I think since George W. Bush, actually (later he was ejected for head-butting)

"Do you folks know anything about the Skull And Bones society?

It's like a fraternal organization, at Yale University. Well, they're

auctioning off a human skull. And I was thinking about this. I

believe this is the first empty skull to come out of Yale, well,

I think since George W. Bush, actually." –David Letterman

"It's so hot today, George W. Bush told Al Roker to stop doing that [bleeped]. That's what President Bush said at the G-8 Summit. He was overheard using dirty language at the G-8 Summit and not only that, later he was ejected for head-butting." --David Letterman

"Next week Katie Couric begins as the anchor of the 'CBS Evening News.' Katie is the first solo female anchor. Pretty good if you don't count the two years Tom Brokaw worked in a skirt and heels." --David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I was more offended by the way he eats a buttered roll in front of company (I have got to get normaler)

"A lot of people were offended by President Bush

using a four-letter word at the G-8 Summit the other

day. Were you offended? I was more offended by

the way he eats a buttered roll in front of company."

--Jay Leno

"The FBI is investigating Americans -- just for

opposing the war. You know, maybe when we're

done establishing a democracy in  Iraq, we could

try it over here. Stop, I don't want to get investigated,

don't applaud!" --Jay Leno

"More bad news from President Bush. Remember

those rebate checks from a few months ago? He

wants them back. We need to give that money to

rich people on Wall Street. They need it more than

you do." --Jay Leno

President Bush was not at the Republican convention

due to a disaster: his presidency." --Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I was more offended by the way he eats a buttered roll in front of company (Joe Cones)

Donald Trump said that Iran shooting at one of our ships was a big mistake. Trump knows all about mistakes. He’s had three wives and Eric. --Stephen Colbert

Coming into this evening, Joe Biden had a big lead in all the polls, and to celebrate, his supporters handed out free ice cream they called Joe Cones. A Joe Cone is also what Biden wears to make sure he respects personal space. --Stephen Colbert

"A Tomahawk cruise missile fell off a truck in the Bronx this week. A cruise missile, isn't that unbelievable? You know what that means? There are now more weapons of mass destruction in the Bronx than there are in Iraq." --Jay Leno

"A lot of people were offended by President Bush using a four-letter word at the G-8 Summit the other day. Were you offended? I was more offended by the way he eats a buttered roll in front of company." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

A conservative is a man... (that'll get you impeached)

"And they say that Barack Obama now is a little down in the polls. Now this is a surprise, because after they announced the vice presidential candidate, they were hoping to get that Joe Biden bounce. Now don't confuse that Joe Biden bounce with a Bill Clinton bounce -- that'll get you impeached." --David Letterman

"Bush didn't make the convention because the hurricane, Gustav, hit New Orleans, but actually didn't. Bush was at the Hurricane Command Center, taking credit for a perfect emergency response to a perfect non-emergency. Although he actually did cause some panic, because viewers at home saw him sitting there, doing nothing, and they thought maybe it was another terrorist attack." -Bill Maher

"A lot of people were offended by President Bush using a four-letter word at the G-8 Summit the other day. Were you offended? I was more offended by the way he eats a buttered roll in front of company." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

I was more offended by the way he eats a buttered roll in front of company (don't applaud!)

"Bush didn't make the convention because the hurricane, Gustav, hit New Orleans, but actually didn't. Bush was at the Hurricane Command Center, taking credit for a perfect emergency response to a perfect non-emergency. Although he actually did cause some panic, because viewers at home saw him sitting there, doing nothing, and they thought maybe it was another terrorist attack." -Bill Maher

"A lot of people were offended by President Bush using a four-letter word at the G-8 Summit the other day. Were you offended? I was more offended by the way he eats a buttered roll in front of company." --Jay Leno

"The FBI is investigating Americans -- just for opposing the war. You know, maybe when we're done establishing a democracy in  Iraq, we could try it over here. Stop, I don't want to get investigated, don't applaud!" --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Stop, I don't want to get investigated, don't applaud! (buttered rolls)

