Salute to Kid Rock (wild berries, plus sugar, minus wild berries)

Froot Loops cereal has added a new flavor, Wild Berry. People who tried the new flavor say it tastes like “wild berries, plus sugar, minus wild berries." --Conan O’Brien

 The U.S. Postal Service announced that they will release their first scratch-and-sniff stamps. That explains why they’ve canceled their "Salute to Kid Rock." --Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

I believe the scale goes: mad, increasingly mad, inciting a coup, strangling his Secret Service driver, and dinner with Kanye (Scooby Doo)

March 2023

“There are new revelations about Fox News. The big surprise is something that should surprise no one: Fox News doesn’t believe a word they say, and neither should you. Private messages in which Rupert Murdoch, the billionaire owner of Fox News, worried that Trump was going ‘increasingly mad’. I’m just curious, Rupie – at what point in his madness might it occur to you to report that the most powerful man in the world has grown increasingly mad? I believe the scale goes: mad, increasingly mad, inciting a coup, strangling his Secret Service driver, and dinner with Kanye.” —Stephen Colbert

“Murdoch said under oath that he believes the 2020 election was free, fair and not stolen. But new communications reveal that after Fox’s own vote tracking team called Arizona for Biden, the network held an emergency meeting in which the CEO, Suzanne Scott, lamented, ‘if we hadn’t called Arizona, those three or four days following election day, our ratings would have been bigger’ because ‘the mystery would have been still hanging out there’. That’s right, Fox News believes news should be mysterious. They learned their journalism from Scooby Doo.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

How much sawdust can we put in a Rice Crispy treat before people notice? (He’s literally a Scooby-Doo villain at this point)

January 2023

“Santos’s former roommate and a disabled veteran named Richard Osthoff also revealed that the New York representative tricked Osthoff into setting up a GoFundMe for his ailing service dog, then took the money when the fundraiser reached its goal. Well, that there is a ticket straight to hell. He’s literally a Scooby-Doo villain at this point.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“This week, the new Republican congressman’s former roommate told Anderson Cooper on CNN that George Santos (who went by the name Anthony Devolder at the time) stole his Burberry scarf to wear at the Stop the Steal rally on January 6th. What’s the problem? Stealing was the theme of the rally! The Burberry bandit is on the loose.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“So you’re telling me this man didn’t just steal $3,000 from a dog? He didn’t just steal from a service dog. He didn’t just steal from a dying service dog. He stole from a disabled homeless veteran’s dying service dog? Oh my God! You evil and stupid. You’re going to mess with somebody’s dog – have you not heard of John Wick? Your ass is in trouble.” —Leslie Jones

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Actually, the shocking twist is that it's hosted by Mike Pence (Joke's on you. I never had a license, to begin with)

December 2022

“That's right, just ten more days until Christmas and 900 more emails from Amazon.” —Jimmy Fallon

“Today in Washington, a disciplinary council called for Rudy Giuliani to be disbarred. Rudy was like — [As Giuliani] Joke's on you. I never had a license, to begin with.” —Jimmy Fallon

“Did you see this? TLC just announced a new reality dating show called ‘MILF Manor.’ It features eight women, eight younger men, and one shocking twist. Yeah, I think the shocking twist is that TLC used to stand for The Learning Channel. Actually, the shocking twist is that it's hosted by Mike Pence.” —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

And also, they weren’t reporters. They were doctors (that explains why Scooby-Doo is now a rescue Pit bull)

October 2022

President Biden was heard criticizing reporters at the White House for shouting questions at him. Questions like, ‘What year is it?’ And ‘Whose the current president?’ And also, they weren’t reporters. They were doctors. —Colin Jost

Planned Parenthood is going to open up its first mobile clinic in the country and it is going to go anywhere in the country where Herschel Walker has visited. —Colin Jost

The Empire State Building lit up blue and white to celebrate Aaron Judge hitting his record 62nd home run of the season, while over in Queens, a port-a-potty was set on fire in honor of the Mets blowing the division. —Colin Jost

In a new Scooby-Doo Halloween special, the character Velma is openly depicted a s a lesbian, and that explains why Scooby-Doo is now a rescue Pit bull. —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

rehabilitating his image by singing Shake Your Groove Thing dressed as a pineapple (and extra dickles)

February 2022

“Former Trump lawyer Rudy Giuliani was unmasked during a recent taping of the reality show The Masked Singer. The guy who’s trying to destroy our country? He’s singing on a show! How does this even happen? I mean, a lot of people at Fox had to sign off on this – not one of them was like, ‘Hey maybe we shouldn’t have the guy who’s under investigation for helping to plot an insurrection singing on our show?’ Why would Rudy even agree to do this? Was he thinking he was going to the Masked Singer Landscaping Company? Do you remember Giuliani’s infamous appearance at Four Seasons Total Landscaping in November 2020? Only Rudy Giuliani would try to overthrow the government, break wind loudly in court, sweat hair dye all over one press conference, have another one next to a dildo store, and then try to rehabilitate his image by singing Shake Your Groove Thing dressed as a pineapple.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“As for the network that cast Giuliani for the show – Fox Network really should be ashamed of themselves. They should have another show after The Masked Singer that night called The Masked Executives – all the Fox executives come out in costumes. The one who greenlit this idea takes off the mask and gets voted off television forever.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“How does this even happen? I mean, a lot of people at Fox had to sign off on this. Not one of them was like, ‘Hey, maybe we shouldn’t have the guy who is under investigation for helping to plot an insurrection singing on our show’?” —Jimmy Kimmel

“The only people who should be unmasking Rudy Giuliani is the gang from ‘Scooby Doo,’ you know?” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/12/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and_10.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”