And he's the main boy (doodles)

Earlier this summer, the Wall Street Journal reported that back in 2003, Trump provided a lewd letter and cartoon to a book celebrating Epstein’s birthday – a “Picasso of pervitude”. The Journal reported that the note was framed by a doodle of a naked woman, and featured Trump’s squiggly signature “below her waist, mimicking pubic hair. 

The note read, in part: “Happy birthday – and may every day be another wonderful secret.” Trump denied the letter’s existence, and sued the Wall Street Journal, owned by former ally Rupert Murdoch, for $20 billion. Turns out, existent, because on Monday, the House oversight committee released the letter. 

That sure as hell looks legit. It’s directly from the Jeffrey Epstein estate, it’s exactly what the Wall Street Journal reported, and the signature identically matches a bunch of ones from the same era. And you know what they say: if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, that duck should not be allowed within 300 yards of a school. —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

after years of touching Canada (They blamed others)

"Maine legalized gay marriage today. Maine became comfortable with the idea after years of touching Canada." --Craig Ferguson, May 2009

"It's Arnold Schwarzenegger's birthday. Arnold celebrated quietly at home with his friends and his families." –Craig Ferguson

"The Murdochs testified before parliament and did something that not many powerful people would have the courage to do: They blamed others." –Craig Ferguson

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

a convicted felon is beating me in the polls (Young Buck Ready to...)

“The Wall Street Journal published an article yesterday titled ‘Behind Closed Doors, Biden Shows Signs of Slipping.’ Yeah, we know. Sometimes he doesn’t even make it to the door.” — Seth Meyers

“The Wall Street Journal published an article yesterday that claims President Biden appears to be slipping in private meetings. He keeps saying crazy stuff that makes no sense like, ‘a convicted felon is beating me in the polls.’” — Seth Meyers

“Still, I am confident that The Wall Street Journal knows ‘Old Man is Old’ is breaking news, but I’m sure they will balance that perspective in their article about their 93-year-old boss Rupert Murdoch’s wedding: ‘Young Buck Ready to [Expletive].’” — Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Say hello to my little friend (3rd July 1988)

It’s been a tough day for the House speaker, Mike Johnson, as he faces a movement to oust him from the position from his own party. They just got rid of the last guy six months ago. Republican speaker of the House has joined the list of least secure jobs, just below #2 leader of Isis, world’s oldest man and Rupert Murdoch fiancee. —Stephen Colbert

“Donald Trump had the day off from his criminal trial on Wednesday. He spent part of it criticizing my hosting of the Oscars several weeks ago, and he mistook me for Al Pacino somehow? He’s Al Pacino, I’m me. You’d think he would know that because I’m pretty sure ‘Say hello to my little friend’ is what he said to Stormy Daniels that got him in all this trouble.” — Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He looks like he’s on Law & Order saying, ‘That girl came on to me.’ (ten thousand idiots)

This week Donald Trump Jr. testified in his father’s civil fraud trial, and based on this courtroom sketch I feel like it didn’t go great. He’s supposed to be talking about real estate, but he looks like he’s on Law & Order saying, ‘That girl came on to me.’ —Colin Jost

Unlike the other packed courtroom days, only four people showed up and Donald Trump Sr. was not present, which is just like all of Don Jr.’s childhood birthday parties. —Colin Jost

Rupert Murdoch has stepped aside as the CEO of Fox News, passing it on to his eldest son, Darth Murdoch. —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

He arrived in a Hummer limo powered by baby seals (Our governments are very much the same)

"NASA says that there may be 100 times more water on the moon than they thought. There's so much water that BP is planning to go there and ruin it." –Craig Ferguson

"The Murdochs testified before parliament and did something that not many powerful people would have the courage to do: They blamed others." –Craig Ferguson

"Barack Obama's not the only one on the hot seat right now. The CEO of BP is taking a lot of flak. His name is Tony Hayward. Today, President Obama had a meeting with Hayward at the White House. It got off to the wrong start. Hayward arrived in a Hummer limo powered by baby seals." –Craig Ferguson

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

I wanted to see Rupert Murdoch put his hand on the Bible and burst into flames! (Zombie Food Pyramid)

April 2023

“Dominion Voting Systems settled its defamation lawsuit against Fox News on Tuesday, with the conservative news network agreeing to pay $787.5 million to avoid a trial. I want my trial! I want it! You were supposed to provide me six weeks of delicious content! I wanted to see Rupert Murdoch put his hand on the Bible and burst into flames!” —Stephen Colbert

