do that if Trump supports DACA, but Trump will only agree to DACA if he gets his border wall. It’s all detailed in the new thriller [pic of Trump and congressional leaders] “Taken 4: Oops, All Kidnappers.” --Stephen Colbert

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

I'm surprised he didn't call him the 'Popester' (Go Crimson Tide)

"President Bush got a hero's welcome this week in Albania. He was thrilled. He thought he was in Alabama. Go Crimson Tide." --Jay Leno

"President Bush was in Rome and had a big gaffe at the Vatican. President Bush is in trouble for calling the  Pope 'sir' instead of 'your holiness.' Hey, it could have been worse. I'm surprised he didn't call him the 'Popester'." --Jay Leno

"President Bush finished up his big European trip. He visited with the Pope. They discussed world events, and then caught a matinee of 'Knocked Up.'" --David Letterman

A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-

collected-poems-1985-2015.html

which is officially the smallest amount of money ever stolen by a Republican (other than that, they say the trip went very well)

"Tough day for the Bush administration. A guy named Claude Allen has been arrested and charged in Maryland with swindling Target and some other department stores out of refunds. He allegedly made off without about $5000 or so which is officially the smallest amount of money ever stolen by a Republican." --Jimmy Kimmel

"Here's kind of a philosophical question: If a sniper fires a gun in the woods and nobody's around, does Hillary Clinton still hear it?" -- Jay Leno

"Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton was in Indiana trying to get more people there to like her. She claims to have taken some incoming sniper fire at the Indianapolis airport baggage carousel, but other than that, they say the trip went very well." --Jimmy Kimmel

A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-

collected-poems-1985-2015.html

it's being marketed more as a justification to attack Greece (big fat sex scandal)

"A lot of people have asked, 'Why the big response'? Isn't it obvious? He's a strong leader, he's spreading democracy, and in Albania, it is effectively still 2002. They only just started listening to Nellie. It's still okay to wear those plastic butterfly clips in your hair. And 'My Big Fat Greek Wedding' has just opened in theatres. Though, over there, it's being marketed more as a justification to attack Greece." --Stephen Colbert

"So to the Albanians, the president has just recently launched a highly popular war in Afghanistan. There's no Iraq, no congressional page sex scandal, no Jack Abramoff, no wire-tapping, no secret prisons, no torture, no Valerie Plame, no Abu Ghraib, no no-bid contracts, no Hurricane Katrina, no attorney firings, no contents of Karl Rove's basement freezer. Oh. I'm sorry, I may have spoken too soon. I don't know if that one's broken yet. It's going to be big." --Stephen Colbert

A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-

collected-poems-1985-2015.html

just click over to Fox News. I believe they're running it on a loop (the other 68% are undecided)

"Sometimes it seems like Americans don't appreciate  President Bush. He is currently at a 32% approval rating in this country. I assume the other 68% are undecided. 

We Americans sometimes forget there are people all over the world who don't even have a President Bush. But those who take him for granted ate a big slice of 'no-longer-taking-for-granted' pie this weekend, when our commander-in-chief made a visit to Albania. 

He got a hero's welcome, swarmed by mobs of adoring fans. He is so beloved, the gypsies actually put money in his pockets. And if you missed that footage this morning, just click over to Fox News. I believe they're running it on a loop." --Stephen Colbert

A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-

collected-poems-1985-2015.html

We're not even allowed to ask the guy questions (the poor man's Kazakhstan)

"I have good news to report. Americans were greeted this week as liberators! The bad news? The country was Albania and we've never invaded." --Jon Stewart

"To get a pleasant reception, the President Bush only needed to fly to a country referred to as 'the poor man's Kazakhstan.'" --Jon Stewart

"Wait, can I just ask a question? How did those people get so close to the president? They're hugging him, they're playing with his hair. We're not even allowed to ask the guy questions." --Jon Stewart

A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-

collected-poems-1985-2015.html

young stud pool boy/he did it for 40 minutes (Look, a car!)

"Fred Thompson's on the show tonight. After leaving the Senate, Fred was a regular for years on 'Law & Order.' That's typical Hollywood typecasting. He's a Republican so Hollywood automatically puts him on 'Law & Order.' See, if he was a Democrat, he would have been the young stud pool boy on 'Desperate Housewives.'" --Jay Leno

"This weekend,  President Bush visited Albania and everywhere his motorcade drove, he was greeted with cheers and applause. The Albanians were really excited, and kept saying, 'Look, a car!'" --Conan O'Brien

"Yesterday, President Bush talked about his immigration bill and said, 'The political process is two steps forward, one step back.' Then Bush said, 'It's just like the Hokey Pokey.' Then he did it for 40 minutes." --Conan O'Brien

A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-

collected-poems-1985-2015.html