All he knows is if you pull it, you ice it (W. the film)

"Everyone knows that Congress people are assigned to committees based on their great weakness. Why would Senator Ted Stevens, a man more comfortable in the horse and buggy era, be in charge of regulating the Internet? Which he believes is a series of tubes -- a series of tubes though which other republican congressmen can reach through and fondle 16-year-olds." --John Oliver

"Mark Foley sent what appeared to be inappropriate e-mails and text messages to underage male congressional pages. Evidently, the Republican leadership knew about it anywhere from 11 months ago to 60 months ago. Now people are calling for House Speaker Denny Hastert to step down. That's totally unfair. He's a former high school wrestling coach. What would he know about the harassment of young boys? All he knows is if you pull it, you ice it." --Stephen Colbert