no one in the Army understands that language now (That was my idea)

"Let's not forget the disturbing news about the Middle East coming out of America. This week Bleu Copas became the 55th Arabic translator discharged under the Army's 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' policy. After being tipped off by anonymous emails investigators asked him if he had any gay friends and, this is true, if he was involved in community theater. By the way, Bleu Copas, who would have thought somebody named for a French cheese would be gay? Copas is accepting an honorable discharge but only to keep friends from being targeted. He says of his situation: 'It is unfair. It is unjust. Even with the policy we have, it should never have happened.' Sadly his protest was for naught as he made the statement in Arabic and no one in the Army understands that language now." --Jon Stewart

"Al Qaeda wasted no time in naming Zarqawi's successor and he is Abu Hamza al-Muhajer. Congratulations, al-Muhajer. You're the new leader of al Qaeda in Iraq and with that comes this beautiful dinette set and a brand new Pontiac Firebird. Come on down and collect your prize. I guess we'll have to find another way to catch him. That was my idea." --Jon Stewart

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The apple can fall from the tree and land in a billionaire wine cave (they actually get 72 raisins)

"The good news for al-Zarqawi is according to Islamic law, he does get 72 virgins. The bad news is they're all William Hung. Actually there is some disagreement among those who study the Koran about whether so-called martyrs get 72 virgins. Many say it is a mistranslation and they actually get 72 raisins." --Jimmy Kimmel

"The Dow fell 504 points yesterday. I'll be honest, I have no idea what that means, but apparently it's really bad. On Wall Street they were calling it Black Monday. And John McCain was quick to point out it was Black Monday, not Old White Monday." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Cheney sat down for a one-on-one with Fox News. Very bold choice. Dick Cheney sitting down with Fox News is like Mrs. Butterworth sitting down with the Pancake Channel." –Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It looks now like Client 9 will soon be looking for wife number 2 (that moves Ann Coulter up to first place)

 

"You know, I'm a half-full kind of guy. I always try to put a positive spin on stuff. Sure, it's a horrible story. On the other hand, you look at it this way, Spitzer was supporting New York's number one industry." --David Letterman

 

"I don't know about you, but when I heard about this scandal here's the first thing I thought. I said, 'Woah, there's another success for eHarmony.com.'" --David Letterman

"Eliot Spitzer went through this call girl thing. He was known as a regular customer. He was known as Client 9. It looks now like Client 9 will soon be looking for wife number 2." –David Letterman

"Abu Musab al-Zarqawi was the world's most unhinged lunatic. He's now dead, so that moves Ann Coulter up to first place." --David Letterman

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It's like Groundhog Day with A**holes (Warm Up the Virgins)

 

"There have been charges of foul play from both sides. Obama has accused Clinton of smearing him by implying that he's a Muslim or Muslim-sympathizer, and Clinton has accused Obama and his people of trying to dump a bucket of water on her and make her melt." --Jimmy Kimmel

 

"We finally got some good news yesterday from the war in Iraq. As you have probably heard, the Air Force exploded Iraq's head of al Qaeda, Abu Musab al-Zarqawi. I was looking forward to seeing what the New York Post had to say about it. This is the actual cover of the newspaper. There you see the dead face of al-Zarqawi with the cartoon bubble saying, 'Warm up the Virgins.' Coincidentally, 'Warm up the Virgins' is also Arnold Schwarzenegger's new campaign slogan." --Jimmy Kimmel

"It's about as low as you can go without getting caught in a Port-O-John with George Michael." --Jimmy Kimmel, on Bush's low approval rating

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”