He's going to go down to his old dudgeon and play the organ (I'm going to finish what my brother started)

"So Jeb Bush is running for president. I don't know about the rest of the country, but thank God, ladies and gentlemen, the comedy recession is over!" —David Letterman

"And you know who else is going to be at the Beer Summit? Dick Cheney, former Vice President Dick 'Kaboom' Cheney will be there. He's going to go down to his old dudgeon and play the organ." --David Letterman

"The brother of former President George Bush, Jeb Bush, is running for president. Yep, and the campaign slogan is, 'I'm going to finish what my brother started.'" —David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I have very low self-esteem (deviled eggs)

With Anthony Fauci facing a Senate hearing this week. Trump has claimed that Joe Biden called him to tell him he was no good. This is obviously a lie because if you called Joe Biden, you’d still be on the phone right now. —Seth Meyers 

Senator Rand Paul released more than 1,000 pages from Dr. Anthony S. Fauci’s Covid-era diary as part of a Senate investigation into the former top government scientist’s role in the pandemic response on Wednesday. The entries highlighted Fauci’s astonishment at his newfound fame in 2020. Are we supposed to be surprised that Fauci wrote about being called sexier than Tyra Banks? If someone called me sexier than Tyra Banks, I’d write that in my diary. You know what, I’d write about being called sexier than Carlton Banks. I might even write about being compared favorably to a Bank of America. I have very low self-esteem. — Jordan Klepper

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Fauci’s gain of function virus research led to a catastrophic disaster (he sent his final meal back four times)

Of course, many experts believe Dr. Fauci’s gain of function virus research led to a catastrophic disaster. And they're right. President Joe Biden. —Greg Gutfeld  

Florida just executed two inmates. One was 80 years old. You knew he was 80 because he sent his final meal back four times. —Greg Gutfeld 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Normally I’d say don’t quit your day job but in this case... (the hoax of Trickle Down economics)

There was a hydration break in the war between US and Iran with a second straight day of peace. President Trump decided to stop bombing the strait of Hormuz and to start bombing at the White House correspondents dinner. —Jon Stewart

The president’s performance at the annual event had been widely criticized for being awkward and unfunny. Normally I’d say don’t quit your day job but in this case … I will make an exception. —Jon Stewart

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

They flare up at the most inopportune times (That’s money that could be used to launch giant p****es into space)

But when it comes to Donald Trump, a former senior White House official says, “He’s never been interested in going to visit troops in war zones. He’s afraid of those situations.” Stephen Colbert as Trump, “I’m ready to visit the troops. Oh! Oh! These damn bone spurs! You know what they say? They flare up at the most inopportune times.” --Stephen Colbert

“Of course, the pandemic has exacerbated our pre-existing condition of extremely rich people. A Bloomberg report on super-yacht charters, reports yacht charters are up over 340%. This is disgusting. At a time of dire need, the ultra-rich shouldn’t be blowing their money on boats. That’s money that could be used to launch giant penises into space.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

To keep them in control was not difficult (It was so hard staying alive, staying alive)

“I don’t understand how Trump has never heard of the person in charge of finding the vaccine to the disease that has shut down the entire world — and don’t tell me it’s because he’s too busy. I mean, this is the same man — the same man who says he’s been watching every nightly news show plus CNN, MSNBC in the morning, Fox News on weekend afternoons, and even reruns of baseball. Reruns! Let me tell you something: If you have time to watch reruns of baseball, you have time for anything. Baseball is boring when it’s happening. Watching it in reruns is like watching paint dry through a PowerPoint presentation.” — Trevor Noah

“You know, Trump talks about cabin fever like it’s an actual illness. [as Trump] This cabin fever, worse than any disease we’ve ever had, even worse than the disease from the ’70s, disco fever. It was so hard staying alive, staying alive.” — Trevor Noah

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Hey, I don't make the rules (Second greatest trick)

A woman told the New York Post she's a MAGA wife married to a lifelong Democrat, but has a secret to making their marriage work. She lets him b*ng men. Hey, I don't make the rules. —Greg Gutfeld   

Uber has released its 10th annual lost and found list. Once again, topping the list, Steve Guttenberg. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I only date bodybuilders (she switched out her torch with a bowling ball)

Kamala Harris released her annual Pride Month message and she plans on celebrating all month by not seeing straight. How's that any different? —Greg Gutfeld 

To celebrate Pride Month, the Empire State Building is illuminated in rainbow colors. Not to be outdone, the Statue of Liberty traded her robes for a nice flannel and switched out her torch with a bowling ball. —Greg Gutfeld 

Scientists are working on three different vaccines for Ebola as the virus rages in Africa. These medicines are no different than the COVID vaccine, which stops the disease from spreading by killing you with a heart attack. I don't know if that's true. —Greg Gutfeld 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

this makes two attempts by Trump to hide his secret Fs (the problem is you)

Donald Trump had his high school grades sealed. So including the hush money payment to a porn star, this makes two attempts by Trump to hide his secret Fs. --James Corden

