NBA2K: Indiana Pacers vs New York Knicks (Buzzer Beater)

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

NBA2K: Indiana Pacers vs New York Knicks (Dunks-Buzzer Beater)

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

NBA2K: Indiana Pacers vs New York Knicks (Buzzer Beater)

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

Eh, you get used to it (We did?)

A city in Uruguay this weekend held a cannabis cup, where a panel of experts judged marijuana on aroma, flavor, effects, and strength. The experts were like, "We did?" –Seth Meyers

And finally, soccer's governing body, FIFA, announced yesterday that it has added a new rule prohibiting goalkeepers from throwing the ball into the other team's net. "Eh, you get used to it," said the Knicks. --Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

you found a way to have a parade in New York City that doesn't screw up traffic! (the opposite of a Knicks game)

Fleet Week is when members of the Navy do the bravest thing they’ve ever done: wear all white on the New York City subway. –Jimmy Fallon

One of the events for Fleet Week is the “Parade of Ships” along the Hudson River. That's one more reason we love you guys — you found a way to have a parade in New York City that doesn't screw up traffic! –Jimmy Fallon

Everyone is excited about Fleet Week. All of New York will be applauding people in uniform, or as that's also known, the opposite of a Knicks game. --Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

NBA2K: Indiana Pacers vs New York Knicks (2OT-Buzzer Beater)

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

I believe this is the first empty skull to come out of Yale, well, I think since George W. Bush (My lips are for blowing)

Okay, so it's Fashion Week and also it's the Westminster Kennel Club dog show at Madison Square Garden. So usually it's the New York Knicks who are the only thing that rolled over and played dead in there. --David Letterman 2/10/2003

"Do you folks know anything about the Skull And Bones society? It's like a fraternal organization, at Yale University. Well, they're auctioning off a human skull. And I was thinking about this. I believe this is the first empty skull to come out of Yale, well, I think since George W. Bush, actually." –David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He asked for the angel hair just to smell it (Eh, you get used to it)

​​Dunkin' Donuts is partnering with Harpoon Brewery to release a coffee-infused beer. Not to be outdone, Four Loko is now partnering with heroin. --Seth Meyers

According to reports, former Vice President Joe Biden requires that his paid speaking engagements provide him with a dinner of angel hair pomodoro, caprese salad, and raspberry sorbet. And this is weird: He asked for the angel hair just to smell it. --Seth Meyers

And finally, soccer's governing body, FIFA, announced yesterday that it has added a new rule prohibiting goalkeepers from throwing the ball into the other team's net. "Eh, you get used to it," said the Knicks. --Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I think since George W. Bush, actually (rolled over and played dead)

Okay, so it's Fashion Week and also it's the Westminster Kennel Club dog show at Madison Square Garden. So usually it's the New York Knicks who are the only thing that rolled over and played dead in there. --David Letterman 2/10/2003

"Do you folks know anything about the Skull And Bones society? It's like a fraternal organization, at Yale University. Well, they're auctioning off a human skull. And I was thinking about this. I believe this is the first empty skull to come out of Yale, well, I think since George W. Bush, actually." –David Letterman

"Sarah Palin is doing a lot of public speaking, and next week, she will be in Las Vegas speaking at a liquor convention. And what a coincidence, because I think McCain was drunk when he picked her." –David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He now faces up to 5, 12, 14, 20, or 25 years in prison (bombing people from long range)

And finally, soccer's governing body, FIFA, announced yesterday that it has added a new rule prohibiting goalkeepers from throwing the ball into the other team's net. "Eh, you get used to it," said the Knicks. --Seth Meyers

A former Iowa lottery official was found guilty yesterday of rigging a computerized "Hot Lotto" game so he could win a $14 million jackpot. He now faces up to 5, 12, 14, 20, or 25 years in prison. –Seth Meyers

A city in Uruguay this weekend held a cannabis cup, where a panel of experts judged marijuana on aroma, flavor, effects, and strength. The experts were like, "We did?" –Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Political analysts are calling it a bold move that could change nothing (We are not even on the ride yet)

