So far though I can only come up with two reasons to see it (We’ve already met one camp counselor)

Next Tuesday is tax day Here's a helpful tip. Any time you spend watching Fox and Friends can be written off as a charitable donation. —Greg Gutfeld

A Dolly Parton exhibit is coming to the Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum. So far though I can only come up with two reasons to see it. —Greg Gutfeld

The New York Post claims women are paying 15 grand to attend orgasm camp where they learn how to orgasm. We’ve already met one camp counselor, Bill Clinton. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

less relevant than an exercise segment on The View (Let them sink)

It's this same tunnel vision that has the Democrats less relevant than an exercise segment on The View. You can manufacture all the outrage you want but it's a big circle jerk and they're the jerks. Their concerns no longer mirror America’s. That's cuz they were supposed to inform us not try to control us. What the lefty media refuses to mention that the operation was a total success. Hell, it was only by accident that this story fell into their laps anyway. 

And who hasn't added the wrong person to a group text? That's how I got that picture of Matt Lauer’s p*nis. But it showed what the Dems are incapable of decisive action. Instead they endlessly prattle over process. Hell, way back when even Obama had the stones to hit Bin Laden. This week is a great reminder of how the media only goes to work when it's about Republicans. Remember the fake laptop story, Crossfire Hurricane, Covid’s origins or the fact that Joe wasn't running the country? 

Those were real scandals, but these hacks were as quiet as a drunk peeing on a furry toilet seat cover. The Dems launched a coup and censored Americans and the media yawned like they were watching Fox and Friends. So look for the media to do all it can to keep this on life support, but really it's their own irrelevant jobs they're trying to preserve, so don't toss them a lifeline. Let them sink. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It's like he never left (This Country Is Out Of Order)

"The European Space Agency landed a probe on a comet 317 million miles from Earth. When you get discouraged by how much attention people pay to Kim Kardashian's buttocks, remember that there are also people out there that know how to land a spacecraft on a moving comet 317 million miles away. They're out there." –Jimmy Kimmel

President Trump, on his first day back in the United States after a 12-day trip through Asia, started the morning with a flurry of tweets. Trump took to Twitter today to brag about the stock market, attack The New York Times, promote "Fox and Friends," promote Sean Hannity, criticize three UCLA basketball players, send his condolences after another multi-victim shooting to the wrong city in the wrong state. And that's it, I think. It's like he never left. –Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

They didn't need TVs. They could see it from their porch. (Toolbox)

"Sunday night was the debut of the reality show, 'Sarah Palin's Alaska.' It got huge ratings. Even people over in Russia were watching and they didn't need TVs. They could see it from their porch. " –Jay Leno

"Oh, and Mitt Romney was on 'Fox and Friends.' He talked about his plan to run for president in 2012. It could be Mitt Romney versus Sarah Palin, which would be quite a matchup. I mean, one is a former governor obsessed with looks and hair. And the other, of course, is from Alaska." –Jay Leno

"Herman Cain now says he's consulting with his family whether to stay in the race. Really? You think that's what he's discussing with his wife, about staying in the race? How about staying in the house?" –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Now you can do to avocados what Donald Trump did to Jeb Bush's spirit (I will never have to take Viagra again)

It came out that Donald Trump ranks his favorite Fox News reporters on how much they are loyal to him. Sean Hannity gets a 10. He gets an 11 if he’s wearing heels. But Trump’s top ranking host is Fox and Friends host Steve Doocy, who gets a 12. When Doocy heard this he said, “I will never have to take Viagra again.” --Jimmy Kimmel

All the candidates have merchandise for sale. Even the candidates who've dropped out. Jeb Bush has the “Guaca Bowle.” This is a guacamole bowl with Jeb's logo on it. Now you can do to avocados what Donald Trump did to Jeb Bush's spirit. –Jimmy Kimmel

Chris Christie flew all the way to Florida to stand behind Donald Trump supporting him. Throughout the speech, he looks genuinely miserable. He looks like he saw the bottom of a supposedly bottomless pasta bowl at Olive Garden. He looks as though someone just told him butterscotch causes cancer. –Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

