"More rockets were
fired into Israel today. Israel responded by bombing more targets inside
Lebanon. Now there's talk the U.S. might send some troops over there to help
with border security. That's when you know the people over there are in
trouble, when they start asking our advice on border security." --Jay Leno
"Still no letup in
the Mideast crisis. Israeli planes have been dropping thousands of leaflets
that warn Lebanese citizens to stay away from Hezbollah members. The leaflets
also promote a special at Nate 'n Al's Deli in Tel Aviv." --Conan O'Brien
"The U.S. government
has chartered a cruise ship to evacuate Americans stuck in Lebanon. Officials
say their first priority is getting everyone out of Lebanon. Their second
priority is organizing a shuffleboard tournament on the Lido deck."
--Conan O'Brien
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