reporting is putting press releases into your own words (ejected for head-butting)

"It's so hot today, George W. Bush told Al Roker to stop doing that [bleeped]. That's what President Bush said at the G-8 Summit. He was overheard using dirty language at the G-8 Summit and not only that, later he was ejected for head-butting." --David Letterman

"President Bush is in Russia for the G-8 Summit and he has an agenda. A lot of people are stunned -- he has an agenda? He wants to talk about the hot spots in the world. He wants to talk about fighting in the Middle East. He wants to talk about missiles in North Korea. He wants to talk about 'Pirates in the Caribbean'." --David Letterman

"Apparently at the G-8 luncheon, the president, not realizing his mic was on, made some comments about Syria, Kofi Annan and Diet Coke. Diet Coke came out on top. Anyway, the mainstream media seems to think we have a right to know what he said to Tony Blair. Well, we don't folks. If we need to know, it would have been put in a press release. I've said it before, reporting is putting press releases into your own words." --Stephen Colbert