By the way, for Mike Pence, ‘looking you in the eye’ is second base (And irony is now as dead as his eyes)

“Mike Pence didn’t wear a mask when visiting the Mayo Clinic. Pence said he wanted to be able to look people in the eye to thank them personally for their sacrifice. You can still look them in the eye with a mask! It’s not a blindfold.” — Stephen Colbert

“By the way, for Mike Pence, ‘looking you in the eye’ is second base.” — Stephen Colbert

“See, he didn’t want to wear a mask because he wanted to look them in the eye and say thank you. What kind of a mask was he planning to wear, Spider-Man?” — Jimmy Kimmel

“Meanwhile, Team Trump is busy declaring victory. The president’s pretty little son-in-law was on ‘Fox and Friends’ this morning. He said the federal government ‘rose to the challenge’ and that ‘This is a great success story.’ And irony is now as dead as his eyes.” — Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

the largest gathering of people who believe that vaccines are witchcraft (I will never have to take Viagra again)

President Trump spoke at the CPAC Convention today. For those of you who don’t know what CPAC is, it’s the largest gathering of people who believe that vaccines are witchcraft. --Jimmy Kimmel

It came out that Trump ranks his favorite Fox News reporters on how much they are loyal to him. Sean Hannity gets a 10. He gets an 11 if he’s wearing heels. But Trump’s top ranking host is Fox and Friends host Steve Doocy, who gets a 12. When Doocy heard this he said, “I will never have to take Viagra again.” --Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

the book is written by bin Laden's dumb son, Osama W. bin Laden (And the other, of course, is from Alaska)

"Oh, and Mitt Romney was on 'Fox and Friends.' He talked about his plan to run for president in 2012. It could be Mitt Romney versus Sarah Palin, which would be quite a matchup. I mean, one is a former governor obsessed with looks and hair. And the other, of course, is from Alaska." –Jay Leno

"Congratulations to President Obama on becoming an uncle. His brother-in-law, Craig Robinson, and his wife just had a son in Oregon. Or so they claim. Lou Dobbs is demanding to see the birth certificate." –Jimmy Kimmel

"I was reading a book about Osama bin Laden, and it was written by his son, and according to the son, in the book about his father, the kid claims Osama bin Laden was a cruel parent. Gosh, you think you know somebody. But the book is written by bin Laden's dumb son, Osama W. bin Laden." –David Letterman

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

BREAKING! GOP Message to Children! Where do I know that guy from? (ten Bill Gates and 35 Oprahs)

"Yesterday, the federal government announced a massive plan to bail out a number of banking institutions. One expert said it might cost Americans more than a trillion dollars. To put that in perspective, ten Bill Gates and 35 Oprahs still don't add up to a trillion dollars." --Jimmy Kimmel

A lot of people were skeptical when they heard Trump only weighs 239 pounds. But it actually checks out when you remember that for the weigh-in, Trump took off his clothes and hair. --Jimmy Fallon

Still, they say Trump hopes to drop 10-15 pounds this year. While Melania hopes to drop 239. --Jimmy Fallon

But this morning, Eric Trump went on “Fox & Friends” and passionately defended his father. While at home, the president was like, “Where do I know that guy from...” --Jimmy Fallon

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

It's like he never left (you know what I'm saying)

President Trump, on his first day back in the United States after a 12-day trip through Asia, started the morning with a flurry of tweets. Trump took to Twitter today to brag about the stock market, attack The New York Times, promote "Fox and Friends," promote Sean Hannity, criticize three UCLA basketball players, send his condolences after another multi-victim shooting to the wrong city in the wrong state. And that's it, I think. It's like he never left. –Jimmy Kimmel

The president hasn't weighed in on the biggest story of the week, Roy Moore. Donald Trump's in a real bind. On one hand, he doesn't want to support an accused pedophile for Senate. His other hand is grabbing a woman by the — you know what I'm saying. –Jimmy Kimmel

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JohnHulsecollectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

pretty soon it's just going to be Fox & Friend (sexiest man alive!)

