"GOP Congressman
Don Sherwood of Pennsylvania was recently sued by his Peruvian mistress for
allegedly beating and strangling her. Now Sherwood has admitted to having a
mistress but denies beating and strangling her. Still, there's probably not a
Republican that would be caught dead in the same room as that guy [on screen:
President Bush speaking at a Sherwood event]. Oh. Apparently, the president
believes his popularity still slightly lower than an alleged Peruvian mistress
strangler." --Jon Stewart
"According to Google
trends people in the world most likely to look up homosexual activity are in Saudi
Arabia, which is the ultimate dilemma for Republicans: gays with oil -- what do
we do now?" --Jay Leno
"Former Congressman
Mark Foley has decided to remain in rehab even though his 30-day treatment
ended last Tuesday. Apparently, phoney alcoholism is the trickiest kind of
alcoholism to treat. It's hard to detect because it never existed." --Jay
Leno
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