They ARE sending us their best (This is why you don't have healthcare)

Over the weekend, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said that Donald Trump "says whatever comes into his head." To which Trump responded, "That is not true, clambucket pencil raft!" –Conan O’Brien

Bill Cosby has hired a woman to be his lead attorney. She says she doesn’t know how she got the job, she just woke up and there it was. –Conan O’Brien

Mexico's No. 1 drug lord has escaped from prison and may be headed to the U.S. So Donald Trump was wrong. They ARE sending us their best. –Conan O’Brien

"Conservatives are criticizing Time magazine because they put President Obama on the cover for the 12th time in the last year. Not only that, every week since Obama was elected, he's been on the cover of Black President Magazine." --Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Wow. I never even knew Trump got her pregnant (particularly step mothers)

A number of education experts are saying that parents of teenagers should teach them porn literacy, particularly step mothers. —Michael Che

Elon Musk gave over $20 million to the mysterious RBG PAC, which claimed that Trump and Ruth Bader Ginsburg agreed on the issue of abortion. Wow. I never even knew Trump got her pregnant. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

Hey, is that EMT single, because I am (Supreme Court Justice Extra Crispy)

“President Trump is thrilled to have this opportunity to appoint someone to the Supreme Court. A source close to him revealed that Trump has been ‘salivating’ to nominate a replacement — so get ready for Supreme Court Justice Extra Crispy.” —Stephen Colbert

 “Supreme court justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, died on Friday evening from complications of cancer at 87. Ginsburg led a pioneering life as a lawyer, a judge, and an advocate for gender equality and was known for her tenacity, as only the second woman ever appointed to the supreme court. But national mourning over Ginsburg’s death was quickly overshadowed by political maneuvering, as the Senate majority leader, Mitch McConnell, who in 2016 opposed confirming Barack Obama’s nomination of Merrick Garland to the supreme court during an election year, released a statement just hours after Ginsburg’s death saying: ‘President Trump’s nominee will receive a vote on the floor of the United States Senate.’ He couldn’t even wait until the morning. That’s like a husband rushing to the scene of the accident and going, ‘No, not my wife! Hey, is that EMT single, because I am.’” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

He leaves a wife, two kids, and six Squirtles (That is not true, clambucket pencil raft!)

A man in Oregon got stabbed while playing Pokémon Go and refused medical treatment in order to keep playing. He leaves a wife, two kids, and six Squirtles. –Conan O’Brien

There are some nursing homes in New York that are allowing elderly residents to have sex. There’s also a new trend the next morning at nursing homes known as the "Shuffle of Shame." –Conan O’Brien

Over the weekend, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said that Donald Trump "says whatever comes into his head." To which Trump responded, "That is not true, clambucket pencil raft!" –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Our work is to rekindle the fires of human dignity (flip me over and...)

October 2022

Police in England are now using specially trained dogs to detect semen at crime scenes. This replaces the old method of detecting semen. Slipping on it. —Michael Che

Rasheed Sunak will become Great Britain’s first ever Prime Minister of Indian descent. Said his mom, ‘OK, why not king?’ —Michael Che

The Postal Service announced a new stamp honoring the late Supreme Court justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. There’s also a stamp honoring Clarence Thomas that says, ‘flip me over and start lickin’.’ —Michael Che

Police in Queens are searching for a suspect who hijacked a bus and then immediately crashed it into a utility pole. Okay. So we know it’s a woman. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

That is not true, clambucket pencil raft! (Sometimes it's OK to just let go)

This morning, Bernie Sanders endorsed Hillary Clinton. So, as promised, this afternoon, the Clinton campaign released Bernie Sanders' wife. –Conan O’Brien

Over the weekend, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said that Donald Trump "says whatever comes into his head." To which Trump responded, "That is not true, clambucket pencil raft!" –Conan O’Brien

Bill Cosby has hired a woman to be his lead attorney. She says she doesn’t know how she got the job, she just woke up and there it was. –Conan O’Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It's the first time in the Supreme Court's history that Ruth Bader Ginsburg has not been the hottest chick there (tequila of mass destruction)

"In a recent interview, Hillary Clinton said in her spare time what she likes to do is download iTunes. And, of course, we all know in his spare time, Bill likes to download interns." --David Letterman

 

"The United Arab Emirates says we will get our ports back if we take Michael Jackson back." --David Letterman

"President Bush is sending troops to the Mexican border. He's going to have them look for tequila of mass destruction." --David Letterman