“I guess it’s satisfying for Dominion that Rupey had to fork over a pile of cash, but that does nothing for our democracy. What we need is Fox News personalities to look straight into the camera, admit that they lied over and over again about the 2020 election, and then hurl themselves into Mount Doom.” —Stephen Colbert

“Fox News settled for $787.5 Million. That’s a lot of dough-minion.” —Stephen Colbert

“To counter any negative news, the company released an ad in the New York Times claiming that 41% of viewers still trusted the network. So less then half, kind of a weird thing to brag about.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

one of the beautiful things that God has given to the human person (Not the way I do it)

April 2023

Rupert Murdoch’s engagement to Ann Leslie Smith has been called off. Apparently, she got cold feet after Murdoch passed his physical. —Michael Che

In a new documentary, Pope Francis praises the virtues of sex, calling it one of the beautiful things that God has given to the human person. Not the way I do it. —Michael Che

Tennessee republicans expelled two black lawmakers for protesting gun violence, but did not expel a white lawmaker who protested with them. Republicans said they know what it looks like, but they were actually expelled because their skin is black. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I believe the scale goes: mad, increasingly mad, inciting a coup, strangling his Secret Service driver, and dinner with Kanye (Scooby Doo)

March 2023

“There are new revelations about Fox News. The big surprise is something that should surprise no one: Fox News doesn’t believe a word they say, and neither should you. Private messages in which Rupert Murdoch, the billionaire owner of Fox News, worried that Trump was going ‘increasingly mad’. I’m just curious, Rupie – at what point in his madness might it occur to you to report that the most powerful man in the world has grown increasingly mad? I believe the scale goes: mad, increasingly mad, inciting a coup, strangling his Secret Service driver, and dinner with Kanye.” —Stephen Colbert

“Murdoch said under oath that he believes the 2020 election was free, fair and not stolen. But new communications reveal that after Fox’s own vote tracking team called Arizona for Biden, the network held an emergency meeting in which the CEO, Suzanne Scott, lamented, ‘if we hadn’t called Arizona, those three or four days following election day, our ratings would have been bigger’ because ‘the mystery would have been still hanging out there’. That’s right, Fox News believes news should be mysterious. They learned their journalism from Scooby Doo.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Next time you’re in Rupert’s office, make sure you’re not standing on top of any trapdoors (It’s like that, but without Simon Cowell)

March 2023

“The Conservative Political Action Conference, also known as CPAC, kicked off this week in Maryland. It’s kinda hard to explain. Every like low-rent radio host and podcast racist with a dye job and a fleece vest shows up to try to out-crazy each other. Remember the first seasons of American Idol? When the losers would just line up and get mowed down by Simon Cowell? It’s like that, but without Simon Cowell.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“One notable absentee from this year’s CPAC is Mike Pence. Not only is the former vice-poodle skipping CPAC this year, he appears to be distancing himself further from his former boss. Asked by CBS News if he would support Trump as the Republican nominee for 2024, Pence deferred: ‘Well, I think we’ll have better choices, and I really trust Republican voters.’ So, no. Has anyone dodged more questions than Mike Pence? This man was Donald Trump’s vice-president and he wouldn’t vote for him. Do you realize how unusual that is? It’s like if macaroni said goodbye to cheese.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Looking into the defamation lawsuit against Fox News by Dominion Voting Systems. For years now, the shtick over at Fox should be the same. They lie to their viewers while simultaneously telling those same viewers that it’s the rest of the media who’s lying to them and that Fox is the only outlet telling the truth. But their shtick is falling apart now that we have definitive proof in these court filings from the billion-dollar Dominion lawsuit that were not only lying, but they knew they were lying. Billionaire Fox News owner Rupert Murdoch said under oath that Fox News executives who knowingly allowed lies about the 2020 election to be broadcast ‘should be reprimanded’ or ‘maybe got rid of’. Wow, notice he didn’t say fired. He said ‘got rid of’. I’d be a little nervous if I worked over at Fox News. Next time you’re in Rupert’s office, make sure you’re not standing on top of any trapdoors.” —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He’s constantly terrified that they’ll find a new, more satisfying glory hole (Did I stab that fella?)

