just because they’re cutting off your food and want to cut off your health insurance, that doesn’t mean they don’t care (Trust Me)

The government shutdown, now the longest in US history is at 37 days. Trump has been desperately trying to convince anyone who will listen that Democrats are responsible for the shutdown and that it has nothing to do with him trying to hide the Epstein files. The gaslighting has reached a fever pitch, as Trump cuts off the supply of food to children, families, senior citizens, etc.

The Republican House speaker, Mike Johnson, wants you to know: just because they’re cutting off your food and want to cut off your health insurance, that doesn’t mean they don’t care.

As Johnson told reporters: “Every hardworking American in any place that’s missed a paycheck, anyone who has been made to suffer … anyone who is hurting, you have a home in the Republican party.”

Yes, you have a home in the Republican party! You’ll be living under the stairs like Harry Potter and you’re not allowed in the fridge, but you do have a home. —Jimmy Kimmel

The government shutdown, is now the longest in US history at 38 days. The shutdown has already wreaked havoc on air travel, and that havoc is about to get even reekier, as air traffic controllers aren’t being paid and many aren’t showing up to work. So many, in fact, that the Federal Aviation Administration has directed airlines to cut 10% of their flights at the busiest airports. So unfortunately it may be time to try your new favorite airline: the bus. If you’re traveling for Thanksgiving, you might want to leave now. —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Where the workers set the rules (Also plummeting 90%, sales of El Caminos)

Illegal border crossings have plummeted 90% since Trump returned to the White House. Also plummeting 90%, sales of El Caminos. —Greg Gutfeld

Hillary Clinton criticized Elon Musk and DOGE for hiring a 22-year-old to review the FAA. She's just mad because the last time someone hired a 22-year-old she banged her husband. —Greg Gutfeld

Frontier Airlines may actually merge with Spirit Air. Their new name, Greyhound. —Greg Gutfeld

Katie Couric said that covering Donald Trump is really hard, and that’s the first time that really hard and Katie Couric have been used in the same sentence. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Nothing To See Here. (He better hope they're brain donors)

"Texas Gov. Rick Perry says he's taking steps to run for president in 2016. In fact, this week he's meeting with donors. He better hope they're brain donors." –Jay Leno

"The head of the Federal Aviation Administration has been arrested on charges of drunk driving. I don't want to say how much the guy drank, but when they pulled him over, he was driving the beverage cart.'" –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

So unlike their planes, they are totally screwed (I don’t believe he said that … once)

According to a new book, Donald Trump has praised Hitler in private conversations with aides, and once said “Hitler did some good things.” Oh, come on. I don’t believe he said that … once. —Seth Meyers

According to a new report, Boeing has failed more than one-third of Federal Aviation Administration audits on its production process for the 737 Max jet. So unlike their planes, they are totally screwed. —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It's never a good sign when you see a jumbo jet taking the I-95 to Tampa (here ONLY for a limited time)

Republican candidates aired a dozen new TV ads last week, even though recent data has shown that TV ads are mostly ineffective. Chris Christie was like, “If TV ads aren't effective, why do I keep going to Wendy's for their Gouda Bacon Cheeseburger, here ONLY for a limited time?” –Jimmy Fallon

“Well, guys, everyone is talking about this — early this morning, all flights across the U.S. were grounded due to a failure with the FAA's computer system. Yeah. Zero flights took off, but somehow everyone's luggage still ended up in Pittsburgh. That's right. No flights took off. It's never a good sign when you see a jumbo jet taking the I-95 to Tampa.” —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Good luck getting Governor Chris Christie to sign that one (the anniversary of the Japanese attack on Pearl Jam)

"The head of the Federal Aviation Administration has been arrested on charges of drunk driving. I don't want to say how much the guy drank, but when they pulled him over, he was driving the beverage cart.'" –Jay Leno

"New Jersey legislators want to ban eating while driving. Good luck getting Governor Chris Christie to sign that one." –Jay Leno

"There was an embarrassing moment for Rick Perry. He announced that it was the anniversary of the Japanese attack on Pearl Jam." –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Although, to be fair, any company Trump runs is eventually nonprofit (Four score and seven ratselttab)

I know this happened five days ago, but I will not be denied the chance to enjoy Trump’s tweet from just after midnight last Wednesday: “Despite the constant negative press covfefe.” OK. Strong statement. Bold. Presidential. Reminds me of the first draft of the Gettysburg address: “Four score and seven ratselttab.” –Stephen Colbert