"Bush didn't make the convention because the hurricane, Gustav, hit New Orleans, but actually didn't. Bush was at the Hurricane Command Center, taking credit for a perfect emergency response to a perfect non-emergency. Although he actually did cause some panic, because viewers at home saw him sitting there, doing nothing, and they thought maybe it was another terrorist attack." -Bill Maher

"A lot of people were offended by President Bush using a four-letter word at the G-8 Summit the other day. Were you offended? I was more offended by the way he eats a buttered roll in front of company." --Jay Leno

"The FBI is investigating Americans -- just for opposing the war. You know, maybe when we're done establishing a democracy in  Iraq, we could try it over here. Stop, I don't want to get investigated, don't applaud!" --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #FeeltheBern @justicedems @BrandNew535 #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans  

This Taepo-Dong could be horrific/karaoke machine/hot buttered rolls

"A lot of people were offended by President Bush using a four-letter word at the G-8 Summit the other day. Were you offended? I was more offended by the way he eats a buttered roll in front of company." --Jay Leno

"This Taepo-Dong could be horrific. Millions could die from this Dong. A veritable Dong-ocaust. By creating lethal weapons with very silly names, they're making their growing military might seem hilariously innocuous. And you know our president -- you mention Taepo Dong at a national security briefing, and he's taking a two-hour ride on the giggle train. It's not just the Taepo-Dong. Did you know Kim's working on neutron explosive that burns you from the inside out, leaving you a charred husk of flesh? It's called Long Fat ****. Worst of all, when it blows up, it spreads a deadly biochemical cream of sum yung guy." --Daily Show correspondent Rob Corddry

"At the end of last night's 'American Idol,' Ryan Seacrest announced that more than 63 million votes were cast, which is more than any president in U.S. history has ever received. In a related story, this morning Hillary Clinton bought a karaoke machine." --Conan O'Brien

In a related story, this morning Hillary Clinton bought a karaoke machine (cream of sum yung guy)

"A lot of people were offended by President Bush using a four-letter word at the G-8 Summit the other day. Were you offended? I was more offended by the way he eats a buttered roll in front of company." --Jay Leno

"At the end of last night's 'American Idol,' Ryan Seacrest announced that more than 63 million votes were cast, which is more than any president in U.S. history has ever received. In a related story, this morning Hillary Clinton bought a karaoke machine." --Conan O'Brien

"This Taepo-Dong could be horrific. Millions could die from this Dong. A veritable Dong-ocaust. By creating lethal weapons with very silly names, they're making their growing military might seem hilariously innocuous. And you know our president -- you mention Taepo Dong at a national security briefing, and he's taking a two-hour ride on the giggle train. It's not just the Taepo-Dong. Did you know Kim's working on neutron explosive that burns you from the inside out, leaving you a charred husk of flesh? It's called Long Fat ****. Worst of all, when it blows up, it spreads a deadly biochemical cream of sum yung guy." --Daily Show correspondent Rob Corddry

Hillary Clinton bought a karaoke machine (hot buttered rolls)

"When it gets hot, so hot you can't stand it and the steam is rising from your scalp, do you worry about global warming? Well, George Bush is now also worried about global warming, but he has a plan. He's going to invade the sun." --David Letterman

"A lot of people were offended by President Bush using a four-letter word at the G-8 Summit the other day. Were you offended? I was more offended by the way he eats a buttered roll in front of company." --Jay Leno

"At the end of last night's 'American Idol,' Ryan Seacrest announced that more than 63 million votes were cast, which is more than any president in U.S. history has ever received. In a related story, this morning Hillary Clinton bought a karaoke machine." --Conan O'Brien

Congress, very quietly voted themselves a $3,300 pay raise (Why not? Job well done)

"Speaking of Congress, the other day -- very quietly -- they voted themselves a $3,300 pay raise. Why not? Job well done. A lot of added expenses this year: legal fees, criminal defense lawyers."  --Jay Leno

"Congress gave itself a big raise this week and voted against the minimum wage, which is kind of ironic. I mean if anybody should getting minimum wage, it's Congress." --Jay Leno

"Apparently at the G-8 luncheon, the president, not realizing his mic was on, made some comments about Syria, Kofi Annan and Diet Coke. Diet Coke came out on top. Anyway, the mainstream media seems to think we have a right to know what he said to Tony Blair. Well, we don't folks. If we need to know, it would have been put in a press release. I've said it before, reporting is putting press releases into your own words." --Stephen Colbert