February 2023

“There was a stunning deposition by Rupert Murdoch, the billionaire owner of Fox News, in the defamation lawsuit against the network by Dominion Voting Systems. Murdoch admitted under oath that Fox hosts Sean Hannity, Jeanine Pirro, Lou Dobbs and Maria Bartiromo and others knowingly endorsed Donald Trump’s lie about the 2020 election and undermined Joe Biden’s victory. But when asked if Fox News endorsed Trump’s big election lies, Murdoch answered ‘Not Fox … No. Not Fox’. But if your most viewed hosts endorsed it, then your network endorsed it! I’d like to see this guy in a murder trial – ‘did I stab that fella? No. I mean, my hand did, but he’s an independent contractor.’” —Stephen Colbert

“We dug into the Murdoch deposition, though I wouldn’t call what we found out shocking. Fox knew the election wasn’t stolen but they said it anyway? That’s not shocking. If Brian Kilmeade ever completed a Wordle – that would be shocking.— Hasan Minhaj

“I’m not shocked, but I will say: I am very entertained, because of all the text messages between Fox News hosts revealed in discovery. There’s LinkedIn you. And then there’s iMessage you. That’s the deep, dark underbelly of who you really are. And boy oh boy were these iMessages good. For example, Tucker Carlson sent Laura Ingraham a text saying: ‘Sidney Powell is lying … it’s insane.’ Ingraham responded: ‘She is a complete nut.’ Carlson also called Trump a ‘demonic force’. Ingraham referred to Rudy Giuliani as an ‘idiot’, while Hannity texted that he ‘was acting like an insane person’. Oh my God, do you know what this means? These people are secretly sane. They also don’t respect anyone they have on their show. These guys are texting each other all day about how bullshit Fox News is. Their group chat is basically MSNBC. There was one text from Carlson that truly freaks me out. Carlson wrote: ‘Do the executives understand how much credibility and trust we’ve lost with our audience? We’re playing with fire … for real and alternative like Newsmax could be devastating to us.’ Think of it like this: Tucker Carlson is a moral vacuum. A hole, if you will, who glorifies election deniers. So, a glory hole. And his viewers expect him to please them with his mouth. And he’s constantly terrified that they’ll find a new, more satisfying glory hole. And that’s why Tucker Carlson will never stop sucking.” — Hasan Minhaj

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Seriously, was the set from ‘Dahmer’ not available? (Come here, boy! Come on. Remember who raised you)

November 2022

“Donald Trump made the big announcement from Mar-a-Lago, or, as it's also known, the summer home of the National Archives.” —Jimmy Fallon

“I’m pretty sure this is the first presidential campaign to be kicked off from an active crime scene. Seriously, was the set from ‘Dahmer’ not available?” —Jimmy Fallon

“Fox News founder Rupert Murdoch reportedly told Trump that he will not back his 2024 White House bid. Apparently, Rupert Murdoch isn't supporting Trump because he prefers Ron DeSantis. Ironically, that's the first time Trump was the one to get dumped for someone younger.” —Jimmy Fallon

“Yes, Murdoch is breaking away from Trump, so now they're going to set Sean Hannity in the middle of the room and see which one he goes to. It's like, ‘Come here. Come here, boy. Come here. Come here, boy! Come on. Remember who raised you.’” —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He was in charge of a state where some maniac was hiding stolen nuclear secrets? (Don't you dare tell me how to freedom)

November 2022

A 25 year old from Florida will become the first Gen-Z member of congress. Younger, said Matt Gaetz. —Colin Jost

Rupert Murdoch this week officially turned on Donald Trump. First, the New York Post ran a cover calling Ron DeSantis, Ron DeFuture, even though Ron DeFuture sounds more like a drag queen from outer space. Then on Thursday, the New York Post showed Donald Trump as an egg sitting on a wall with the headline, Trumpty Dumpty, which had to be the easiest Photoshop job in history. And now Trump is threatening to reveal unflattering information about DeSantis. For example, did you know Ron DeSantis is in charge of a state where some maniac was hiding stolen nuclear secrets? —Colin Jost

A woman in Delaware won $400,000 after hitting back to back Lottos in the same day. But the woman is still going to keep her day job. Forging lottery tickets. —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

You won't even stand up for me right here at home (Crikey!)

December 2021

“Fox News hosts continued their insistence that the Christmas tree outside its headquarters had been burned down as part of the war on Christmas. [imitating Tucker Carlson] When will it end? Will every new variant mean new powers for our political class? Will they be able to test you, trace you, come to your house and inject you with a microchip hidden in a vaccine that tracks your movements? 

And will that tracking microchip allow them to see that you went to the anime convention, in secret, of course, because you didn’t want your friends at Fox News to know you’re into that kind of thing. And will they find out about the time you asked Sean Hannity what he thought of ‘Dragon Ball Z,’ and he looked at you like you were crazy, and that hurt your feelings so much that you ran into the bathroom to cry, only to realize you had run into the women’s bathroom.

