A woman told the New York Post she's a MAGA wife married to a lifelong Democrat, but has a secret to making their marriage work. She lets him b*ng men. Hey, I don't make the rules. —Greg Gutfeld
Uber has released its 10th annual lost and found list. Once again, topping the list, Steve Guttenberg. —Greg Gutfeld
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
An American flight turned into a nightmare after a passenger in the middle seat changed a diaper. "Hey, when you got to go, you got to go," said Joe Biden. — Greg Gutfeld
According to the New York Post, President Trump's son, Baron, shut down a whole floor of Trump Tower for a date. It's quite a change from the Bidens. After Hunter had a date, Hazmat shut down the whole floor. — Greg Gutfeld
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
Next Tuesday is tax day Here's a helpful tip. Any time you spend watching Fox and Friends can be written off as a charitable donation. —Greg Gutfeld
A Dolly Parton exhibit is coming to the Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum. So far though I can only come up with two reasons to see it. —Greg Gutfeld
The New York Post claims women are paying 15 grand to attend orgasm camp where they learn how to orgasm. We’ve already met one camp counselor, Bill Clinton. —Greg Gutfeld
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
According to the New York Post, Monica Lewinsky claims that after the Bill Clinton scandal she wasn't able to get a job. Probably because Bill Clinton ruined her interview dress. —Greg Gutfeld
Gavin Newsom has announced a new podcast, imaginably titled This Is Gavin Newsom, because jackass was already taken. —Greg Gutfeld
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
California attorney general Rob Bonta announced that Kamala Harris would clear out the field if she runs for California Governor. Wow, saying a black woman would clear out the field? Why not put her face on a bottle of syrup while you're at it. —Greg Gutfeld
According to the New York Post, 72-year-old Bill Belichick and his 24-year-old girlfriend Jordon Hudson are rumored to be engaged. Yes it was love at first will. Word is she reached out to Tom Brady on how to deal with deflated balls. —Greg Gutfeld
Bret Baier is going to interview Trump at Mar-a-Lago for the Super Bowl pregame show. Meanwhile Kristi Noem is not allowed within 100 feet of the Puppy Bowl. —Greg Gutfeld
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
President Biden’s State of the Union speech was OK but you could tell the bar was low. The New York Post’s headline was, ‘He’s Alive!’. —Colin Jost
Biden also got a big response while addressing the issue of abortion when he said we’re about to find out how much political power women have, then he turned to Kamala and said, except you. —Colin Jost
Biden also took time to say in his speech that Shrinkflation is affecting Snickers bars and people pay the same amount for 10% fewer Snickers. And I have to give him credit because it’s pretty risky for a white guy with a stutter to keep saying the word Snickers. —Colin Jost
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
“On the first day of Donald Trump’s civil fraud trial in New York, the New York Post reported that a large takeout order of McDonald’s was delivered to the courthouse. Wow, I knew he was in trouble, but I didn’t know they were seeking the death penalty.” —Seth Meyers
“As for Trump’s lawyers’ claim that Mar-a-Lago would sell for at least $1 Billion – I’m sure he could get that just for the classified documents in the shower.” —Seth Meyers
“In other legal news, jury selection began this week in the trial of disgraced crypto-entrepreneur Sam Bankman-Fried which is surprising, because by the looks of him, he already got the electric chair.” —Seth Meyers
“And the fast food chain Taco Bell announced that it planned to add breakfast tacos to their menu for the first time. Finally, some good news for people who wake up still drunk.” —Seth Meyers
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
A 25 year old from Florida will become the first Gen-Z member of congress. Younger, said Matt Gaetz. —Colin Jost
Rupert Murdoch this week officially turned on Donald Trump. First, the New York Post ran a cover calling Ron DeSantis, Ron DeFuture, even though Ron DeFuture sounds more like a drag queen from outer space. Then on Thursday, the New York Post showed Donald Trump as an egg sitting on a wall with the headline, Trumpty Dumpty, which had to be the easiest Photoshop job in history. And now Trump is threatening to reveal unflattering information about DeSantis. For example, did you know Ron DeSantis is in charge of a state where some maniac was hiding stolen nuclear secrets? —Colin Jost
