As a result, it's been renamed the not-so-safe house (Little Pieces)

"According to the military, they got al-Zarqawi while he was hiding in his safe house. As a result, it's been renamed the 'not-so-safe house.'" --Conan O'Brien

"U.S. forces killed terrorist al-Zarqawi in an air strike. We didn't get the devil on 666, but we only missed by one day. He was hit by two 500 pound bombs. In fact, al-Zarqawi's name is now ow-ow-ow-Zarqawi. You know what his last words were? 'Holy Shiite.'" --Jay Leno

"I think al-Zarqawi knew what his fate was going to be, like today they released his autobiography. Coincidentally it's called, 'I'm in a Million Little Pieces.'" --Jay Leno

Crooked CEOs (domestic terrorists)

"Speaking of Congress, the other day -- very quietly -- they voted themselves a $3,300 pay raise. Why not? Job well done. A lot of added expenses this year: legal fees, criminal defense lawyers."  --Jay Leno

  

"Congress gave itself a big raise this week and voted against the minimum wage, which is kind of ironic. I mean if anybody should getting minimum wage, it's Congress." --Jay Leno

  

"Apparently at the G-8 luncheon, the president, not realizing his mic was on, made some comments about Syria, Kofi Annan and Diet Coke. Diet Coke came out on top. Anyway, the mainstream media seems to think we have a right to know what he said to Tony Blair. Well, we don't folks. If we need to know, it would have been put in a press release. I've said it before, reporting is putting press releases into your own words." --Stephen Colbert