And you were so worried that someone would see you run out that you instead removed a ceiling panel and climbed into a heating duct for the purposes of shimmying back to your office, not knowing that the duct wouldn’t be strong enough to support your weight, causing you to, mid-shimmy, collapse through the ceiling, where you landed on top of Rupert Murdoch’s desk while he was sitting at it, causing him to look up from his soup and yell ‘Crikey!’ Will that happen to you? Well, I can tell you it will because it happened to me.” —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Spoiler alert: They don't have any (I'm like, it's Britain. Who the heck does?)

November 2012

"Rupert Murdoch is the guy whose tabloids hacked into people's phones in England. He's back in hot water today. The British parliamentary commission delivered its findings. The report assessed the standards and ethics of the British tabloids. Spoiler alert: They don't have any." –Craig Ferguson

"The investigation concluded that Britain's current press watchdog has no teeth. I'm like, it's Britain. Who the heck does?" –Craig Ferguson

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Perfect to run a Hollywood studio, or Congress (a prison without walls)

May 2012

"Rupert Murdoch got some bad news today. British lawmakers said Murdoch is unfit to run a company. Is that news? He's 160 years old. Of course he's unfit to run a company. But perfect to run a Hollywood studio, or Congress." –Craig Ferguson

"Occupy Wall Street is back. There were protests everywhere today. They marched all the way to the White House. It's not easy to get all the way to the White House. Just ask Newt Gingrich." –Craig Ferguson

"Occupy Wall Street is in L.A. as well. They were expecting thousands of protesters, but it didn't happen. A lot of people stayed home because there was something very frightening going on in L.A. today — a light rain." –Craig Ferguson

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html

“A poet that belongs with the Masters. A magisterial collection. A combination of 

Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

Of course he's unfit to run a company (Just ask Newt Gingrich)

May 2012

"Rupert Murdoch got some bad news today. British lawmakers said Murdoch is unfit to run a company. Is that news? He's 160 years old. Of course he's unfit to run a company. But perfect to run a Hollywood studio, or Congress." –Craig Ferguson

"Occupy Wall Street is back. There were protests everywhere today. They marched all the way to the White House. It's not easy to get all the way to the White House. Just ask Newt Gingrich." –Craig Ferguson

"Occupy Wall Street is in L.A. as well. They were expecting thousands of protesters, but it didn't happen. A lot of people stayed home because there was something very frightening going on in L.A. today — a light rain." –Craig Ferguson

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html

“A poet that belongs with the Masters. A magisterial collection. A combination of 

Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

Two crazy dictators in fashionable lady's glasses (that's Arnold Schwarzenegger's job)

October 2011

"The Occupy Wall Street protesters gathered outside Rupert Murdoch's house. Don’t protest outside of a rich man's house in the daytime, you'll just scare the maid, and that's Arnold Schwarzenegger's job." –Craig Ferguson

"Herman Cain said he wants people to know that there's more between his ears than pepperoni and pizza sauce. He says there's also a few napkins and crazy bread." –Conan O'Brien

"Tim Pawlenty says he regrets quitting the presidential race so early. He said that when he runs in 2016, his campaign slogan will be, 'Tim Pawlenty: This Time I'll Quit Later.'" –Conan O'Brien 

"Sarah Palin gave a speech in South Korea. Just what the Koreans needed: Two crazy dictators in fashionable lady's glasses." –Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I swear she's going to run for Mayor of Cockblockington (On the bright side...)

August 2011

"After all the rioting in London this week, officials are worried that it could mean security problems for the Olympics next year. On the bright side, the guy running with the torch will just blend right in." –Jimmy Fallon

"During a call with investors, Rupert Murdoch said that News Corp made $2.7 billion last year. Murdoch said if investors had any questions, they should contact him by leaving a message on their own voicemails." –Jimmy Fallon

"Sarah Palin is bringing her bus to Iowa. She's not going to be part of the debate, just close enough to drown it out. I swear she's going to run for Mayor of Cockblockington." –Jon Stewart

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

The other 54 percent think Congress is 'extremely corrupt (less than he usually pays for a prime minister)

July 2011

"A record 46 percent of Americans think Congress is 'corrupt.' The other 54 percent think Congress is 'extremely corrupt.'" –Jay Leno

"Manchester United is the most valuable sports franchise in the world. A few years ago, it was the target of a takeover by Captain Evil himself: Rupert Murdoch. Murdoch was going to buy Manchester United for less than he usually pays for a prime minister." –Craig Ferguson

"John Boehner told Republicans to 'get in line.' He was very angry. His face turned from orange to mandarin orange." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Sarah Palin said that if a deal isn't reached by Aug. 2, nothing will happen. Do you hear that, award-winning economists?" –Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”