Former White House chief strategist Steve Bannon said this weekend that he tries to be bad cop to President Trump's good cop. Wow. Imagine what a bad cop you have to be for Donald Trump to be your good cop. –Seth Meyers

According to a CNN poll, President Trump's approval rating has reached a new low of 36 percent. He's so unpopular, pretty soon it's just going to be "Fox & Friend." –Seth Meyers

Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross reportedly overstated his wealth by $2 billion to gain a spot on Forbes magazine’s annual list of richest Americans. I'm just glad he finally gave up on sexiest man alive! –Seth Meyers

   

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Fox & Friends has one less viewer (Single payer NOW, Cowards!)

Donald Trump is on a 13-day trip through Asia. “Fox & Friends” has one less viewer. –Stephen Colbert

On his way to Asia, Trump stopped off in Hawaii. Of course, that’s Obama’s home state. He’s very popular there, so people there didn’t want to say to Trump, “Aloha.” They wanted to say, “Aloha.” Look it up. –Stephen Colbert

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Fox & Friends denied that it was Halloween (a lie spread by Hillary Clinton)

To sway the election, Russian agents posted over 1,000 YouTube videos. But then even Putin was like "Oh, my goodness, these comments are so mean." –Jimmy Fallon

The hosts of the "Today" show dressed up as country singers. The hosts of "Good Morning America" dressed up as superheroes, while the hosts of "Fox & Friends" denied that it was Halloween. Yeah. It's a lie, spread by Hillary Clinton. –Jimmy Fallon

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

CNN replaced him with an illegal immigrant (Happiest Place On Earth)

"Tourists are flocking to Minneapolis to the bathroom where Senator Larry Craig was arrested. It's like a tourist attraction. People are actually going to the airport now to see it. In fact, today Senator Craig called it 'The Happiest Place On Earth.' They have a sign at the door: 'Your stance must be this wide to get in.'" --Jay Leno

"CNN's Lou Dobbs will be off the air for two weeks after a tonsillectomy. I thought this was kind of mean. While he is recovering, CNN replaced him with an illegal immigrant." --Jay Leno

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

JOKES: Cool story for her, not so much for the victims of her double homicide

President Trump gave his first address to a joint session of Congress tonight. Now, our show tapes early, so we don’t know what happened, but I’ll bet the people who were there aren’t that sure what happened either. –Seth Meyers

During his interview on “Fox & Friends,” President Trump was unable to name a time when he felt he deserved criticism. Which is pretty surprising, since criticism is the only thing in his life he’s actually earned. –Seth Meyers

A 100-year-old Dutch woman recently persuaded local police to arrest her to fulfill an item on her bucket list. Cool story for her, not so much for the victims of her double homicide. –Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

Her date wore a red laser dot on his head

"In a new interview, President Obama revealed that his daughter Malia recently went to her first prom. She wore a corsage on her wrist while her date wore a red laser dot on his head." –Jimmy Fallon

"The NRA is accusing a Texas gun rights group of going too far after the group has posted YouTube videos of their members walking into restaurants with semi-automatic rifles. The NRA saying you've gone too far is like Johnny Depp telling you you're wearing too many scarves." –Seth Meyers



"I don't want to complicate your hatred of facial hair there, friend, but my guess is if you gave Bob Bergdahl a bandana and a duck, you'd like him just-f**king-fine." -Jon Stewart, reacting to "Fox and Friends" cohost Brian Kilmeade's criticism of the father of freed American POW Bowe Bergdahl 



warrior king Mitt Romney

"There is actually a fourth possibility that Republicans are putting forward, that the plane went down because it was emboldened by Obama's weakness. That apparently is their answer for everything. In fact on Fox and Friends, Steve Doocy said it was a strange coincidence that Obama has a daughter named Malaysia." –Bill Maher



"The Russians took over Crimea and Republicans know who to blame: Obama. Yes, it all happened because Obama is weak, unlike warrior king Mitt Romney. It never would have happened under him." –Bill Maher



"John McCain wrote an op-ed in the New York Times and said Obama has made America look weak because he is not decisive. Right, decisive. You know, once you have picked Sarah Palin as your vice president, decisions aren't something we call you for as a phone-a-friend." –Bill Maher