I think since George W. Bush, actually (later he was ejected for head-butting)

"Do you folks know anything about the Skull And Bones society?

It's like a fraternal organization, at Yale University. Well, they're

auctioning off a human skull. And I was thinking about this. I

believe this is the first empty skull to come out of Yale, well,

I think since George W. Bush, actually." –David Letterman

"It's so hot today, George W. Bush told Al Roker to stop doing that [bleeped]. That's what President Bush said at the G-8 Summit. He was overheard using dirty language at the G-8 Summit and not only that, later he was ejected for head-butting." --David Letterman

"Next week Katie Couric begins as the anchor of the 'CBS Evening News.' Katie is the first solo female anchor. Pretty good if you don't count the two years Tom Brokaw worked in a skirt and heels." --David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

You won't even stand up for me right here at home (the political version of the guitar solo from 'Freebird.')

September 2012

"Happy birthday to New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, who is 50 years old. They had a cake for him. He blew out the candles and then he wished for another cake." –David Letterman

"Today Scarlett Johansson, Kerry Washington, and Eva Longoria all spoke at the Democratic convention. This means that Obama has all about clinched the crucial 13-year-old boy vote." –Conan O'Brien

"This morning Tom Brokaw had to be taken to the hospital after accidentally taking an Ambien sleeping pill. And tonight he was taken to the hospital again after accidentally listening to a speech by Joe Biden." –Conan O'Brien

"You know who's a big supporter of President Obama? Scarlett Johansson. I think I'll wait until I hear what Katherine Heigl has to say." –David Letterman

"Everyone is still talking about Bill Clinton's speech last night in Charlotte. It was a remarkable speech, 45 minutes long and 6,000 words. Like the political version of the guitar solo from 'Freebird.'" –Craig Ferguson

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Trust me, that gets old really fast (Oh. Touche)

"And Barack Obama told Tom Brokaw the other day on 'Meet the Press' that what he's looking for in a VP is a person who will tell him when they thought he was wrong, to which President Bush said, 'Trust me, that gets old really fast.'" --Jay Leno

Why doesn't the media ever give credence to a single story based on unsubstantiated rumors? [on screen: Dick Cheney saying, before the beginning of the Iraq war, that there is 'no doubt' that Saddam Hussein has weapons of mass destruction]. Oh. Touche." --Stephen Colbert

"This is the first convention I could remember, where they didn't say the name of the man who should be the titular head of the party. He is the president of the United States, George Bush. Except for the protestors outside, you never heard that name, or any reference to George Bush, except for the part about loving children with special needs." -Bill Maher

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

You know folks it's a lot cheaper to just buy a hat that says I have a small p*nis (They're still rich)

This blew my mind. A car company is coming out with a super-sized truck, listen to this, that is four feet longer two feet taller and twice as heavy as a Hummer. You know folks it's a lot cheaper to just buy a hat that says I have a small penis. --Conan O’Brien 9/17/2004

John Kerry called President Bush to concede the election. The call apparently lasted less than five minutes. The phone call would have been even shorter but the first three minutes President Bush was talking into the wrong end of the phone. --Conan O’Brien 11/4/2004

According to the latest ratings twice as many people watched Tom Brokaw's coverage of the election on NBC than watched the coverage on Fox News. Apparently the ratings for Fox News would have been higher but Bill O'Reilly kept asking women if he could poll them. --Conan O’Brien 11/4/2004

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

God wants my tax-exempt ministry to get another luxury jet (trailblazers and pioneers)

Pope Francis is calling for an audit of all the Catholic Church’s wealth. In a related story, Pope Francis is missing. –Conan O’Brien

"You can understand why this lawyer fellow let his guard down with Cheney, because if you're out hunting with a politician, you think, 'If I'm going to get it, it's going to be in the back.'" –Craig Ferguson

"According to a series of just published letters that Albert Einstein sent to his second wife, he had ten mistresses. He would send his wife letters about his mistresses and then ask her for advice. Or as Bill Clinton called him, 'a trailblazer, a pioneer.'" --Jay Leno

