"Halloween is
tomorrow. Of course, that's when little kids come to your house looking for
candy. Or as Congressman Mark Foley calls it, 'speed dating.'" --Jay Leno
"You want to scare
Hillary Clinton tomorrow night? Here's what you do -- knock on her door dressed
as Barack Obama and yell, 'I'm running.'" --Jay Leno
"Nevada gubernatorial
candidate Jim Gibbons has been accused of trying to fondle a single mom in a
parking garage after a night of heavy drinking. Now they're saying, to win, he
has to give the speech of his life. And that's just to Mrs. Gibbons."
--Jay Leno
"Rush Limbaugh
recently upset a lot of people because he accused Michael J. Fox of
exaggerating his Parkinson's disease symptoms for political reasons. Then
Limbaugh accused Stevie Wonder exaggerating his blindness for free
sunglasses." --Conan O'Brien
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