If there's one thing Hillary can do, it's bring polls down (hot buttered roll)

"A lot of people were offended by President Bush using a four-letter word at the G-8 Summit the other day. Were you offended? I was more offended by the way he eats a buttered roll in front of company." --Jay Leno

"At the end of last night's 'American Idol,' Ryan Seacrest announced that more than 63 million votes were cast, which is more than any president in U.S. history has ever received. In a related story, this morning Hillary Clinton bought a karaoke machine." --Conan O'Brien

  

"Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is trying to win over the American people. It's sort of a PR campaign. Earlier today, over at the U.N., he was signing baseballs that said, 'I'm sorry I enriched uranium'." --David Letterman

"According to a new survey, Hillary Clinton's popularity rating is down to its lowest point in over a year. When Bill Clinton heard this, he said, 'If there's one thing Hillary can do, it's bring polls down.'" --Conan O'Brein

Crooked CEOs (domestic terrorists)

"Speaking of Congress, the other day -- very quietly -- they voted themselves a $3,300 pay raise. Why not? Job well done. A lot of added expenses this year: legal fees, criminal defense lawyers."  --Jay Leno

  

"Congress gave itself a big raise this week and voted against the minimum wage, which is kind of ironic. I mean if anybody should getting minimum wage, it's Congress." --Jay Leno

  

"Apparently at the G-8 luncheon, the president, not realizing his mic was on, made some comments about Syria, Kofi Annan and Diet Coke. Diet Coke came out on top. Anyway, the mainstream media seems to think we have a right to know what he said to Tony Blair. Well, we don't folks. If we need to know, it would have been put in a press release. I've said it before, reporting is putting press releases into your own words." --Stephen Colbert

if anybody should getting minimum wage, it's Congress (Why not? Job well done.)

"Speaking of Congress, the other day -- very quietly -- they voted themselves a $3,300 pay raise. Why not? Job well done. A lot of added expenses this year: legal fees, criminal defense lawyers."  --Jay Leno

  

"Congress gave itself a big raise this week and voted against the minimum wage, which is kind of ironic. I mean if anybody should getting minimum wage, it's Congress." --Jay Leno 

"Apparently at the G-8 luncheon, the president, not realizing his mic was on, made some comments about Syria, Kofi Annan and Diet Coke. Diet Coke came out on top. Anyway, the mainstream media seems to think we have a right to know what he said to Tony Blair. Well, we don't folks. If we need to know, it would have been put in a press release. I've said it before, reporting is putting press releases into your own words." --Stephen Colbert

the way he eats a buttered roll in front of company (she brings polls down)

"A lot of people were offended by President Bush using a four-letter word at the G-8 Summit the other day. Were you offended? I was more offended by the way he eats a buttered roll in front of company." --Jay Leno

"Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is trying to win over the American people. It's sort of a PR campaign. Earlier today, over at the U.N., he was signing baseballs that said, 'I'm sorry I enriched uranium'." --David Letterman

"According to a new survey, Hillary Clinton's popularity rating is down to its lowest point in over a year. When Bill Clinton heard this, he said, 'If there's one thing Hillary can do, it's bring polls down.'" --Conan O'Brein

Albert Einstein, trailblazer, a pioneer (Texas National Guard)

"President Bush left for the G8 Summit today in Russia. The White House says he's going to try and convince other world leaders to develop nuclear power. Apparently, it's working, because so far, Bush has convinced Iran and North Korea." --Conan O'Brien

"Last year the U.S. Army missed it's recruiting goal. But this year not only did they meet their goal, they exceeded it. They got 80,000 recruits. The bad news is all 80,000 of them used their connections to get in the Texas National Guard." --Jimmy Kimmel

"According to a series of just published letters that Albert Einstein sent to his second wife, he had ten mistresses. He would send his wife letters about his mistresses and then ask her for advice. Or as Bill Clinton called him, 'a trailblazer, a pioneer.'" --Jay Leno

He's going to invade the sun (hot buttered roll)

