I guess that means people are really just happy to see you (cops say their job has never been easier)

 

There's a new dating site that's specifically for people who love Disney movies called "Mouse Mingle." Guys who join the site say they love it, while cops say their job has never been easier. –Jimmy Fallon

The world's most popular type of banana is now facing extinction due to a fungus in Panama. Yep. We're facing a banana shortage, so I guess that means people are really just happy to see you. –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

So I guess that means people are really just happy to see you (Kim Jong Sandusky)

The world's most popular type of banana is now facing extinction due to a fungus in Panama. Yep. We're facing a banana shortage, so I guess that means people are really just happy to see you. –Jimmy Fallon

"A new survey found that 'Sophia' and 'Aiden' were the most popular baby names this year. The least popular baby name was Kim Jong Sandusky." –Jimmy Fallon

Yesterday, Jill Stein officially requested a hand recount of 4.8 million ballots in Michigan, but Donald Trump says he’s going to fight it, by shouting out other numbers while they’re trying to count. –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

Yeah, then he told the American people to bend over (You actually have to take a bite)

"This is a weird story. President Bush has apologized today for scolding a member of the White House press corps for wearing sunglasses because he found out the reporter is legally blind. Bush also apologized for telling physicist Stephen Hawking 'to get off your lazy a--.'" --Conan O'Brien

The U.S. Postal Service announced that they will release their first scratch-and-sniff stamps. That explains why they’ve canceled their "Salute to Kid Rock." --Conan O’Brien

"Yesterday, after the Dow Jones industrial average dropped over 500 points, President Bush chimed in. This is what he said. He said, 'Adjustments in the financial markets can be difficult.' Yeah, then he told the American people to bend over." --Conan O'Brien

A sinkhole has opened up on the White House lawn. So apparently, another one of Melania's tunnels collapsed. --Conan O’Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Never make eye contact while eating a banana (Trump White House and Casino)

March 2013

“The Obamas' dog Bo still travels with his own motorcade. After hearing this, Vice President Joe Biden said "Wait, why am I still taking the train?’” –Conan O’Brien

“After tours of the White House were canceled due to budget cuts, Donald Trump offered to pay for them. All he's asking is they rename it the Trump White House and Casino.” –Conan O’Brien

“Cardinals are starting to vote on a new Pope. Apparently for someone to become Pope, they have to receive 77 of the votes from the cardinals. They also have to win Ohio and Florida.” –Conan O’Brien

“The former mayor of Detroit has been convicted of racketeering and extortion charges. The sentence is pretty hard. He has to serve another term as mayor of Detroit.” –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It's all part of my plan to make sure no babies vote against me in 2020 (This is banana and definitely not recording device)

Donald Trump wants to use an executive order to end birthright citizenship, which is when a non-citizen gives birth in the U.S., making the baby a citizen. Trump was like, "It's all part of my plan to make sure no babies vote against me in 2020." --Jimmy Fallon

I read about a cafeteria worker in Virginia who writes positive messages for students on bananas. Take a look at this. Pretty cool. Look at that. "You're smart." "Dream big." "Inspire yourself." Yeah, it's pretty uplifting. Well, I guess the White House cafeteria does something similar. But their message in the White House aren't quite the same. I'll show you what they mean. For example, this first banana says, "Get out while you can." This next one says [Russian accent] "This is banana and definitely not recording device." And finally, this banana says, "Note to President -- This is not a phone." --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”