It should go twice as fast once the 'Orient Queen' is joined by its sister ship, the 'Asian Flamer.'

"To be fair, we are getting Americans out. Earlier today, 1,000 Americans were evacuated from Lebanon aboard a cruise ship called the 'Orient Queen.' The evacuation should go twice as fast once the 'Orient Queen' is joined by its sister ship, the 'Asian Flamer.'" --Conan O'Brien

"President Bush is back in Washington. He's back from the big G-8 Summit in Russia. President Bush said he got a lot of s--- done." --David Letterman

"Apparently the G-8 Summit was not that successful. Only one good thing came out of the G-8 Summit. They issued a desperate plea to Superman." --David Letterman

"Big day today. Our boy George has become a man. George W. Bush has finally lost his veto virginity. He gave it to stem cell research good. The president wanted to make the first time special -- and I'm not condoning this -- he did it in front of a bunch of kids." --Stephen Colbert