"Good news from the White House. President Bush last week had his annual physical and he passed. He passed his annual physical. No word yet on the mental." --David Letterman

"A Tomahawk cruise missile fell off a truck in the Bronx this week. A cruise missile, isn't that unbelievable? You know what that means? There are now more weapons of mass destruction in the Bronx than there are in Iraq." --Jay Leno

 

"When it gets hot, so hot you can't stand it and the steam is rising from your scalp, do you worry about global warming? Well, George Bush is now also worried about global warming, but he has a plan. He's going to invade the sun." --David Letterman

"A lot of people were offended by President Bush using a four-letter word at the G-8 Summit the other day. Were you offended? I was more offended by the way he eats a buttered roll in front of company." --Jay Leno

Naturally, the media is making a big deal about the president cursing (camels)

"Apparently our fearless leader caused quite a stir at the G-8 Summit when microphones captured him in an unguarded moment [on screen: Bush saying, 'See, the irony is that what they need to do is, to get Syria to get Hezbollah to stop doing this shit and it's over.'] Naturally, the media is making a big deal about the president cursing. Ohh, salty language. Do you know how lucky we are that that's all that was caught? I'm impressed the president was on topic. You know, there's just as good of a chance that the microphones could have picked up him pointing out some [German Chancellor Angela] Merkel cameltoe." --Jon Stewart

"Some of Bush's other comments, however, were less focused [on screen: Bush saying, 'I'm not going to talk too damn long like the rest of them. Some of these guys talk too long.'] Come on Condi, you got to crumble the Ritalin into his food or he's not taking it." --Jon Stewart

"The worst part about this heat wave across the country is  Al Gore walking around going, 'I told you so.'" --Jay Leno

reporting is putting press releases into your own words (ejected for head-butting)

"It's so hot today, George W. Bush told Al Roker to stop doing that [bleeped]. That's what President Bush said at the G-8 Summit. He was overheard using dirty language at the G-8 Summit and not only that, later he was ejected for head-butting." --David Letterman

"President Bush is in Russia for the G-8 Summit and he has an agenda. A lot of people are stunned -- he has an agenda? He wants to talk about the hot spots in the world. He wants to talk about fighting in the Middle East. He wants to talk about missiles in North Korea. He wants to talk about 'Pirates in the Caribbean'." --David Letterman

"Apparently at the G-8 luncheon, the president, not realizing his mic was on, made some comments about Syria, Kofi Annan and Diet Coke. Diet Coke came out on top. Anyway, the mainstream media seems to think we have a right to know what he said to Tony Blair. Well, we don't folks. If we need to know, it would have been put in a press release. I've said it before, reporting is putting press releases into your own words." --Stephen Colbert

a Hummer the size of an elementary school (global warming s**t)

"We set an all-time record for power consumption here in California yesterday. Our governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger, whom you may know from such movies as 'Kindergarten Cop,' has been urging Californians to try and conserve energy, which is interesting to hear from a guy who drives a Hummer the size of an elementary school." --Jimmy Kimmel

 "So hot today down in Washington, D.C., President Bush said, 'Maybe there is something with the global warming s**t.'" --David Letterman

"President Bush is back from the G-8 Summit over there in Russia. The G-8 Summit went very well. Today the world leaders announced they are still very close to finding a replacement for Star Jones." --David Letterman

"That's the big story, President Bush being recorded using a four-letter word at the G-8 Summit in Russia. At first everyone thought he had mispronounced the word 'Shiite.'" --Jay Leno

I was more offended by the way he eats a buttered roll in front of company

"A lot of people were offended by President Bush using a four-letter word at the G-8 Summit the other day. Were you offended? I was more offended by the way he eats a buttered roll in front of company." --Jay Leno

"White House press secretary Tony Snow says that when President Bush was told he was recorded saying a four-letter word, he rolled his eyes and laughed it off, which is ironic. Bush is now reacting to himself the way everybody else does." --Jay Leno

"The situation in the Mideast is not looking good. Yesterday Vice President Dick Cheney said when it comes to war, Americans need to know where he stands. I don't even know where he stands with those seven deferments. I think it's near the back." --Jay Leno