Where the workers set the rules (Also plummeting 90%, sales of El Caminos)

Illegal border crossings have plummeted 90% since Trump returned to the White House. Also plummeting 90%, sales of El Caminos. —Greg Gutfeld

Hillary Clinton criticized Elon Musk and DOGE for hiring a 22-year-old to review the FAA. She's just mad because the last time someone hired a 22-year-old she banged her husband. —Greg Gutfeld

Frontier Airlines may actually merge with Spirit Air. Their new name, Greyhound. —Greg Gutfeld

Katie Couric said that covering Donald Trump is really hard, and that’s the first time that really hard and Katie Couric have been used in the same sentence. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I think since George W. Bush, actually (later he was ejected for head-butting)

"Do you folks know anything about the Skull And Bones society?

It's like a fraternal organization, at Yale University. Well, they're

auctioning off a human skull. And I was thinking about this. I

believe this is the first empty skull to come out of Yale, well,

I think since George W. Bush, actually." –David Letterman

"It's so hot today, George W. Bush told Al Roker to stop doing that [bleeped]. That's what President Bush said at the G-8 Summit. He was overheard using dirty language at the G-8 Summit and not only that, later he was ejected for head-butting." --David Letterman

"Next week Katie Couric begins as the anchor of the 'CBS Evening News.' Katie is the first solo female anchor. Pretty good if you don't count the two years Tom Brokaw worked in a skirt and heels." --David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

And just to tick him off, Biden told the waiter it was their anniversary (Just one more thing...)

One of Donald Trump’s potential attorneys general is reportedly already working on a plan to make Muslims register with the government. Does anyone see a problem with that, or do you “Nazi?” –Seth Meyers

"According to excerpts from Sarah Palin's memoir, 'Going Rogue,' the former vice presidential nominee says her infamous Katie Couric interview went so poorly because Couric was badgering, had a partisan agenda, and asked questions." –Seth Meyers

Vice President Joe Biden and Vice President-elect Mike Pence had lunch together this afternoon. And just to tick him off, Biden told the waiter it was their anniversary. – Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Suck it, Ryan Gosling! (Oklacovid!)

August 2021

“I know you want to hear me talk about the big story everybody’s talking about right now. The chaos surrounding the recent poorly handled regime change — over at ‘Jeopardy!’” —Stephen Colbert

“The game show’s search for Alex Trebek’s successor, which included tryouts by guest hosts like LeVar Burton and Katie Couric, ended last week when the executive producers of Jeopardy! selected executive producer Mike Richards. Wow, what are the odds? Exactly the same as me getting named ‘Stephen Colbert Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive.’ Suck it, Ryan Gosling!” —Stephen Colbert

“But since then, crude comments about women, Jews and Haiti that Richards made on a podcast years ago have emerged. Ooh, looks like Richards’s job might be in … jeopardy!” —Stephen Colbert

“Earlier today OnlyFans announced that it’s going to block all X-rated content starting in October. Reportedly, ‘OnlyFans was struggling to find outside investors because of its adult content.’ Evidently, pornography does not live up to the high moral standards of investment bankers, unless it’s them [expletive] the economy. Then it’s fine.” —Stephen Colbert

“Now, there’s a bright side to banning shots of where the sun don’t shine, because OnlyFans says while sexually explicit material will be banned, nudity that is not sexually explicit will remain allowed. So you can only post nude images that would never turn on anyone — and, I’m sorry, I just don’t need the money that badly.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It turns out he was born in Kenya (I have the nicest legs at CBS)

"Donald Trump is not running for president. It turns out he was born in Kenya." –David Letterman

"Today is the 84th anniversary of Charles Lindbergh's solo crossing of the Atlantic. It was the last time an American was warmly greeted in France. When he landed he told people he'd enjoyed the flight and had actually joined the Mile High Club." –David Letterman

"May 21st is supposed to be Judgment Day. We should send a robot Arnold Schwarzenegger back in time to fix things. Though I suspect if he could go back in time he might fix some other things." –Craig Ferguson

"The man that is predicting judgment day predicted the end of the world in 1994. He also predicted that Ashton Kutcher would never return to television." –Craig Ferguson

"Katie Couric had her last broadcast and we were very sad to see her go but now it's official. I have the nicest legs at CBS." –Craig Ferguson

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

it's not the fire in the belly; it's the air in the head (the last solo male anchor)

"The Obama campaign is selling t-shirts with his long-form birth certificate and 'Made in the U.S.A.' Arnold Schwarzenegger is selling t-shirts that say 'Maid in the bedroom, made in the kitchen …'" –Jay Leno

