Madden: New York Jets vs Indianapolis Colts (Super Bowl-Overtime)

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

You know it’s not good when you’re missing the legal competence of Rudy Giuliani (I’ve been to Phish concerts longer than that)

Kevin McCarthy was ousted as speaker of the House on Tuesday after only nine months in the job. Nine months? I’ve been to Phish concerts longer than that.” —Jimmy Fallon

“Even Aaron Rodgers is, like, ‘Damn, that was fast.’” —Jimmy Fallon

“Donald Trump also complained that his trial did not include a jury, even though that’s because his lawyers never requested one. To be fair, Trump can’t have a jury of his peers. Where are they going to get 12 bankrupt former reality hosts? You know it’s not good when you’re missing the legal competence of Rudy Giuliani.” —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

Cool, a plane collision we can't be blamed for? Love it! (66% effective)

March 2023

“Well, guys, some big news from overseas — yesterday, two Russian fighter jets collided with a U.S. surveillance drone and sent it crashing into the Black Sea. The damage would've been a lot worse, but luckily, on its way down, the drone bounced off a bunch of Chinese spy balloons. Yeah, the whole thing was pretty scary. Meanwhile, the FAA was like, ‘Cool, a plane collision we can't be blamed for? Love it! Alright, hey, alright.’” —Jimmy Fallon

“Yep, Aaron Rodgers could be coming to New York. Jets fans were like, ‘Wait, is this what happiness feels like? I like it.’ Unfortunately, the Jets are owned by Johnson & Johnson, which means Rogers will only be 66% effective. Better than nothing.” —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I’d love to see what kind of plays a quarterback would think of while they’re on the journey, you know? (speaking of addiction)

August 2022

“In an interview, Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers said a retreat on the psychedelic drug ayahuasca led to the best season of his career. Wow, OK. Do you understand how big this is, people? Aaron Rodgers just said, ‘Yo, I took drugs, and that’s part of the reason I crush the game.’ That just shows you how much times have changed, because you remember back in the 90s, they’d bring someone like Shaq on TV to be like, ‘Remember kids, I’d rather kill myself than get high on marijuana, don’t do drugs!’” —Trevor Noah

“To be clear, Rodgers wasn’t playing football while tripping on ayahuasca, although I kinda wish he was. I’d love to see what kind of plays a quarterback would think of while they’re on the journey, you know?” —Trevor Noah

“If we had more time, we could talk about how great it is to see people like Aaron Rodgers normalizing conversations around whether we can use psychedelics to improve people’s mental health and cure them from addiction. But unfortunately, we don’t have the time, because speaking of addiction, the Choco Taco is back.” —Trevor Noah

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He normally commutes home via parade (Eh, not so much)

January 2022

“Well, guys, this weekend was the divisional round of the N.F.L. playoffs, and after all four games were decided on the final play, people are calling it the greatest playoff weekend of all time. Well, everyone from Buffalo, Green Bay, Tennessee, and Tampa are like not, ‘Eh, not so much.’” —Jimmy Fallon

“That’s right, Tom Brady and the defending champion Tampa Bay Buccaneers were knocked out of the playoffs. Brady is really not used to losing — he normally commutes home via parade.” —Jimmy Fallon

“Yeah, it was a weekend of upsets on Saturday, Aaron Rodgers and the Green Bay Packers hosted the San Francisco 49ers and lost in Green Bay. In other words, Aaron Rodgers failed his at-home test.” —Jimmy Fallon

“It was crazy to see Tom Brady — it was like the Coyote finally caught the Road Runner and ate him right there on TV.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Aaron Rogers, you may recall, was caught in a series of lies about his vaccination status earlier in the season. Before the game, he lashed out at President Biden, said we have a fake White House, a bunch of other stuff befitting a man who has been hit in the head a lot of times.” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It’s a scientific phenomenon known as Aaron Rodgers (Incoming booster selfies in three, two, one...)

November 2021

“In a recent interview, the C.E.O. of Moderna said scientists he’s spoken to about the new Covid variant, Omicron, agree ‘it’s not going to be good.’ It’s kind of like when the trailer for the movie ‘Cats’ came out — the only thing we knew was ‘Well, it’s not going to be good.’ But we didn’t know the extent of how not good it would be.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Following the news on the Omicron variant, the C.D.C. is now saying that all adults should get a booster shot. Right now, Instagram is like, ‘Incoming booster selfies in three, two, one.’” —Jimmy Fallon

“But no one knows for sure, so both Pfizer and Moderna are testing how well their vaccines protect against Omicron. Unfortunately, they won’t know the results for two weeks, at the earliest. Evidently, the scientists are stuck in a container off the coast of China.” —Stephen Colbert

“And now for the bad news: Omicron does appear to be evading vaccines. It’s a scientific phenomenon known as Aaron Rodgers.” —Stephen Colbert

“And I wish they would hurry up, because I need to know what I’m doing in two weeks from now, you know? Should I be buying my ‘Spider-Man’ tickets or learning how to hunt and cook wild animals? Or should I split the difference and buy ‘Spider-Man’ tickets for the wild animals?” —Trevor Noah

“And also if we do need a new vaccine for this new variant, it’s not a big deal, all right, people? I see people online being like, ‘We’re gonna get a new shot every year?’ Yeah, you know what? Maybe to not die you need to take 15 minutes out of your year. What, is your life so busy that you don’t have time for that? I guarantee you, at some point in the next year, you will walk by a CVS. Unless you live in the desert — then it’s gonna be like a five-minute walk to a CVS.” —Trevor Noah

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

the most important thing is to focus on going out there and losing football games right now (stepping out of line)