YouTube temporarily pulled a New York zoo’s live stream of a giraffe giving birth, after some complained that it was sexually explicit. I just want to say if you are watching an animal give birth and you think this is way too sexy, the problem is you. –James Corden

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

the administration has unveiled a new name for the mission (the cost of owning thyself)

A new poll finds that Americans are overwhelmingly opposed to the Iran war and Trump’s plan to peacefully guide oil tankers through the strait of Hormuz. Oh wait, I’m getting word that the administration has unveiled a new name for the mission. Let’s see, what is it called: Operation Clusterf*ck. —Seth Meyers

A new Ipsos poll which showed Trump’s disapproval ratings at a record 62%, in large part due to gas prices rising $1.50 a gallon since the start of the Iran war. Trump’s disapproval is at an all-time high: higher than Covid and January 6 – a virus and a riot. But I just have a quick question for the 37% who approve [of Trump]. What’s your deal? I get that you’re Maga but what do you actually approve of? Is it worth it for you to pay high gas prices if it means liberals also pay high gas prices? Is that how much you want to own the libs – at the cost of owning thyself? —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I haven’t seen this much black since every page of the Trump-Epstein files (I get why you think you’re Jesus)

Jimmy Kimmel then took the podium for his own alternative White House correspondents’ dinner roast, targeting the president and his minions. “We’ll get you all dressed up in formal wear, dresses, tuxedos. I haven’t seen this much black since every page of the Trump-Epstein files.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“In the unfortunate event that our president has a medical emergency tonight, do we have a doctor in the house? I’m sorry. I mean, do we have a Jesus in the house? I always confuse them, too. I get why you think you’re Jesus. This guy, every time he walks into a room, people say, ‘Christ, he’s back.’” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

all restaurants that serve food in buckets or in the form of nuggets are good to go (You do you)

 

Donald Trump has unveiled a plan to reopen the country during 

the pandemic. Phase one: open the golf courses. Phase two: open 

hotels that rhyme with Hump. And number three: all restaurants 

that serve food in buckets or in the form of nuggets are good to go. 

—Jimmy Kimmel

 

But after claiming he had total authority over the states, Trump 

is now allowing governors to decide when to end enforced 

quarantining. In three days he went from ‘I call the shots’ to 

‘You do you.’” —Jimmy Kimmel

 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I always assumed I would be impeached (they're pretty certain we will be greeted as liberators)

"Happy Columbus Day, ladies and gentlemen. By the way, in honor

of Columbus Day, Dick Cheney's cholesterol was 1492." --David

Letterman

"Last week I announced that I'm retiring. Now I'm hoping I can

hang on long enough so my son can take over the show. I never

thought I would retire. I always assumed I would be impeached."

–David Letterman

"NASA is going to launch a rocket to the moon on Friday. They're

going to shoot a rocket to the moon. The government says don't

worry, that they're pretty certain we will be greeted as liberators."

--David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

The first problem I see is his hands are normal size (just to get Epstein back in the news again)

There is an AI-generated image that depicts Trump as Jesus. The first problem I see is his hands are normal size. That’s not realistic. —Jimmy Kimmel    

“This little detour into messiah status did not get Trump the reaction he was hoping for from the Christian community. Overall, they’re not on board with the whole false idols thing. And a lot of people were upset. So Trump or his team deleted the post, which is notable because his account almost never deletes his crazy posts. Last week, when he threatened to kill a civilization, that’s still up. The Jesus post is down. So you know this one was trouble. Which is perhaps why Trump tried to claim, to a White House reporter, that the image actually depicted him as a doctor trying to heal someone. This is why, on top of being reckless and a liar and just ridiculous in general, Trump is also a coward. I don’t know which is more offensive, how dumb he is, or how dumb he thinks we are.” —Jimmy Kimmel    

“This war is going so poorly for Trump, he may need Melania to hold another surprise press conference just to get Epstein back in the news again. --Jimmy Kimmel    

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 
and Orwell’s 1984.”

He’s a big talker! He yaps (Your government despises you)

Tuesday was just another crazy day here in the United States of America! The president promised, then called off, destructive attacks in Iran by 8pm that evening. Probably the most dangerous episode of the Celebrity Apprentice yet. We’re coming to you from Los Angeles for the local time’s just after 5pm, which was Trump’s deadline for Iran to ‘Open the F-ing strait or you’ll be living in hell.’ 

Trump gave a hard cut-off time of right now. And then this morning he wrote, ‘A whole civilization will die tonight, never to be brought back again,’ in a post on his social media platform Truth Social. You realize that this is the same man who was just bitching about losing the Nobel peace prize? Now he’s threatening a civilization with death. He went from Mahatma Gandhi to General Zod like that. So all day today everyone, most notably the people of Iran, were wondering if their civilization was going to die tonight. 

Well, good news, it didn’t. It was the Taco Tuesday of all Taco Tuesdays. Our president decided not to drop the chalupa for at least another two weeks. This is how it goes every single time Trump says something insane. He says, ‘I’m going to kill everybody tomorrow at 5pm.’ Then we all freak out and then he backs off. He’s like, ‘You know what? Actually, I’ll kill everyone in two weeks.’ 