A woman in Delaware won $400,000 after hitting back to back Lottos in the same day. But the woman is still going to keep her day job. Forging lottery tickets. —Colin Jost
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
“I love watching it dawn on Fox News in real time that the stuff they’ve been saying for over two years is total bullshit. Rightwing pundits cycled through every excuse they could think of for their poor performance – voting machines, young people, single women, cities – but eventually they did land on one explanation that seems more in the ballpark of reality: Donald Trump. Republicans are now running away from Trump faster than Josh Hawley on January 6th.” —Seth Meyers
“The Senate race in Georgia between Raphael Warnock and Trump-backed GOP candidate Herschel Walker is now headed to a runoff in December. The race could decide control of the Senate, so both sides of the aisle have been pouring all of their resources into the Peach state. But there’s one specific resource the GOP would like to keep out of the state. That would be the former president, whom Republicans fear could ‘poison the well’, with one insider calling Trump ‘toxic’ and ‘a distraction’. Yes, they don’t want the former president saying something stupid to distract from Herschel Walker saying something idiotic!” —Stephen Colbert
“Rightwing media have begun to move away from Donald Trump, with both Fox News and the Wall Street Journal running articles calling him an election ‘loser’. The New York Post’s cover called him ‘Trumpty Dumpty’ who had a great fall. It’s not a positive sign when a print newspaper calls you a failure. It’s like getting a scathing critique from a rotary phone.” —Stephen Colbert
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
“At the Emmy Awards last night, we lost best variety series to Last Week Tonight With John Oliver, but even though we didn’t win, it was an honor just to get Covid from those who did win.” —Jimmy Kimmel
“There’s another book about the end of the Trump presidency, this time by the New York Times reporter Maggie Haberman. In Confidence Man: The Making of Donald Trump and the Breaking of America, Haberman reported that Trump had vowed after his defeat in the 2020 election to remain in the White House, telling an aide: ‘We’re never leaving.’ It was like when you try to tell a five-year-old it’s time to leave Disneyland. Fortunately, the Oval Office is oval, so you can’t really pile furniture up against the door. But how would he see that working? Would he and Joe Biden be roommates? I mean, on one hand it’s treason. On the other hand, it's a great idea for a comedy show.” —Jimmy Kimmel
“This week, the justice department said it would consider one of nominees from Trump’s legal team: Raymond Dearie, the former chief judge of the federal court in the eastern district of New York as special master. Let me tell you how this goes from here. Donald Trump just picked a guy who will decide whether or not, or to what extent, crimes have been committed. The justice department said OK, we accept this guy, Judge Dearie, as special master. He will look at the evidence, which is pretty clearcut, he will agree with the FBI, give them all the documents, and once he does, Trump will call him a puppet controlled by the Democrats. The whole thing is a distraction. It doesn’t matter what’s in the documents. Just taking them out of the White House is a crime under the Espionage and Presidential Records Acts, and they still don’t know whether Trump returned all the documents he took. Which, of course he didn’t. That’s like being unsure if Cookie Monster ate all the cookies.” —Jimmy Kimmel
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
"Do you think this is a big deal? See, all candidates exaggerate. Remember when John McCain ran in 2000? Remember that? He had to retract a claim that he had been under cannon fire from the Confederates." --Jay Leno
"It's just getting worse for him. In the New York Post today, a former madam said that Eliot Spitzer would pay to watch other couples have sex. He would pay to watch other couples have sex. Well, that's something we don't have to worry about the new governor doing. We will finally be safe there." --Jay Leno
"Have you noticed all these action stars are now endorsing candidates? Like Mike Huckabee has Chuck Norris; Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger came out for John McCain; and today, Hillary Clinton picked up Janet Reno." --Jay Leno