 

"It's the first time in the Supreme Court's history that Ruth Bader Ginsburg has not been the hottest chick there." --David Letterman, on Anna Nicole Smith appearing before the Supreme Court

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Sweet, I love magic! (sniff a different type of hair)

January 2022

President Biden promised to nominate a black woman to the Supreme Court. But I hope it’s not because he wants to sniff a different type of hair. —Michael Che

Here’s a picture of Mitch McConnell giving the thumb’s up sign after learning that Betty White has died, warned President Biden not to outsource his choice for the Supreme Court to the radical left. Incidentally, a radical left is also what McConnell takes to purposely run over stray dogs. —Michael Che

President Biden on Friday traveled to Pittsburgh and promised to rebuild a collapsed bridge using funds from his infrastructure bill. While the republicans feel the bridge should pull itself up with its own bootstraps. —Michael Che

Items from the late Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s personal library are being auctioned off. They’re selling the books and the desks, but to honor Ginsburg’s legacy, they’re going to hang on to the seat for way longer than they should. —Michael Che

A new study of female bottlenose dolphins suggests the clitoris can experience pleasure during sexual stimulation. But sadly, their fins can’t reach. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Top Ten Things You May Not Know About The United States Supreme Court (Fridays are "robe optional")

David Letterman's "Top Ten Things You May Not Know About The United States Supreme Court"

10. For summer promotional campaign, it's been renamed the Taco Bell Big Beef Supreme Court
9. Public courtroom seating has a two-drink minimum
8. Under rare circumstances, decision is handed down based on applause
7. Court mascot "Supreme Kurt" is available for parties and corporate events
6. Prior to oral arguments, the justices spend 15 minutes discussing "Hot Topics"
5. Court basement features an indoor gavel range
4. Thanks to grass-roots Internet campaign, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg will host "Saturday Night Live"
3. For the last two weeks, Chief Justice John Roberts has been out on jury duty
2. Fridays are "robe optional"
1. Antonin Scalia: Vampire Hunter

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

That's fine. I don't believe in Italy (No one surprise her!)

Tomorrow is Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg's 85th birthday. No one surprise her! --Seth Meyers

Italy implemented new laws this week that will fine parents up to $560 for sending unvaccinated children to school if they're between the ages of 6 and 16. Said anti-vaxxers, "That's fine. I don't believe in Italy." --Seth Meyers

Former representative Beto O'Rourke announced today he is running for president. Said Trump, "Wow. So, either way, there's going to be a hot guy in The White House." --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

He's so far up Trump's ass Hannity had to scoot over (that is the last time she parties with Brett Kavanaugh)

But this guy Matthew Whitaker the new Attorney General boy does he love him some Donald Trump everything Whitaker has sent or written just amplifies Trump’s unhinged narratives. Whitaker wrote an op-ed which said the Muller investigation goes too far. He wants to indict Hillary Clinton. He's so far up Trump's ass Hannity had to scoot over. --Bill Maher

Democrats had no luck, the last thing we need this week, Ruth Bader Ginsburg broke three ribs. She says she's gonna be okay but that is the last time she parties with Brett Kavanaugh. --Bill Maher

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Somebody get me a pair of pliers and a bite stick! (Does she need ribs? I’ve got ribs!)

Last night the White House revoked Jim Acosta’s. Oh No! Now how will he “NOT” get answers to his questions. --Stephen Colbert

With Jeff Sessions gone, Trump has a new man overseeing Robert Mueller. Acting Attorney General and baby who grew up and is not happy about it, Matthew Whitaker. Whitaker’s a long-time outspoken critic of the Mueller investigation which he will now head. He previously served as the U.S. Attorney for the Southern district of Iowa. Then, after that, he worked for World Patent Marketing, which was shut down by the Federal Trade Commission for fraud. Great! He’s an expert on Federal crime because he committed it! --Stephen Colbert

And just in case you thought today couldn’t get any worse, we’ve learned that Ruth Bader Ginsburg has been hospitalized with fractured ribs. No! Does she need ribs? I’ve got ribs! She can take mine. Somebody get me a pair of pliers and a bite stick! --Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Heads, I run. Tails, I flip again until I get heads (hot gourd juice)

Today, confirmation hearings continued for Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh. At one point, a protester screamed, "Sham president, sham justice!" Then security escorted Ruth Bader Ginsburg out of the room. --Jimmy Fallon

