I think the voters told him they want to start seeing other candidates (which breaks Kenny Rogers' old record)

"According to the latest polls out today, John McCain now has a double digit lead over the Democrats. To give you an idea how far McCain is ahead in the polls, today, Hillary offered him the vice presidency." --Jay Leno

“It was a bad night for Newt Gingrich. In terms that Newt can understand, I think the voters told him they want to start seeing other candidates.” –Jay Leno

 

"The new White House press spokesman is Fox News Channel's Tony Snow. This is the White House's third new face in two weeks, which breaks Kenny Rogers' old record." –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He told him he'd bring him back a boomerang (Never travel with this guy)

 

"President Bush was in Austria yesterday. You know, I think he's confused. He's not good on geography. On his way to Austria, he told Dick Cheney he'd bring him back a boomerang." --Jay Leno

"The Federal Trade Commission said today they did not find any signs, no signs that the oil industry illegally manipulated gas prices. They also found no signs of steroid use in baseball, there was no gang activity in Los Angeles and Kenny Rogers had no plastic surgery whatsoever." --Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

the White House's third new face in two weeks, which breaks Kenny Rogers' old record

"TV's Tony Snow becomes the White House press secretary. How will he make the difficult transition from Fox News reporter to Republican apologist? President Bush, it is time to hire the folks who've never let you down. Limbaugh at Health and Human Services. Hannity at State. Then give Rummy the Medal of Freedom and install Bill O'Reilly as secretary of defense. Only problem, you might find yourself invading Vermont. And I'll replace Chertoff at Homeland Security. The man's done nothing to control the bear population." --Stephen Colbert

"The new White House press spokesman is Fox News Channel's Tony Snow. This is the White House's third new face in two weeks, which breaks Kenny Rogers' old record." --Jay Leno

"Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld made a surprise visit to Iraq yesterday. The surprise is that he's still the secretary of defense, I guess." --Jay Leno

"It's been announced that White House adviser Karl Rove will not be creating the day-to-day policy for the president anymore. You all know Karl Rove, he's the man they call Bush's brain. No, that's what they call him, Bush's brain. Now he's only going to be working part of the time, just like Bush's brain." --Jay Leno

testifying at the Michael Jackson trial (Altar boys are still waiting for their apology)

"There's a lot of tension in the world. Over the weekend, Pope Benedict apologized to the Muslims. Altar boys, on the other hand, are still waiting for their apology." --David Letterman

"The Federal Trade Commission said today they did not find any signs, no signs that the oil industry illegally manipulated gas prices. They also found no signs of steroid use in baseball, there was no gang activity in Los Angeles and Kenny Rogers had no plastic surgery whatsoever." --Jay Leno

"In the Gulf of Mexico, 270 miles southwest of New Orleans, drillers have discovered what they say could be the largest oil reserve ever. Once the oil is drilled, it could boost our oil reserves by 50%. They said it would supply us with nearly 50 billion barrels of oil. In fact, the oil companies said this could cut the price of gas by almost a penny. When President Bush heard about this, he ordered the invasion of Louisiana." --Jay Leno

"Saddam Hussein's former adviser, Tariq Aziz, testified at Saddam's trial while wearing pajamas. Aziz said he was confused and thought he was testifying at the Michael Jackson trial." --Conan O'Brien

I'm tired of this, I'd rather be governor (sending the wrong message)

"The Federal Trade Commission said today they did not find any signs, no signs that the oil industry illegally manipulated gas prices. They also found no signs of steroid use in baseball, there was no gang activity in Los Angeles and Kenny Rogers had no plastic surgery whatsoever." --Jay Leno

"Let's see what's new with New Jersey Governor Jim 'Keep On Truckin' McGreevy. Former New Jersey Governor  Jim McGreevy has written a book where he said he used to cruise highway rest stops looking to have anonymous sex with gay truckers. At what point do you stop having anonymous sex at truck stops and say to yourself I'm tired of this, I'd rather be governor?" --Jay Leno

"McGreevy said he came out of the closet when he realized where this sort of lifestyle would lead -- marriage to Liza Minelli." --Jay Leno