http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
"There have been charges of foul play from both sides. Obama has accused Clinton of smearing him by implying that he's a Muslim or Muslim-sympathizer, and Clinton has accused Obama and his people of trying to dump a bucket of water on her and make her melt." --Jimmy Kimmel
"We finally got some good news yesterday from the war in Iraq. As you have probably heard, the Air Force exploded Iraq's head of al Qaeda, Abu Musab al-Zarqawi. I was looking forward to seeing what the New York Post had to say about it. This is the actual cover of the newspaper. There you see the dead face of al-Zarqawi with the cartoon bubble saying, 'Warm up the Virgins.' Coincidentally, 'Warm up the Virgins' is also Arnold Schwarzenegger's new campaign slogan." --Jimmy Kimmel
"It's about as low as you can go without getting caught in a Port-O-John with George Michael." --Jimmy Kimmel, on Bush's low approval rating
http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
This morning, the Trump administration unveiled their 2018 budget, titled “A New Foundation for American Greatness,” which is just slightly grandiose for a financial document. It’s like calling your grocery list “A Bold Vision for Yogurt and Dog Food.” –Stephen Colbert
"Tonight, Hillary Clinton says the states she's won are bigger than Obama's. I say it's not the size that counts but whether it's shaped like Florida." --Stephen Colbert
"New York Post, I call dibs on 'Eliot Mess.' ... Huge news today. ... New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer has admitted involvement with a prostitution ring. I just hope the press deals with this tastefully (On screen: Picture of Spitzer, Headline: WHORES!)" --Stephen Colbert
http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
"Well, according to The New York Post, delegates at the Democratic convention received information packets with three separate warnings not to drink too much, because they say alcohol has a much stronger effect in higher altitudes. I guess they didn’t want anyone getting drunk and accidentally sleeping with John Edwards again." --Jay Leno
"According to the FBI wiretap, they had the transcript, Gov. Spitzer was listed as Client No.9. No. 9? He's the governor, who were the eight guys in front of him? You'd think as governor, you'd at least get to go first." --Jay Leno
"John Edwards was not at the convention, actually. But, like his marriage, he was there in spirit." --Jay Leno
http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
“Yesterday, as I hope you know, was Super Bowl Sunday, also known as — a.k.a. ‘Cryptocurrency Awareness Day.’” —Jimmy Kimmel
“Dr. Dre, 50 Cent, Eminem, Kendrick Lamar, Anderson .Paak, and — it was supposed to be Mary J. Blige, but Snoop Dogg smoked all the j’s, so it was just Mary Blige.” —Jimmy Kimmel
“This is a headline in The New York Post today: ‘Snoop Dogg smokes weed right before star-studded Super Bowl halftime show.’ Yeah, no kidding. He smokes weed right before everything.” —Jimmy Kimmel
“For Snoop, that’s a performance-enhancing drug.” —Jimmy Kimmel
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/02/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
"The New York Times says Weiner should pull out. The Daily News, the New York Post, they've all said drop out. USA Today wants to know how he put that hole in their pie chart." –Bill Maher
"This guy has sent so many dick pics, yesterday he was at the Apple store and the guy said to him, 'You know you can also make calls on this thing.'" –Bill Maher
"Some jackass vandalized the Lincoln Memorial. Who hates the Lincoln Memorial? Democrats love it because it honors the man who freed the slaves. And Republicans love it because it just sits there and does nothing." –Bill Maher
"Bill O'Reilly said, 'I am dealing with reality. I am like Paul Revere.' Here's how Bill O'Reilly is like Paul Revere: when he rides past you, you see a horse's ass." –Bill Maher
"New Rule: If Anthony Weiner can come up with a totally badass name like 'Carlos Danger' just to masturbate, how come the best Tom Cruise could do was 'Jack Reacher'? The guy in the action movie should be 'Carlos Danger.' The guy touching himself should be Jack Reacher." –Bill Maher
"New Rule: Stop asking if the new royal baby is more like William or more like Kate. He's more like Uncle Harry - naked and unable to stand." –Bill Maher
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night
of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