​​Everyone is excited about Fleet Week. All of New York will be applauding people in uniform, or as that's also known, the opposite of a Knicks game. --Jimmy Fallon

Disney World announced they are finally serving alcohol at every restaurant in the Magic Kingdom. Parents will say, "These giant teacups are spinning too fast," and the kids will be like, "We are not even on the ride yet." --Jimmy Fallon

"Jamaica is reportedly close to passing a measure that would legalize marijuana. Yeah, in Jamaica. Political analysts are calling it a bold move that could change nothing." –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I’m glad I’m not that guy (We all assume he failed everything)

There are so many investigations swirling around Donald Trump right now that R. Kelly is like, “I’m glad I’m not that guy.” --Stephen Colbert

Last week Michael Cohen told congress that Trump ordered him to threaten his high school to never release his grades. What could he possibly be hiding? We all assume he failed everything. --Stephen Colbert

“The NBA suspended its season, for example, so congratulations to the New York Knicks, it’s the best thing to happen to them all year.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

You have a worse record than that team that plays the Harlem Globetrotters (In honor of the new 51st U.S. state — panic)

First up, the Knicks. How is it possible that you play above Penn Station and still stink worse than anything in the building? You just traded your best player and went on an 18-game losing streak. You have a worse record than that team that plays the Harlem Globetrotters. --Seth Meyers

A restaurant here in New York has started selling a so-called “New Yorker milkshake” which comes topped with whipped cream and a slice of cheesecake. Which means the next topping you’ll get is a coffin lid. –Seth Meyers

The American flag behind Vice President Mike Pence during his speech in Brussels yesterday accidentally featured 51 stars instead of 50. In honor of the new 51st U.S. state — panic. –Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I’m pretty sure if you spend 17 days in Jersey, you become an honorary member of the E Street Band (National Girlfriends Day)

And finally, soccer's governing body, FIFA, announced yesterday that it has added a new rule prohibiting goalkeepers from throwing the ball into the other team's net. "Eh, you get used to it," said the Knicks. --Seth Meyers

Today was National Girlfriends Day, so don't forget to send her $130,000. --Seth Meyers

According to The Associated Press, President Trump will take a 17-day vacation starting tomorrow at his golf club in New Jersey. Seventeen days in New Jersey doesn’t sound like a vacation, it sounds like an episode of “I Survived.” That’s more days than Chris Christie has spent in New Jersey. I’m pretty sure if you spend 17 days in Jersey, you become an honorary member of the E Street Band. –Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

They haven't been this excited since Oktoberfest included an all-you-can-eat wiener buffet ($30,000 a day)

July 2014

"Germany is your World Cup champions, ladies and gentlemen. The winning German soccer team received a congratulatory phone call from Angela Merkel. Of course we know this because we're still bugging her phone." –David Letterman

"Congratulations, my German friends. They are World Cup champions. People in Germany were going nuts, firing guns into the air, marching up and down the streets. Then they heard about the World Cup win." –Craig Ferguson 

"Germans haven't been this excited since the release of the last David Hasselhoff album. They haven't been this excited since Oktoberfest included an all-you-can-eat wiener buffet." –Craig Ferguson

"People in Germany went bonkers. Rumor has it that up to half a dozen Germans actually cracked a smile." –Craig Ferguson

"Well, it was an amazing weekend in sports. LeBron James went back to being a Cavalier, Carmelo Anthony, went back to being a Knick, and soccer went back to being a thing you drive your kids to." –Seth Meyers

"Germany defeated Argentina 1-0 to win the World Cup. German fans went absolutely crazy from 9:00 until 9:15." –Seth Meyers 

"Brazil's coach resigned following the country's historic 7-1 loss in the World Cup last week. He says he wants to spend more time focusing on not being murdered." –Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Welcome to our beautiful city! Touch nothing. (Faces)

July 2022

“On Saturday, the W.H.O. declared monkeypox a global health emergency. No, no, W.H.O.! No new health emergencies until you finish your Covid, little mister!” —Stephen Colbert

