Wait a minute... I'm the a**hole? (It’s like getting a scathing critique from a rotary phone)

November 2022

“I love watching it dawn on Fox News in real time that the stuff they’ve been saying for over two years is total bullshit. Rightwing pundits cycled through every excuse they could think of for their poor performance – voting machines, young people, single women, cities – but eventually they did land on one explanation that seems more in the ballpark of reality: Donald Trump. Republicans are now running away from Trump faster than Josh Hawley on January 6th.” —Seth Meyers

“The Senate race in Georgia between Raphael Warnock and Trump-backed GOP candidate Herschel Walker is now headed to a runoff in December. The race could decide control of the Senate, so both sides of the aisle have been pouring all of their resources into the Peach state. But there’s one specific resource the GOP would like to keep out of the state. That would be the former president, whom Republicans fear could ‘poison the well’, with one insider calling Trump ‘toxic’ and ‘a distraction’. Yes, they don’t want the former president saying something stupid to distract from Herschel Walker saying something idiotic!” —Stephen Colbert

“Rightwing media have begun to move away from Donald Trump, with both Fox News and the Wall Street Journal running articles calling him an election ‘loser’. The New York Post’s cover called him ‘Trumpty Dumpty’ who had a great fall. It’s not a positive sign when a print newspaper calls you a failure. It’s like getting a scathing critique from a rotary phone.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

This grown man running on his little gazelle legs? (Either way, we’ll be waiting with bated breath)

July 2022

“This was the final public hearing by the House January 6th select committee until September, which didn’t just expose the president for throwing a Trump tantrum, they also took a moment to reveal that a lot of the bravado that we’ve seen from far-right Republican lawmakers wasn’t exactly how they felt while the ‘patriots’ were ransacking the Capitol. In particular, the January 6th committee dragged the far-right Missouri senator Josh Hawley, who raised his fist in solidarity with the mob upon entering the Capitol and was later caught on tape running away from the attack. I’m sorry, but the January 6th committee should be ashamed of itself. They had no reason to show this. They just wanted to embarrass a senator of the United States. Why? Just because he ran away like a little bitch? Yeah he raised his fist and egged the crowd on, but is that a reason to show him pissing his pants on national television? Is it a crime to be crying and running away from the mob that you riled up? Oh, he’s such a bitch-ass. Let me tell you something! That bitch-ass thought the mob was going to kill him. Is that funny to you? This grown man running on his little gazelle legs?” —Trevor Noah

“So sadly, that’s it for season one of the January 6th hearings. But good news: it’s already renewed for season two, which drops in September. And like any good series, they’re leaving us with some major cliffhangers: will they find the Secret Service’s deleted text messages? Will Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger finally realize that the love they’ve been looking for has been right in front of them this whole time? Will we find out that Steve Bannon is the source of monkeypox? Either way, we’ll be waiting with bated breath.” —Trevor Noah

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Spice rubs that flavor the rich (You lost us at Ketanji)

“Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson Supreme Court confirmation hearings continued on Tuesday, and I couldn’t help but notice how Republicans made their biases clear. I think your dog whistle’s busted, guys. Everyone can hear it now!” —Jimmy Kimmel

“But despite the gratuitous attacks, Judge Jackson has been very cool under pressure. They don’t have anything real to criticize, so they’ve been trying to portray her as being soft on crime, which is interesting because she’s been endorsed by both the International Association of Police Chiefs and the Fraternal Order of Police — and the band The Police. Even Sting is in her corner.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“How soft are Republicans talking here, do we think? Like, ‘not handing out maximum sentences’ levels of soft or, you know, ‘deciding to look the other way after Jan. 6’ levels of soft?” —James Corden

“It’s funny listening to the same people who let the president get away with trying to overthrow the government call anyone ‘soft on crime,’ but that’s how it goes.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson made an opening statement yesterday, got praise from both sides of the aisle. Republican Senator Chuck Grassley said he liked it and his wife liked it, too. Judge Jackson got the coveted Barbara Grassley seal of approval.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“But not every Republican was impressed. Senators Marsha Blackburn and Josh Hawley were like, ‘You lost us at Ketanji.’” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