"And Barack Obama told Tom Brokaw the other day on 'Meet the Press' that what he's looking for in a VP is a person who will tell him when they thought he was wrong, to which President Bush said, 'Trust me, that gets old really fast.'" --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

It's the 10th Anniversary of the Great Recession (We baked you a cake)

President Bush has been speaking out about the Wall Street bailout. And today, a reporter asked him what he planned to do about AIG. Yeah. Bush got upset and said, 'Why does everyone always spell in front of me?'" --Conan O'Brien

"This is what I love about this whole thing. This is what Congress said today. 'The days of getting money just for the asking are over.' And then they asked for $700 billion. Here's the way a bailout works. A failed President Bush and a failed Congress invest $700 billion of your money in failed businesses. Believe me, this can't fail." --Jay Leno

"And Barack Obama told Tom Brokaw the other day on 'Meet the Press' that what he's looking for in a VP is a person who will tell him when they thought he was wrong, to which President Bush said, 'Trust me, that gets old really fast.'" --Jay Leno

Why doesn't the media ever give credence to a single story based on unsubstantiated rumors? [on screen: Dick Cheney saying, before the beginning of the Iraq war, that there is 'no doubt' that Saddam Hussein has weapons of mass destruction]. Oh. Touche." --Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

to which President Bush said, 'Trust me, that gets old really fast (Why does everyone always spell in front of me?)

President Bush has been speaking out about the Wall Street bailout. And today, a reporter asked him what he planned to do about AIG. Yeah. Bush got upset and said, 'Why does everyone always spell in front of me?'" --Conan O'Brien

"This is what I love about this whole thing. This is what Congress said today. 'The days of getting money just for the asking are over.' And then they asked for $700 billion. Here's the way a bailout works. A failed president and a failed Congress invest $700 billion of your money in failed businesses. Believe me, this can't fail." --Jay Leno

"And Barack Obama told Tom Brokaw the other day on 'Meet the Press' that what he's looking for in a VP is a person who will tell him when they thought he was wrong, to which President Bush said, 'Trust me, that gets old really fast.'" --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Trust me, that gets old really fast (the Bill Clinton bounce)

"And Barack Obama told Tom Brokaw the other day on 'Meet the Press' that what he's looking for in a VP is a person who will tell him when they thought he was wrong, to which President Bush said, 'Trust me, that gets old really fast.'" --Jay Leno

Why doesn't the media ever give credence to a single story based on unsubstantiated rumors? [on screen: Dick Cheney saying, before the beginning of the Iraq war, that there is 'no doubt' that Saddam Hussein has weapons of mass destruction]. Oh. Touche." --Stephen Colbert

"And they say that Barack Obama now is a little down in the polls. Now this is a surprise, because after they announced the vice presidential candidate, they were hoping to get that Joe Biden bounce. Now don't confuse that Joe Biden bounce with a Bill Clinton bounce -- that'll get you impeached." --David Letterman



http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #FeeltheBern @justicedems @BrandNew535

General Tso, I love your chicken (you know what $700 billion buys?)

"President Bush arrived in Beijing earlier today. And before stepping out of the plane, he tested the air with a canary. But they got together, the Chinese, and threw a big state dinner for President Bush in his honor. They served Peking lame duck. And President Bush, he doesn’t know what he’s doing over there. He turned to the president of China, and he said, 'General Tso, I love your chicken.'" --David Letterman

"You know, the interesting thing is, these numbers are so big that people can't even comprehend them. Like $700 billion Bailout. See, the best way to understand large amounts of money is to think of it in terms of what it can buy. For example, you know what $700 billion buys? It can buy you 100 senators and 435 congressmen." --Jay Leno



"And Barack Obama told Tom Brokaw the other day on 'Meet the Press' that what he's looking for in a VP is a person who will tell him when they thought he was wrong, to which President Bush said, 'Trust me, that gets old really fast.'" --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #JusticeDemocrats