Of course, the internet lost their covfefe over this. Why did the president type that? It was the new “What color is the dress?” But instead of “white versus blue,” it was “sleepy versus stroke.” –Stephen Colbert

It started with Trump’s plan to turn the air traffic control functions of the FAA into a nonprofit corporation. Although, to be fair, any company Trump runs is eventually nonprofit. –Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Cool, a plane collision we can't be blamed for? Love it! (66% effective)

March 2023

“Well, guys, some big news from overseas — yesterday, two Russian fighter jets collided with a U.S. surveillance drone and sent it crashing into the Black Sea. The damage would've been a lot worse, but luckily, on its way down, the drone bounced off a bunch of Chinese spy balloons. Yeah, the whole thing was pretty scary. Meanwhile, the FAA was like, ‘Cool, a plane collision we can't be blamed for? Love it! Alright, hey, alright.’” —Jimmy Fallon

“Yep, Aaron Rodgers could be coming to New York. Jets fans were like, ‘Wait, is this what happiness feels like? I like it.’ Unfortunately, the Jets are owned by Johnson & Johnson, which means Rogers will only be 66% effective. Better than nothing.” —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It's never a good sign when you see a jumbo jet taking the I-95 to Tampa (I bought a spinach and feta omelet out of the trunk of some guy's car)

January 2023

“Well, guys, everyone is talking about this — early this morning, all flights across the U.S. were grounded due to a failure with the FAA's computer system. Yeah. Zero flights took off, but somehow everyone's luggage still ended up in Pittsburgh. That's right. No flights took off. It's never a good sign when you see a jumbo jet taking the I-95 to Tampa.” —Jimmy Fallon

“It's never fun being stuck in an airport. Families headed to Disney told their kids the luggage carousel was the "It's a Small World" ride. They're like, ‘Just calm down and sit next to the Tumi bag. I'll take your picture.’” —Jimmy Fallon

“While the cost of other food has declined in recent months, the price of eggs still remain extremely high. Now when you order eggs in a diner, the waiter's like, ‘Get a load of Jeff Bezos over here.’ It's hard finding cheap eggs. This morning, I bought a spinach and feta omelet out of the trunk of some guy's car.” —Jimmy Fallon

“Meanwhile, I saw that Guinness just announced that they're raising the price of a pint in Ireland. One politician suggested drinking water instead. And doctors say he should be out of the hospital by Sunday.” —Jimmy Fallon

“Did you guys see this? I heard that Subway might be sold for more than $10 billion. Yeah, the sale could be done in a few months or a little longer if they want their Subway toasted.” —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I was not the worst in history. I was the worst in math and science. (the second angriest wife in the state of New York)

"The good news is Hurricane Gustav has been downgraded to a

tropical storm. Again, I don't think President Bush really

understands this stuff. When he heard the levees were fine, he

said, 'Thank God, but how are the Goldbergs? How are they

doing?'" --Jay Leno

"The head of the Federal Aviation Administration … has been arrested on charges of drunk driving. I don't want to say how much the guy drank, but when they pulled him over, he was driving the beverage cart.'" –Jay Leno

 

"Maybe some of you don't know the story, today Eliot Spitzer admitted publicly that he was involved in a prostitution ring, which means Hillary Clinton, is now, only the second angriest wife in the state of New York." --Jay Leno

 

"Hillary Clinton said in a speech this week that President Bush is one of the worst in history. And President Bush was furious, oh man, you see what he said? He said 'I was not the worst in history. I was the worst in math and science.'" --Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Long story short, I'm not allowed to sunbathe on my roof anymore (Walk It Off, Grandpa)

It's come out that the new Republican healthcare bill will hike premiums by 700 percent for the old and sick. It’s not a good sign that the title of the bill is “Walk It Off, Grandpa.” –Conan O’Brien

In protest of President Trump abandoning the Paris climate accord, the CEO of Disney has resigned from Trump’s business advisory council. It’s not a good sign when a company led by a giant talking mouse is telling the president to be more realistic. –Conan O’Brien

The FAA is investigating why a drone appeared in the sky during a San Diego Padres game. Authorities have already ruled out the possibility that someone actually wanted to watch a Padres game. –Conan O’Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

the anniversary of the Japanese attack on Pearl Jam (“Not us!” said the New York Giants)

"The head of the Federal Aviation Administration has

been arrested on charges of drunk driving. I don't want

to say how much the guy drank, but when they pulled

him over, he was driving the beverage cart.'" –Jay Leno

"There was an embarrassing moment for Rick Perry.