When the people lead, the leaders will follow (which is not true, I also drink)

November 2021

A new report shows that the fastest growing form of electronic vehicles is the E-bike, which is particularly popular in cities. At this point experts believe the only thing that could slow these bikes down are car doors. —Michael Che

Environmentalists are warning visitors to the Canary Islands that having sex on the sand dunes is causing them to erode faster. In addition, they’re also making them super clumpy. —Michael Che

An 83 year old man has become the oldest person ever to hike the Appalachian Trail. The man dedicated this walk to his wife, who died a few miles back. —Michael Che

Senator Josh Hawley said in a speech after years of being told their manhood is a problem, men are turning to pornography and video games, which is not true. I also drink. —Michael Che

A judge rules that Texas governor Greg Abbott’s executive order, banning mask mandates in school violated the Americans with Disabilities Act. Because in Texas, you have to treat the disabled with care and respect, until the day you execute them. —Michael Che

It was announced that New York City Santacon which was canceled last year, will return this December. So the answer is nothing. The pandemic taught us nothing. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Would the prosecution please slather themselves in honey mustard and approach the bench? (the rabble is supposed to stay home)

February 2021

“The ongoing pandemic, its requisite social isolation and an uncertain economic environment have contributed to a real phenomenon of pandemic paranoia, according to experts. But that’s not paranoia, that’s normal human fear. If you cry at a birthday party when the clown comes out, that’s a phobia. If you’re one of the kids in It, it’s reasonable to avoid the sewer system.” —Stephen Colbert

“Also feeding the paranoia? Disinformation, such as the election fraud conspiracies and lies undergirding the January 6th assault of the US Capitol. To understand the root of the deadly riot, which killed five Capitol police officers, injured dozens more and threatened the lives of lawmakers, the Senate held investigative hearings on Tuesday. It was a dubious investigation, since the questioners included the Missouri senator Josh Hawley and the Texas senator Ted Cruz, who both supported challenging the certification of Joe Biden’s electoral victory. That’s like having a cannibalism trial presided over by Judge Hannibal Lecter. [Colbert as Hannibal Lecter] ‘Would the prosecution please slather themselves in honey mustard and approach the bench?’” —Stephen Colbert

“And beyond a lack of resources, there’s distrust of government medical advice rooted in decades of racist mistreatment, from pseudoscience to non-consensual medical research. This is why so many black people are suspicious of the medical community, because that community has betrayed them again, and again, and again. And you’re not gonna trust people who’ve betrayed you that many times – unless you’re Mike Pence. But unfortunately, this mistrust actually hurts black people, because these vaccines are safe. Believe me on this – white people would never let Martha Stewart get one if it was dangerous.” —Trevor Noah

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

What he hates most in this world. Elites. (if you eat there make sure you tip at least 20 percent)

January 2021

There’s a new opportunistic infection in the senate named Josh Hawley. He's an up-and-comer. Washington Insider says he's among 2021's most punchable faces. Handsome, youthful and vigorous, he's the far rights JFK with a little dash of KKK. —Bill Maher

Josh Hawley is the son of a wealthy banker and a graduate of Stanford and Yale and a private prep school. Josh knows what he hates most in this world. Elites. —Bill Maher

Not to be outdone in the area of hating government from the inside, freshman Colorado rep and high school dropout Lauren Bobert is someone you may have already thought of if you ever thought what would happen if Michelle Bachmann smoked bath salts. —Bill Maher

Bobert wants everyone to know she has exactly one issue, guns. Spoiler alert, she likes them. She hails from a town named Rifle and owns a restaurant called Shooters, where the wait staff, no kidding, are encouraged to carry loaded weapons on the job. My suggestion if you eat there make sure you tip at least 20 percent. —Bill Maher

I ate there once i asked the waiter how fresh is the fish he said, ‘I don't know you feel lucky punk.’ —Bill Maher

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”