a nice beautiful wall paid for by Mexico (morning bowl of steroids)

There's a lot of controversy around the summer Olympic Games and now Russia's track and field team are barred from the competition after allegations of use of performance-enhancing drugs. Apparently the Russian athletes were so upset they barely had enough of an appetite to finish their morning bowl of steroids. –James Corden

Hillary Clinton gave a speech in Columbus, Ohio, where she called Trump an uncaring businessman. Which I guess is supposed to be an insult, except those are the exact words he has printed on his business card. –Jimmy Kimmel

Hillary Clinton's senior adviser said if we were to put Trump behind the wheel of the American economy, he would drive us off a cliff. That's ridiculous. He's going to drive us into a wall, a nice beautiful wall paid for by Mexico. –Jimmy Kimmel