"Sarah Palin was asked if she has the fire in the belly to run for President, and she said yes. But it's not the fire in the belly; it's the air in the head." –Jay Leno

"Katie Couric was the first solo female anchor. You know who the last solo male anchor was? Osama bin Laden." –Jay Leno

"It's been reported that Arnold Schwarzenegger was paying the maid 1200 dollars a week. It gets uglier. He bought the woman a house in Bakersfield, and he was having sex with the lady who cleans that house too." –Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Find the A$$hole in Less Than 10 Seconds (twisting my words by repeating them verbatim)

"It's just so great to be back on Fox News, a network that both pays me and shows me the questions ahead of time. I just hope that tonight the lamestream media won't twist my words by repeating them verbatim." –Tina Fey as Sarah Palin

"The important thing for people to know is that I'm gonna be runnin' for president every four years for the rest of my life. It's my Olympics and I intend to win a whole bunch of silvers." –Tina Fey as Sarah Palin

"As for boning up on experience and policy, I'm planning a trip to the Middle East, where I will be filming a cameo on Hangover 3, the third hangover. And I also recently purchased Rosetta Stone English." –Tina Fey as Sarah Palin

"First I want to acknowledge that this week we finally vanquished one of the world's great villains. And I for one am thrilled to say good riddance to Katie Couric." –Tina Fey, reprising her Sarah Palin impression on SNL

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Excuse Me, I'm Trying to Lie Here (Obama gave him a $4 billion bailout)

"Former first lady Laura Bush said in an interview that she and George W. Bush do everything together. Then she said she had to go because 'SpongeBob' was on." –Conan O'Brien

"Officials at BP have filed for permits to drill for oil again in the Gulf of Mexico. They say the oil is easier to find than ever because it's mostly on top of the water." –Conan O'Brien

"Charlie Sheen's live show bombed so badly in Detroit that President Obama gave him a $4 billion bailout." –Jimmy Kimmel

"It's being reported that Katie Couric will be leaving CBS before the presidential campaigns. Who will be brave enough to ask Sarah Palin questions that should be incredibly easy to answer now?" –Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

It reminded me a little bit of when I lost my virginity ($4 billion bailout)

"Charlie Sheen's live show bombed so badly in Detroit that President Obama gave him a $4 billion bailout." –Jimmy Kimmel

"It's being reported that Katie Couric will be leaving CBS before the presidential campaigns. Who will be brave enough to ask Sarah Palin questions that should be incredibly easy to answer now?" –Jimmy Kimmel

"The people at Charlie Sheen’s show were all mad, which I don’t understand. You paid to see a train wreck. The train wrecked. And now you’re mad about it? People walked out and wanted their money back. It reminded me a little bit of when I lost my virginity." –Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Apparently she is into more than just paint jobs (No one knows. It has never happened)

You all heard of the show Trading Spaces? It has been reported that Paige Davis, the host of Trading Spaces may have starred in an amateur porn video. Apparently Paige is into more than just paint jobs. --Conan O’Brien 12/22/2004

It's been reported that NBC is on the verge of offering Katie Couric almost a hundred million dollars to stay on The Today Show. Meanwhile NBC is on the verge of offering me a set of steak knives. --Conan O’Brien 12/11/2001

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

And I'm Not In Jail? Go Me. (she got a cramp in her wink)

"Anybody reading the 'Going Rogue' book, the Sarah Palin memoir? Remember the interview she did with Katie Couric before the election and it was confusing and clumsy. Well, in the book, Sarah Palin says that she felt ambushed when Katie Couric asked her what newspapers she read. This coming from a woman who hunts wolves from a helicopter." –David Letterman

"Sarah Palin signed copies — she's out on a massive book tour. This is a huge bestseller. She was at Barnes & Noble today and she actually had to take a break because she got a cramp in her wink." –David Letterman

"Then she got a sore hand from signing so many book copies. She had to call Rush Limbaugh to get some OxyContin, and that put her right where she wanted to be." –David Letterman

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”  

Also not interested in hiring Lou Dobbs, the band Los Lobos (we should have spent $75,000)

"According to excerpts from Sarah Palin's memoir, 'Going Rogue,' the former vice presidential nominee says her infamous Katie Couric interview went so poorly because Couric was badgering, had a partisan agenda, and asked questions." –Seth Meyers

"Fox News made a big announcement, they announced that they are not interested in hiring outspoken anti-immigration anchor Lou Dobbs. Yeah, yeah. Also not interested in hiring Lou Dobbs, the band Los Lobos." –Conan O'Brien