He announced that it was the anniversary of the

Japanese attack on Pearl Jam." –Jay Leno

According to a new poll, 71 percent of American men

believe they face pressure to act interested in sports.

“Not us!” said the New York Giants. –Seth Meyers

An Italian winery is releasing five limited-edition

bottles of Hello Kitty-themed wine for the holiday

season. It’s the perfect gift for your alcoholic niece.

–Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/12/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and_10.html

#1001Ways #RandomThoughts #poetry

 

That number jumps to 100 percent if you only ask the animals (an hour of theater)

"Donald Trump said that if President Obama releases his birth certificate, Trump will release his tax return. Obama said he won't run for a second term if Trump releases that thing on his head." –Conan O'Brien 

"The FAA suspended an air traffic controller for watching a movie on the job. The controller said he was only watching a movie because he couldn't sleep." –Conan O'Brien

"Prominent people are coming forward to attest to President Obama's American citizenship. The Governor of Hawaii just said he first met Obama just days after he was born. He knew it was Obama, because he kept pointing to his diaper and calling for change." –Conan O'Brien 

"It just came out that Donald Trump once called Ronald Reagan a con man who couldn't deliver the goods.' Trump also called Abraham Lincoln 'a bearded moron who couldn't even sit through an hour of theater.'" –Conan O'Brien

"Sarah Palin has a 61 percent unfavorable rating in Alaska. That number jumps to 100 percent if you only ask the animals." –Conan O'Brien 

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

I don't always trust politicians, but when I do... (If we find enough oil, we could one day invade ourselves)

"President Obama announced this week that he is opening more sites for offshore oil drilling. Do you know what that means? If we find enough oil, we could one day invade ourselves." –Jay Leno

"In fact, one eyewitness said 'some of the things going on in the club were almost too masochistic for the Republicans to watch.' Like in one room, there was a video being played over and over of President Obama signing the healthcare bill." –Jay Leno

"The FAA announced that they are going to allow airline pilots to take antidepressants. So now, if your pilot is drunk, at least he'll be a happy drunk." –Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Another way of saying that, banks took $30,000,000,000 from people that had no money

"In the latest count, there are now 25 politicians running for president -- and 15 of them also claim to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby." --Jay Leno

"Supreme Court Justice Scalia's daughter was arrested in Illinois for DUI and child endangerment. She says she's gonna fight it all the way to the Supreme Court." --Jay Leno

"The FAA is very close to raising the retirement age of pilots. That means pretty soon both astronauts and pilots will be wearing diapers." --Jay Leno

"Al Gore will be speaking at this year's Democratic Convention -- or as we call it, the Oscars." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

School Books-Lunch-Last Will and Testament (Eric loves planes!)

There's an opening for the top position of the Federal Aviation Administration right now – this is a job that oversees 47,000 employees and every flight in America. And, according to a report, President Trump is considering filling the position with the pilot who flies his private jet. Trump told people, "He's a smart guy and knows what's going on." Trump appoints federal positions the way your neighbor recommends a plumber. "I got a guy. Trust me, this dude's on the level." --James Corden

Maybe we should be proud of Trump for not nominating one of his kids. He could have been like, "Oh, you need someone to oversee the fate of everyone on an airplane? Eric loves planes!" --James Corden

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

any company Trump runs is eventually nonprofit (sleepy versus stroke)

It started with Trump’s plan to turn the air traffic control functions of the FAA into a nonprofit corporation. Although, to be fair, any company Trump runs is eventually nonprofit. –Stephen Colbert

I know this happened five days ago, but I will not be denied the chance to enjoy Trump’s tweet from just after midnight last Wednesday: “Despite the constant negative press covfefe.” OK. Strong statement. Bold. Presidential. Reminds of the first draft of the Gettysburg address: “Four score and seven ratselttab.” –Stephen Colbert

Of course, the internet lost their covfefe over this. Why did the president type that? It was the new “What color is the dress?” But instead of “white versus blue,” it was “sleepy versus stroke.” –Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #JusticeDemocrats

Walk It Off, Grandpa (We Sabotaged Bernie for HRC's donors)

The FAA is investigating why a drone appeared in the sky during a San Diego Padres game. Authorities have already ruled out the possibility that someone actually wanted to watch a Padres game. –Conan O’Brien

It's come out that the new Republican healthcare bill will hike premiums by 700 percent for the old and sick. It’s not a good sign that the title of the bill is “Walk It Off, Grandpa.” –Conan O’Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”