I read that Joe Biden will decide whether he's running for president in 2020 by this January. He's gonna take a coin and say, "Heads, I run. Tails, I flip again until I get heads." --Jimmy Fallon

I heard that the pumpkin spice latte is already on sale at Starbucks. Because when it's 95 degrees outside, nothing's more refreshing than some hot gourd juice. --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

I'm only here because 'Avengers' was sold out (SpongeBob, Springsteen and Harry Potter)

The nominations for the Tony Awards came out today, and "Mean Girls," "SpongeBob," and "Harry Potter" all got nominated. Bruce Springsteen is getting a special Tony for his hit show as well. I'll be watching just to hear Bruce say, "It's an honor to share this to the world with my Broadway peers, SpongeBob and Harry Potter." --Jimmy Fallon

Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg just attended the premiere of a documentary about her life. Even she was like, "I'm only here because 'Avengers' was sold out." --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

practicing their “I’m horrified but I can’t show it” face (I just don’t want to be there)

Well, tomorrow is President Trump’s first State of the Union address. And you can tell he’s serious about it, because today he hopped on his computer and Googled “how to do State of the Union address.” --Jimmy Fallon

Of course, Trump’s been practicing his speech ahead of time. While Mike Pence and Paul Ryan are practicing their “I’m horrified but I can’t show it” face. --Jimmy Fallon

I heard that Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg will not be at the State of the Union, because of a previous commitment. When asked what she had to do, she said, “Oh, I just don’t want to be there.” --Jimmy Fallon

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

Which may account for that feeling that we’re being repeatedly screwed (honeymoon phase)

This Thursday, President Trump will be having dinner with the members of the Supreme Court. However, Mike Pence cannot attend because his wife won’t let him dine with that temptress Ruth Bader Ginsburg. –Conan O’Brien

Today, President Trump held separate phone conversations with the president of China and the prime minister of Japan. Trump was shocked to learn that those are two different people. –Conan O’Brien

Saturday marks President Trump’s first 100 days. Political analysts say that we are still in President Trump’s “honeymoon” phase. Which may account for that feeling that we’re being repeatedly screwed. –Conan O’Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #JusticeDemocrats

JOKES: Trump claimed over $100 million in business losses in 2005 (Ginsburg’s 84th birthday)

Maddow also reported last night that President Trump claimed over $100 million in business losses in 2005. How do you lose $100 million in 2005? Did you buy stock in Heidi Montag? –Seth Meyers

Today was Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s 84th birthday. I don’t know how she celebrated, but I hope it was carefully. –Seth Meyers

Adult website PornHub offered free snow removal during the blizzard yesterday to people in Boston and New Jersey. They cleared your sidewalk, your driveway, and your browser history. –Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

JOKES: The definition of Insanity

It’s come out that 83-year-old Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s daily workout routine includes pushups, planks, and squats. Apparently she began seriously taking care of her health last November 9th. –Conan O’Brien

According to a new study, cats may have more potential than dogs to sniff out bombs. They just won’t bother to tell you. –Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

But Not One Penny for early childhood education (weapons systems)

During an interview yesterday, Donald Trump told his supporters not to harass Latinos and Muslims. “Uh-oh,” said black people. –Seth Meyers

Donald Trump told supporters last night not to harass Latinos and Muslims, saying, “I will say right to the cameras, ‘Stop it’” — and then he winked so hard his wig unsnapped. –Seth Meyers

According to The New York Times, Donald Trump wants to continue holding large rallies after he takes office — and Hillary Clinton wants to continue hiking deeper and deeper into the woods. –Seth Meyers

A new study revealed that having a pint of beer every day can help prevent strokes and heart disease — so this one is on me, Justice Ginsburg. Keep going. –Seth Meyers

A new scientific study shows rats are capable of laughter if they are tickled the correct way. The rats were like, “Why aren’t you trying to cure cancer?” –Seth Meyers

Clarence Thomas couldn't keep his eyes off exhibits A and B (the hottest chick there)

"It's the first time in the Supreme Court's history that Ruth Bader Ginsberg has not been the hottest chick there." --David Letterman, on Anna Nicole Smith appearing before the Supreme Court

"Give her credit, Anna Nicole Smith made a compelling case. So good, in fact, that Clarence Thomas couldn't keep his eyes off exhibits A and B." --David Letterman

"President Bush right now is in India. He's in India. So it's comforting to know that Quick-Draw Cheney has his finger on the button." --David Letterman