Trust me, that gets old really fast (Hindsight is 2020)

"And Barack Obama told Tom Brokaw the other day on 'Meet the Press' that what he's looking for in a VP is a person who will tell him when they thought he was wrong, to which President Bush said, 'Trust me, that gets old really fast.'" --Jay Leno

"And I guess the McCain campaign has a new theme song, it's by Ludacris. Did you hear this? Well, I guess the new song by rapper Ludacris is causing some controversy for Barack Obama, everybody's trying to help and it doesn't help, because it attacks Hillary and Bush and John McCain in a very distasteful way. Yeah. In fact when John McCain heard that Obama had Ludacris on his iPod, he was stunned, he said 'What's an iPod'?" --Jay Leno

"And as you know, the McCain campaign is running that commercial where they're comparing Barack Obama to various Hollywood celebrities. And as you know, if there's one thing the Republicans will not stand for, it's electing some Hollywood celebrity to public office. Except for Ronald Reagan, Fred Thompson, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Clint Eastwood -- you know, except for those." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #JusticeDemocrats

Jimmy Dore: Tom Brokaw Unwittingly Reveals Whats Wrong With Corporate Journalists

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html
#Bernie2020
#JusticeDemocrats

Trust me, that gets old really fast (one of the worst disasters to hit US)

"Yesterday, President Bush announced there are going to be some big changes in intelligence in the White House. Yeah, he's leaving." --Jay Leno

"Well listen, Barack Obama accused Republicans of trying to make others fear him, because, and I quote, he 'doesn't look like the other presidents on the dollar bill.' So the choice is, do you want to elect a guy who doesn't look like the president on the dollar bill, or do you want to elect a guy who looks older than the president on the dollar bill?" --Jay Leno

  

"And Barack Obama told Tom Brokaw the other day on 'Meet the Press' that what he's looking for in a VP is a person who will tell him when they thought he was wrong, to which President Bush said, 'Trust me, that gets old really fast.'" --Jay Leno

He took a nationally televised dump on their daughter (dick moves)

"Demeaning Obama is not why this is a dick move by McCain. It's a dick move by McCain because one of the fine young ladies featured in this ad (on screen: photo of Paris Hilton)...her parents, the Hiltons, contributed $4,600, the maximum you can contribute, to the campaign of none other than John McCain. John McCain is saying to the Hiltons, 'I thank you kindly for your support. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go take a nationally televised dump on your daughter.'" --Jon Stewart, on McCain's attack ad comparing Obama to Paris Hilton and Britney Spears

"Barack Obama told Tom Brokaw, the other day, what he's looking for in a vice president is someone who would tell him when he’s wrong. Wouldn't Hillary be the best candidate? She's been telling him he's been dead wrong since the beginning on this." –Jay Leno 

the two years Tom Brokaw worked in a skirt and heels (al Qaeda video)

"Al Qaeda has released another video. This is rather strange. It features a 28-year-old American named Adam Pearlman from Orange County, California. Who is in al Qaeda? How crazy is that? Finally, an American takes a job away from somebody overseas, and it's in al Qaeda." --Jay Leno

"Have you seen the video? The guy's wearing a white robe and a white turban, and he's demanding that all Americans convert to Islam. That shows you how backwards al Qaeda is right there. I mean, who wears white after Labor Day?." --Jay Leno

"Next week Katie Couric begins as the anchor of the 'CBS Evening News.' Katie is the first solo female anchor. Pretty good if you don't count the two years Tom Brokaw worked in a skirt and heels." --David Letterman

Because the only other NBC person we have is Bill Cosby

"There's a rumor that NBC is going to have Tom Brokaw fill in temporarily as the NBC News anchor. When asked why, a network spokesperson said, 'Because the only other NBC person we have is Bill Cosby.'" –Conan O'Brien



"Chinese President Xi Jinping is planning to make his first official state visit to the U.S. Although I'm worried it'll be a little awkward when he visits a school and says, 'This factory is terrible.'" –Jimmy Fallon