graham cracker levees (Good luck, you poor bastard)

"New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin caused a controversy when he said when New Orleans is rebuilt, it will be a chocolate city. Yeah, he went on to say that it will be protected by a series of graham cracker levees." --Conan O'Brien

"A Texas paper is reporting that lobbyist Jack Abramoff charged a client $25,000 to have lunch with President Bush. Not surprisingly, this is the most anyone has ever paid for lunch at Chuck E. Cheese." --Conan O'Brien

"You all watch that big Democratic debate last night? There will be 65 more to help us make up our mind. But it got a little a little nasty last night. Last night, Senator Hillary Clinton once again accused Barack Obama of plagiarizing his speech from another politician. Yeah, Hillary said plagiarizing is the second worst kind of cheating." --Conan O'Brien

"At a press conference, President Bush introduced his new press secretary Tony Snow, and the president said, this is a quote, 'His job is to help explain my decisions to the American people.' Yeah, then Bush turned to Snow and said, 'Good luck, you poor bastard.'" --Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Good luck, you poor bastard/graham cracker levees/Hindsight is 2020

"At a press conference, President Bush introduced his new press secretary Tony Snow, and the president said, this is a quote, 'His job is to help explain my decisions to the American people.' Yeah, then Bush turned to Snow and said, 'Good luck, you poor bastard.'" --Conan O'Brien

"New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin caused a controversy when he said when New Orleans is rebuilt, it will be a chocolate city. Yeah, he went on to say that it will be protected by a series of graham cracker levees." --Conan O'Brien

"Abu Musab al-Zarqawi was the world's most unhinged lunatic. He's now dead, so that moves Ann Coulter up to first place." --David Letterman

"There was a tribute to the Dance Theater of Harlem down there in Washington at the White House, and after dinner, Bush and his wife got up and danced for the crowd. And I was thinking about this, I believe the last time Bush danced for a black audience was when he tried to explain FEMA's response." --David Letterman

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #JusticeDemocrats

You can't PowerPoint your way to jihad (some serious vanilla)

"Karl Rove, making his fifth grand jury appearance, his fifth grand jury appearance! One more and he gets to bang the gavel." --Jon Stewart

"Mayor Ray 'Chocolate City' Nagin couldn't pull in enough of the vote in New Orleans to prevent a runoff. If he hopes to hold on to his office, [he] will have to make inroads into what he's calling some serious vanilla." --Jon Stewart

"Osama bin Laden fell surprisingly short in his latest tape, in which he discussed realigning percentages of Muslim representation on the U.N. Security Council and made some funding proposals for the Hamas regime in the Palestinian Territory. You know, I think Osama's jumped the sheik on this latest tape. Osama, keep your eye on the prize. Leave the Excel spreadsheets to the financial guys. You can't PowerPoint your way to jihad." --Jon Stewart

this morning Hillary Clinton bought a karaoke machine (Arizona lottery)

"There's a movement in Arizona now to turn voting there into a lottery. This is real. The way it would work is that after every election, one voter would win a million dollars. So basically, you'd vote a Democrat and end up a Republican." --Jay Leno

"They found a sunken Roman city off the coast of Egypt that is 2,000 years old. They believe is happened during the reign of Emperor Ray Nagin." --Jay Leno

"At the end of last night's 'American Idol,' Ryan Seacrest announced that more than 63 million votes were cast, which is more than any president in U.S. history has ever received. In a related story, this morning Hillary Clinton bought a karaoke machine." --Conan O'Brien