he spent the whole visit on Farmville, clearing brush (Christ, It's Cold Out Parade)

"Promoting his new book, President Bush visited the headquarters of Facebook. Unfortunately, he spent the whole visit on Farmville, clearing brush." –Conan O'Brien

"WikiLeaks released more than 250,000 secret documents, some of which refer to computer passwords for world leaders. The most shocking revelation: Kofi Annan's password is 'BieberFan9.'" –Conan O'Brien

"A Senator from Oklahoma says he won't participate in his state's holiday parade unless they put Christ back in the title. So get ready for this year's 'Christ, It's Cold Out Parade.'" –Conan O’Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Congress, very quietly voted themselves a $3,300 pay raise (Why not? Job well done)

"Speaking of Congress, the other day -- very quietly -- they voted themselves a $3,300 pay raise. Why not? Job well done. A lot of added expenses this year: legal fees, criminal defense lawyers."  --Jay Leno

"Congress gave itself a big raise this week and voted against the minimum wage, which is kind of ironic. I mean if anybody should getting minimum wage, it's Congress." --Jay Leno

"Apparently at the G-8 luncheon, the president, not realizing his mic was on, made some comments about Syria, Kofi Annan and Diet Coke. Diet Coke came out on top. Anyway, the mainstream media seems to think we have a right to know what he said to Tony Blair. Well, we don't folks. If we need to know, it would have been put in a press release. I've said it before, reporting is putting press releases into your own words." --Stephen Colbert

Crooked CEOs (domestic terrorists)

"Speaking of Congress, the other day -- very quietly -- they voted themselves a $3,300 pay raise. Why not? Job well done. A lot of added expenses this year: legal fees, criminal defense lawyers."  --Jay Leno

  

"Congress gave itself a big raise this week and voted against the minimum wage, which is kind of ironic. I mean if anybody should getting minimum wage, it's Congress." --Jay Leno

  

"Apparently at the G-8 luncheon, the president, not realizing his mic was on, made some comments about Syria, Kofi Annan and Diet Coke. Diet Coke came out on top. Anyway, the mainstream media seems to think we have a right to know what he said to Tony Blair. Well, we don't folks. If we need to know, it would have been put in a press release. I've said it before, reporting is putting press releases into your own words." --Stephen Colbert

if anybody should getting minimum wage, it's Congress (Why not? Job well done.)

"Speaking of Congress, the other day -- very quietly -- they voted themselves a $3,300 pay raise. Why not? Job well done. A lot of added expenses this year: legal fees, criminal defense lawyers."  --Jay Leno

  

"Congress gave itself a big raise this week and voted against the minimum wage, which is kind of ironic. I mean if anybody should getting minimum wage, it's Congress." --Jay Leno 

"Apparently at the G-8 luncheon, the president, not realizing his mic was on, made some comments about Syria, Kofi Annan and Diet Coke. Diet Coke came out on top. Anyway, the mainstream media seems to think we have a right to know what he said to Tony Blair. Well, we don't folks. If we need to know, it would have been put in a press release. I've said it before, reporting is putting press releases into your own words." --Stephen Colbert

reporting is putting press releases into your own words (ejected for head-butting)

"It's so hot today, George W. Bush told Al Roker to stop doing that [bleeped]. That's what President Bush said at the G-8 Summit. He was overheard using dirty language at the G-8 Summit and not only that, later he was ejected for head-butting." --David Letterman

"President Bush is in Russia for the G-8 Summit and he has an agenda. A lot of people are stunned -- he has an agenda? He wants to talk about the hot spots in the world. He wants to talk about fighting in the Middle East. He wants to talk about missiles in North Korea. He wants to talk about 'Pirates in the Caribbean'." --David Letterman

"Apparently at the G-8 luncheon, the president, not realizing his mic was on, made some comments about Syria, Kofi Annan and Diet Coke. Diet Coke came out on top. Anyway, the mainstream media seems to think we have a right to know what he said to Tony Blair. Well, we don't folks. If we need to know, it would have been put in a press release. I've said it before, reporting is putting press releases into your own words." --Stephen Colbert