"In her new book, Sarah Palin claims that before John McCain chose her as his running mate, his campaign spent $50,000 on a background check. Yeah. When he heard this, John McCain said, we should have spent $75,000." –Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Scientific explanations do not fit into sound bites (his audience of simpletons)

"The White House says it wants to appoint a high-powered official to oversee the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, and issue directions to the Pentagon and the State Department. This person would be called 'the president of the United States.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Just days after her controversial trip to Syria, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi announced she's considering taking another controversial trip -- this time to Iran. Even worse, when Pelosi gets back, she's going fishing with Don Imus."--Conan O'Brien

"A producer has been fired from CBS News because Katie Couric taped a story that turned out to be plagiarized from the Wall Street Journal. Viewers became suspicious when they noticed that Couric was reading the story directly out of the Wall Street Journal." --Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Dick Cheney is being rushed to Cuba by Michael Moore (It's the watch Cheney uses to hypnotize him)

"Dick Cheney has had like 19 heart attacks and has a pacemaker. He needs a new pacemaker. I guess they wear out from time to time. So right now, Dick Cheney is being rushed to Cuba by Michael Moore." --David Letterman

"George Bush was in Albania and his watch was stolen. ... They have a description of the guy. They say the suspect is armed and punctual. It's not a laughing matter. Don't kid yourselves. It's an important watch. It's the one Cheney uses to hypnotize him." --David Letterman

"Here's some broadcasting ugliness. Dan Rather, who used to host the 'Evening News' here at CBS, said this about Katie Couric, who is now hosting the 'CBS Evening News.' Dan Rather said she is tarting up the news. Dan followed that comment by saying, 'Bring me another whiskey sour.'" --David Letterman

A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-

collected-poems-1985-2015.html

the two years Tom Brokaw worked in a skirt and heels (al Qaeda video)

"Al Qaeda has released another video. This is rather strange. It features a 28-year-old American named Adam Pearlman from Orange County, California. Who is in al Qaeda? How crazy is that? Finally, an American takes a job away from somebody overseas, and it's in al Qaeda." --Jay Leno

"Have you seen the video? The guy's wearing a white robe and a white turban, and he's demanding that all Americans convert to Islam. That shows you how backwards al Qaeda is right there. I mean, who wears white after Labor Day?." --Jay Leno

"Next week Katie Couric begins as the anchor of the 'CBS Evening News.' Katie is the first solo female anchor. Pretty good if you don't count the two years Tom Brokaw worked in a skirt and heels." --David Letterman

I have the nicest legs at CBS

"May 21st is supposed to be Judgment Day. We should send a robot Arnold Schwarzenegger back in time to fix things. Though I suspect if he could go back in time he might fix some other things." –Craig Ferguson



"Katie Couric had her last broadcast and we were very sad to see her go but now it's official. I have the nicest legs at CBS." –Craig Ferguson



"Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he's putting his career on hold to concentrate on personal matters. Either that or he's putting Korea on hold. It's hard to understand him. He told his talent agency to hold all his projects while he cleans up his personal mess. That's what happens when you impregnate your maid. There's no one to clean up messes for you." –Jimmy Kimmel



And I for one am thrilled to say good riddance to Katie Couric

"In the wake of the killing of Osama bin Laden President Obama's approval rating jumped to 56 percent, his highest in two years. Which shows there is literally nothing he can do to please the other 44 percent." –Seth Meyers



"First I want to acknowledge that this week we finally vanquished one of the world's great villains. And I for one am thrilled to say good riddance to Katie Couric." –Tina Fey, reprising her Sarah Palin impression on SNL



"It's just so great to be back on Fox News, a network that both pays me and shows me the questions ahead of time. I just hope that tonight the lamestream media won't twist my words by repeating them verbatim." –Tina Fey as Sarah Palin

John Hulse photography

Why does he keep outsourcing the job of his wife?

"Officials at BP have filed for permits to drill for oil again in the Gulf of Mexico. They say the oil is easier to find than ever because it's mostly on top of the water." –Conan O'Brien 



"It's being reported that Katie Couric will be leaving CBS before the presidential campaigns. Who will be brave enough to ask Sarah Palin questions that should be incredibly easy to answer now?" –Jimmy Kimmel



"No one turns lemons into lemonphetamines like Charlie Sheen." –Jimmy Kimmel



"If Donald Trump loves America so much, why does he keep outsourcing the job of his wife?" –Seth Meyers

One of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror

''Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?''

—George W. Bush, Florence, S.C., Jan. 11, 2000

''You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror.''

—President George W. Bush, interview with CBS News' Katie Couric, Sept. 6, 2006

''There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again.''

—President George W. Bush, Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002.