experiencing something like time-travel in a semi-conscious state (Someday I'll own this boot)

February 2023

“There is evidence that Fox News was knowingly lying to their viewers via court filings in the defamation lawsuit against Fox News by Dominion Voting Systems. According to text messages supplied in court, Fox hosts and executives privately trashed Trump and his legal team as ‘total BS’, ‘insane’, ‘mind-blowingly nuts’ or ‘reckless’ while continuing to support their baseless election fraud claims on the air. 

The very same Fox News anchors who constantly accused the so-called mainstream media of lying were themselves lying to their viewers and were admitting behind closed doors that they were lying to their viewers. 

And this supposed evidence they were giving for these claims was transparently insane on its face. Trump lawyer Sidney Powell, for instance, told Fox ahead of one appearance that her sole source for her election conspiracy claims was experiencing something ‘like time-travel in a semi-conscious state’. 

The lawsuit also revealed that Trump tried to call into Fox on January 6th, but the network refused to put him on air because they viewed it as ‘irresponsible’ and ‘could impact a lot of people in a negative way’. That is the most polite euphemism I’ve ever heard. That’s like Hannibal Lecter describing himself in his Tinder bio as a foodie with an adventurous palate.” —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It’s like letting Hannibal Lecter babysit your most delicious child (So all of the former president’s love languages)

January 2023

“Meta has decided to reinstate Donald Trump to Facebook and Instagram on Thursday evening. I mean, letting Trump back on Facebook is crazy. You’re just asking for trouble. It’s like letting Hannibal Lecter babysit your most delicious child.” —Wanda Sykes

“Let’s try an experiment to test out Trump’s return to Meta’s platforms. I think for the first week, they should only allow him to post cat photos. Let’s see how it goes. And if you see a bunch of cats storming the Capitol – although adorable, shut it down.” —Wanda Sykes

“Donald Trump’s two-year ban on Meta platforms following January 6th has now expired, and Meta determined he could be reinstated because his ‘risk to public safety had sufficiently receded’. The risk has receded because he’s been gone! I don’t understand Meta’s logic. It’s like thinking, ‘you know, between knife thrusts, Jack the Ripper is a pretty chill dude.’” —Stephen Colbert

“Upon reinstatement, Trump must follow Meta’s updated community guidelines, which prohibit violence and incitement, fraud and deception, and hate speech. So all of the former president’s love languages.” —Stephen Colbert

“We are celebrating the 20th anniversary of his show, which premiered after the Super Bowl on 26 January 2003. When we started, there were no iPhones, there was no YouTube, there was no Uber, no Twitter, no wifi, no Netflix, no Google. We’ve been through two wars, a worldwide pandemic, four presidents, one insurrection, at least three different Kanyes. If you told me we were going to last longer than Blockbuster, I would’ve sooner believed I’d be working at Blockbuster in 20 years.” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

They will now be wheeled onboard like Hannibal Lecter (OK, Tasers it is)

August 2021

“Guys, I saw that United Airlines has instructed its flight crew not to use duct tape when dealing with unruly passengers. Don’t use it, yeah. Flight attendants heard and were like, ‘OK, Tasers it is.’” —Jimmy Fallon

“That’s right, United isn’t allowed to use duct tape, while passengers on Frontier Airlines will now be wheeled onboard like Hannibal Lecter.” —Jimmy Fallon

“Yeah, according to the memo, United is against using duct tape unless it’s holding up one of their engines. That’s where they draw the line.” —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Would the prosecution please slather themselves in honey mustard and approach the bench? (the rabble is supposed to stay home)

February 2021

“The ongoing pandemic, its requisite social isolation and an uncertain economic environment have contributed to a real phenomenon of pandemic paranoia, according to experts. But that’s not paranoia, that’s normal human fear. If you cry at a birthday party when the clown comes out, that’s a phobia. If you’re one of the kids in It, it’s reasonable to avoid the sewer system.” —Stephen Colbert

“Also feeding the paranoia? Disinformation, such as the election fraud conspiracies and lies undergirding the January 6th assault of the US Capitol. To understand the root of the deadly riot, which killed five Capitol police officers, injured dozens more and threatened the lives of lawmakers, the Senate held investigative hearings on Tuesday. It was a dubious investigation, since the questioners included the Missouri senator Josh Hawley and the Texas senator Ted Cruz, who both supported challenging the certification of Joe Biden’s electoral victory. That’s like having a cannibalism trial presided over by Judge Hannibal Lecter. [Colbert as Hannibal Lecter] ‘Would the prosecution please slather themselves in honey mustard and approach the bench?’” —Stephen Colbert

“And beyond a lack of resources, there’s distrust of government medical advice rooted in decades of racist mistreatment, from pseudoscience to non-consensual medical research. This is why so many black people are suspicious of the medical community, because that community has betrayed them again, and again, and again. And you’re not gonna trust people who’ve betrayed you that many times – unless you’re Mike Pence. But unfortunately, this mistrust actually hurts black people, because these vaccines are safe. Believe me on this – white people would never let Martha Stewart get one if it was dangerous.” —Trevor Noah

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He looks like Hannibal Lecter when he stole a different person’s face to escape from prison (but hair looks good)

“Over the weekend, a photo of a windswept President Trump revealed a high-contrast tan line ringing his face, which he later claimed was doctored after it spread across social media. The photo shows a clear border between Trump’s bronzer and the stolen cadaver skin that enshrouds the remainder of his head. He looks like Hannibal Lecter when he stole a different person’s face to escape from prison.” —Stephen Colbert

"He looks like he just got hit in the face with a pumpkin pie. He looks like he stuck his head in a volcano. He looks like a paint sample card from Home Depot.” —Jimmy Fallon

“As you see from this very real photo of Trump arriving at the White House on Friday with the wind exposing his hairline, he looks just like he went to the beach wearing a dog cone. Trump only cares about the top 1 percent, even when he’s applying sunscreen to his face. Looks like he stuck his face in an empty bag of Doritos and sucked up the dust.” —Seth Meyers

“Now, for some reason Trump was upset about this photo, so he tweeted, ‘More fake news. This was photoshopped, obviously, but the wind was strong and the hair looks good? Anything to demean!’ You know things are bad when Trump is thanking the wind. His hair and the wind do not have great history together. And what does that mean? And ‘hair looks good?’ That’s the definition of narcissism. [Imitating Trump] My face looks like I got a chemical peel at Jiffy Lube, but hair looks good.’” —Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

He asked for the angel hair pasta just to smell it (Did you eat that guy?)

According to reports, former Vice President Joe Biden requires that his paid speaking engagements provide him with a dinner of angel hair pomodoro, caprese salad, and raspberry sorbet. And this is weird: He asked for the angel hair just to smell it. --Seth Meyers

The New York Post published a series of drinking games that viewers could play during the Democratic debate, like, "Drink every time you see someone who should drop out." --Seth Meyers

Finally, after President Trump was accused of sexual assault by well-known advice columnist E. Jean Carroll, Trump first denied that he'd ever met her and then said, in an interview Monday, "She's not my type," which brings us to a segment we call "Hey!" Hey, ***hole, if someone asks you, "Did you rape that woman?" and you say, "No, she's not my type," that's not a defense. That's a confession. It's like, if you asked Hannibal Lecter, "Did you eat that guy?" and he said, "No, he looked a little bony." --Seth Meyers

A dog named Scamp the Tramp was crowned the World's Ugliest Dog over the weekend. They knew it was a no-brainer when the other dogs started sniffing its face. --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”