Then we relax, and then he forgets he ever said it in the first place. He has the memory and the skin color of a goldfish. Perhaps the worst part was how relaxed the congressional Republicans are about it. He threatens to annihilate a civilization, they’re like ‘Well, you know how he is. He’s a big talker! He yaps.’ —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Yes, that's who undermined the American medical system (Pam Bondi is a Great American Patriot)

Just a few hours ago we learnt that President Trump fired Attorney General Pam Bondi. Bondi lost her job because Trump was reportedly upset over her handling of the said files, a dark cloud which still hangs over his administration. As Trump wrote on Truth Social: "Pam Bondi is a Great American Patriot and a loyal friend, who faithfully served as my Attorney General over the past year. Pam did a tremendous job overseeing a massive crackdown in Crime across our Country, with Murders plummeting to their lowest level since 1900. 

We love Pam, and she will be transitioning to a much needed and important new job in the private sector, to be announced at a date in the near future." [Colbert as Trump] “It’s a much-needed job at a very important farm upstate. There’ll be lots of room for her to run around. Unfortunately, we can’t go visit her. Now let’s go to the strip mall and get you a new attorney general, buddy.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Is there a doctor in the house? (everyone knows that money was earmarked for Somalian thieves)

An indicted House Democrat could be expelled from Congress. She allegedly stole millions in COVID funds and everyone knows that money was earmarked for Somalian thieves. —Greg Gutfeld

A Secret Service agent guarding Jill Biden shot himself in the leg at the Philly at the Philly airport on Friday. When he screamed, "Is there a doctor in the house?" Jill said yes and quickly started reading him a children's book. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

EMAIL CONFIRMS COVID WAS A GLOBAL ELITE PSYOP

THE TRUTH IS OUT! EPSTEIN EMAIL CONFIRMS COVID WAS A GLOBAL ELITE PSYOP — THEY PLANNED PANDEMICS FOR YEARS TO ENSLAVE HUMANITY! Jeffrey Epstein was personally handed the pandemic blueprint years before anyone heard of COVID. This wasn’t science. This was premeditated tyranny dressed up as public health. THE EMAIL THAT CHANGES EVERYTHING Date: March 20, 2015 To: Jeffrey Epstein Subject: Preparing for Pandemics Key line: “Please find attached a draft agenda for the meeting on preparing for pandemics, as requested. Let’s discuss next steps, for example how to officially involve the WHO and ICRC (i.e. co-branding).” Epstein — the pedophile blackmail kingpin with zero medical credentials — gets invited to shape global pandemic strategy and decide how the WHO would be used as the public face. That single word “co-branding” exposes the whole game: fake legitimacy for a manufactured crisis. They weren’t preparing for a virus. They were preparing the world for control. THE TIMELINE THEY CAN’T HIDE ANYMORE - 2015: Epstein receives the elite pandemic agenda straight from Geneva insiders pushing WHO cover. - 2017-2019: Epstein’s island and New York mansion host biotech billionaires, AI surveillance freaks, and “pandemic gaming” sessions with the exact people who later ran the show. - Early 2020: The scripted “outbreak” hits. WHO declares pandemic on cue. Lockdowns roll out worldwide. - 2025: Trump forces millions of sealed Epstein pages into daylight. - 2026: This email surfaces. The mask is off. The people see the strings They rehearsed it. They branded it with corrupt global bodies. They used Epstein's resources to keep every elite player in line. And when the time came, they unleashed hell on humanity — destroyed small businesses, forced experimental shots, tracked every movement, transferred trillions to BlackRock and Pfizer cronies, all while laughing from their bunkers. WHY EPSTEIN? BECAUSE HE WAS THE ENFORCER He wasn’t there for science. He was there to guarantee compliance. Island parties, underage girls, hidden cameras, private jets — the leverage that made sure no one stepped out of line when the “plandemic” launched. Send your pandemic proposal through Epstein and you knew it would reach the real decision-makers without leaks. That’s how tight the cabal ran the operation.

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

they didn’t have to do it in front of the class (but it doesn’t feel good)

I’m not even really a democrat. I just vote Not Republican. Democrats are like condoms to me. I’ll use them because it’s safer, I guess, but it doesn’t feel good. —Michael Che

Officials in Hong Kong announced that after some hamsters in a pet store tested positive for Covid, they had to kill more than 2,000 of the pets. OK, but they didn’t have to do it in front of the class. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

This system isn't meant for us (marijuana was just legalized here in California so, you know)

Archaeologists in South Africa have discovered what they say is the world's oldest drawing. Experts think the crude, simple drawing on a rock was created more than 70,000 years ago. And probably during the world's first extremely boring work meeting. While a bunch of starving cavemen were off fighting a saber-toothed tiger, one guy was like, "Hey is it cool if I take a personal day to hang back and work on my art?" The rock features the world's oldest known drawing found on a stone. This is historic, because it's the first time that "rock," "oldest" and "stone" have been used in the same sentence without mentioning Mick Jagger. --James Corden

This is our first show of the New Year after the holidays. We’re very happy to be back. We actually would have come back last week but marijuana was just legalized here in California so, you know. --James Corden

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”