He's addicted to little Jack and little Daniel. That's the problem.

"Let's see what is going on with Father Foley. I'm sorry, Congressman Foley. As I'm sure you know by now, after getting caught sending explicit e-mails to underage boys, Florida Congressman Mark Foley has resigned. So his seat is up for grabs, which is what got him into trouble in the first place." --Jay Leno

"This is like the worst thing to happen to congressional Republicans since last Thursday. Most people think GOP stands for Gay Old Pedophile." --Jay Leno

"Mark Foley has now checked into rehab for alcoholism. Oh, shut up. Like that's the big problem. Who cares if he's addicted to Jack Daniels? He's addicted to little Jack and little Daniel. That's the problem." --Jay Leno