"It's so hot today
that Dick Cheney looked in the mirror just to get that cold stare coming back
on his face. It was so hot people are standing along the border of North Korea
just to catch the breeze of all the missiles going by." --Jay Leno
"The government of Afghanistan
has sent a letter to the news stations and all journalists in that country
ordering them to report only favorable news about the government. Now I know
that sounds harsh, but you have to remember they don't have Fox News over
there." --Jay Leno
"President Bush says
he gets up every morning at 5:30 a.m. and he makes a cup of coffee for his
wife, Laura. Isn't that nice? And he has to tip-toe very softly because Cheney
has a gun under his pillow." --David Letterman
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