November 2021

“Meanwhile, Aaron Rodgers isn’t the only N.F.L. quarterback who’s been holding out. Joe Flacco, of the New York Jets, revealed that he, too, is unvaccinated. Flacco told the media he doesn’t want to get into his reasoning because it would be a distraction to the team, and the most important thing is to focus on going out there and losing football games right now.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Of course, the main difference between this and the Aaron Rodgers story is Aaron Rodgers led everyone to believe he was vaccinated, and, also, no one cares about Joe Flacco.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“New York Jets quarterback Joe Flacco announced at a press conference yesterday that he is not vaccinated against the coronavirus and said that he ‘has his reasons.’ I mean, he’s a backup quarterback on the Jets — I assume his reason is that he’s ready to die.” —Seth Meyers

“That’s right, New York Jets quarterback Joe Flacco announced he’s not vaccinated against the coronavirus. But don’t worry about his teammates — it’s rare for the Jets to catch anything.”  —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

So once again, the NFL's priorities are in perfect order (Pyramid of the Capitalist System)

November 2021

“Yesterday, the N.F.L. fined Rodgers and the Packers for violating Covid-19 protocols. Phew. Now that Covid protocols are being enforced, we can get back to safely enjoying the beautiful game of 300-pound men crushing each other’s spines like a sleeve of Ritz crackers.” — Stephen Colbert on the Green Bay Packers and their quarterback Aaron Rodgers

“Rodgers attended a Halloween party despite being unvaccinated, for which the N.F.L. fined him $14,650. Which sounds like a lot of money, but it’s the equivalent of fining an average American $33.80 — or one beer at a Packers game.” — Stephen Colbert

“Just to put that in perspective, CeeDee Lamb of the Cowboys was fined more than $15,000 for having an untucked jersey. So once again, the league’s priorities are in perfect order.” — Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Yeah, yeah, I’m wearing protection (I’ve decided to cover myself in Manuca honey)

November 2021

“Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers apparently was trying to hide his unvaccinated status, revealed last week that he tested positive for Covid-19 and missed Sunday’s game against the Kansas City Chiefs. On a podcast called the Pat McAfee show last Friday, Rodgers defended himself, saying he tested negative 300 times before testing positive, which is the same kind of logic your 95-year-old grandmother uses to justify keeping her driver’s license.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Aaron Rodgers told reporters in the preseason, when asked directly about his vaccination status, that he’d been ‘immunized’. That was a pretty slippery answer, looking back at it. This is like your girl asking if you’re wearing a condom, and you put on a bike helmet and are like, ‘Yeah, yeah, I’m wearing protection.’” —Trevor Noah

“Rodgers defended his answer on the Pat McAfee podcast, saying ‘I’m not some sort of anti-vax flat-earther. I am somebody who’s a critical thinker.’ You can tell how politics has just infected the entire vaccine debate, because you’ll never see Aaron Rodgers doing this to anything else. He’s never applying independent thinking to the rest of his body. Just once I’d love to see him out there on the field being like ‘forget pads and helmets, I’ve decided to cover myself in Manuca honey.’” —Trevor Noah

“But there are real victims here. And yes, I’m talking about those of us who play fantasy sports. Because it used to be when you drafted players you only had to take into account their injury history or their team’s off-season moves. Now — now you’ve got to be like, ‘OK, what are the chances that this player gets his news from Facebook?’” —Trevor Noah

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I didn’t not, not, not not, not get the shot. Not. (Then again, they are called the Packers)

November 2021

“The Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers tested positive for Covid this week, which means he’ll sit out Sunday’s game against the Kansas City Chiefs or as the next five State Farm commercials.” —Stephen Colbert

“He’ll be watching it from ‘Mahome.’” — Jimmy Kimmel, referencing Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes

“I find it egregious that Rodgers had vaguely referred to himself as ‘immunized,’ leading some to believe he’d been vaccinated. Instead, according to a report, he received homeopathic treatment. I’m no expert, but I’m guessing it’s a lot easier to just play football with a shot in your arm than a jade egg stuck where the sun don’t shine. Then again, they are called the Packers.” —Stephen Colbert

“That’s not the only confusing statement that Rodgers has made about his vaccine status. For example, in one press conference he said, ‘I’d like to think of myself as vaccine-adjacent.’ In another press conference he said, ‘In a spiritual sense, are any of us truly vaccinated?’ And finally, he cleared things up by saying, ‘I didn’t not, not, not not, not get the shot. Not.’” —Jimmy Fallon

“That’s really vague. He better not talk that way in the huddle.” —Stephen Colbert

“Honestly, the only thing worse than not getting vaccinated when you’re in close contact with other people is letting them think you’re vaccinated when you’re not. It’s basically the Covid equivalent of ‘The condom fell off.’” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Aaron Rodgers Halloween (I don't own a cape)

    

"Last night, yet another Democratic presidential debate. The Democratic presidential candidates took part in a debate sponsored by the senior citizen group AARP. To win over the crowd, each candidate came out strongly against the War of 1812." --Conan O'Brien

    

"Yesterday at a campaign fundraiser, Hillary Clinton criticized Vice President Cheney and called him 'Darth Vader.' Cheney denied it and said, 'Darth Vader is evil, half-machine and always wears a cape. And I don't own a cape.'" --Conan O'Brien

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Colin Cowherd lists all the quarterbacks he would rather have than Cam Newton

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

Just when you thought you couldn't love Aaron Rodgers any more

A pair of zebras got loose in downtown Philadelphia this weekend after escaping from a nearby circus. They were chased down and captured almost immediately by Eagles fans who mistook them for referees. –Seth Meyers

In a press conference after the game, Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers had some words for the offending fan. Just when you thought you couldn't love Aaron Rodgers any more, he goes and throws in the words "prejudicial ideology." –James Corden