which is also my nickname at the strip club (Just as he was about to reveal what he saw at those Diddy parties)

Harry, the miniature donkey who served as a model for donkey in the Shrek movies, has died at the age of 30. Just as he was about to reveal what he saw at those Diddy parties. —Michael Che

A new study finds that the country with the largest average bra size is Norway. But America still has the largest average bra size for men. —Michael Che

In New York City, police are searching for the serial mugger who makes victims negotiate what he'll steal and is being called the Haggler After Midnight, which is also my nickname at the strip club. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Whoa, what's the president doing here? (Shrek 6)

It was revealed that DANIEL DAY LEWIS is coming out of his seven year retirement to film a new movie, and you won't believe it. It's Shrek six. —Colin Jost

President Biden made a surprise appearance at a white House press briefing on Friday, and it's not a great sign when you're at the white House and people are like, whoa, what's the president doing here? —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I had more leg room in the womb (Salute to Kid Rock)

The U.S. Postal Service announced that they will release their first scratch-and-sniff stamps. That explains why they’ve canceled their "Salute to Kid Rock." --Conan O’Brien

A sinkhole has opened up on the White House lawn. So apparently, another one of Melania's tunnels collapsed. --Conan O’Brien

"A woman on a Southwest Airlines flight gave birth to a baby. As soon as he was born, the baby said, 'I had more leg room in the womb.'" –Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Is it too late to convince them that the new US capital is Mar-a-Lago? (He's basically the George Santos of the groundhog world)

February 2023

“This week also saw news that North Korea was allegedly trying to create the ‘most overwhelming nuclear force’ for future attacks. Is it too late to convince them that the new US capital is Mar-a-Lago?” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Punxsutawney Phil has predicted six more weeks of winter. I read that he's only right 40% of the time. When they heard that, weather.com was like, ‘You’re hired. When can you start?’ Yeah, you can't trust Punxsutawney Phil. He's basically the George Santos of the groundhog world.” —Jimmy Fallon

“Meanwhile, in New York, we've got a groundhog named Staten Island Chuck. And he predicted an early spring. Well, technically he predicted an ‘early friggin' spring.’” —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

On the bright side, it’s the first positive news Biden’s gotten in months (Dad bods)

July 2022

“The White House announced that President Biden has a mild case of Covid. On the bright side, it’s the first positive news Biden’s gotten in months.” —Jimmy Fallon

“Get well soon, sir. You made it through the Spanish flu; you can make it through this.” —Trevor Noah

“That’s right, Covid isn’t going to slow Joe Biden down because he can’t get any slower.” —Stephen Colbert

“Another reason the president is going to be fine is because, let’s be honest, there’s not much that Covid can do to him. Let’s be honest, the virus is going to get in his body and be like, ‘let’s see what I can do here. Time to get some brain fog, some fatigue, some dizziness – wait, wait, have I already been here? What’s going on?’” —Trevor Noah

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

That would be like Scotland suing over the movie Shrek (Willie Nelson has arrived for the vote)

March 2013

“The nation of Iran is threatening to sue the makers of the movie Argo. They say the movie was an unrealistic portrayal of their country. You can't do that! That would be like Scotland suing over the movie Shrek.” –Craig Ferguson

“As of yet no Pope has been elected. Experts say the thick smoke seen pouring out of the Vatican indicates either the first ballot was a deadlock or that Willie Nelson has arrived for the vote.” –Craig Ferguson

“A New York City judge struck down a proposed law to ban sodas larger than 16 ounces. I think Mayor Bloomberg should spend his time trying to improve stuff like education. New York needs a better education system if kids didn't figure out they could get around the 16-ounce soda ban by simply purchasing two 12-ounce sodas.” –Craig Ferguson

“How would the government try to enforce something like that? It's not like Obama's got a secret fleet of robotic aircraft circling over, watching everything people do with little cameras.” –Craig Ferguson

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”