“Why? Why! Another global health emergency? No! We just got done with ignoring this pandemic, I don’t know if I can handle another one.” —Trevor Noah

“The C.D.C. has provided some information on how monkeypox spreads, mainly through direct contact with an infectious rash and bodily fluids, which is why they say, when at all possible, people with monkeypox should handle their own soiled laundry. That C.D.C. report was written by Dr. Mom-who-is-sick-of-this: ‘You’re 23, Jordan! Go to a laundromat!’” —Stephen Colbert

“The reason monkeypox has been upped to emergency status is because it’s spreading faster than the scientists had expected. As of today, New York City alone has logged over 1,000 cases. That is unacceptable. The only disease you should contract in New York is herpes from a subway pole. Welcome to our beautiful city! Touch nothing.” —Stephen Colbert

“Now it’s monkeypox? Why is New York the epicenter again, huh? Haven’t we been through enough? Hurricane Sandy, coronavirus, the Knicks. No, I’m joking, I’m joking — Sandy wasn’t a complete disaster.” —Trevor Noah

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Look, you're going to hell (That's like being MVP of the Knicks)

"Condoleezza Rice, secretary of state, is the most popular member of the Bush administration. Most popular member of the Bush administration? That's like being MVP of the Knicks." --David Letterman

"Osama bin Laden once got a speeding ticket in Pakistan. This guy had no respect for the law! When SEAL Team 6 broke into the house, he said to them, 'Is this about that speeding ticket?'" –David Letterman

"It was so nice down in Washington, D.C. today that President Bush was leaking classified documents in the park." --David Letterman

"Tomorrow the Republicans in the House of Representatives will vote for the 30th time on healthcare. For the 30th time they'll vote it down again. Who says these guys aren't doing stuff, huh?" –David Letterman

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Awwww, did someone lose public trust after decades of selling lies for the ruling class? (only open on the nights that the Knicks win)

June 2022

“The U.S. Supreme Court issued a major ruling on Thursday, striking down a New York State gun law that allowed residents a conceal and carry permit only if they demonstrated a special need. You can see where this is going. This Supreme Court is feeling themselves, huh? Because you realize they finally have all the justices they need to do anything they want. It’s like Amy Coney Barrett was the last infinity stone that they needed. Yeah, they put it in, and now they’re just snapping away at all the laws. It’s like voting rights, gun control, Miranda rights, abortion. I love this song, yeah!” —Trevor Noah

“Yeah, I don’t know about you guys, whenever I’ve been sitting in rush-hour traffic in New York with drivers screaming at each other and bikers cussing out the drivers and pedestrians wailing at the bikers and the drivers, the one thing I always think is, ‘Man, one thing that would calm this down is if everyone had a gun right now. Just a Glock or two would really chill the situation out.’” —Trevor Noah

“So this is obviously a big setback for gun safety. But if you ask me, New York just needs to get creative. Yeah, they need to think outside of the box, the same way that Texas did, right? Look at what Texas did with banning abortion — they weren’t allowed to ban it, so they just made a crazy new law that basically banned it anyway. That’s what New York needs to do with guns. Like, yeah, they should say, ‘OK, anyone can buy a gun if they want, but the gun stores are only open on the nights that the Knicks win.’” —Trevor Noah

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

What America Has Learned Since Covid (There is a sign of the apocalypse)

December 2012

"According to the Mayan calendar, Friday is the end of the world. You know what? There is a sign of the apocalypse. The New York Knicks are in first place." –David Letterman

"Even with the apocalypse there is always something good. There's always a silver lining. For example, The Mayan apocalypse will put an end to those commercials where a crazy lady talks to strangers about her colon." –David Letterman

"I went to see 'Lincoln,' and I think it's a precise historical document. I was flabbergasted to realize that President Lincoln's wife, Mary Todd Lincoln, wore pantsuits." –David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Teachers: Hold My Beer... (pretty close to settling up my bill at Tiffany's)

February 2012

“It was a tough game for the New York Knicks last night. Jeremy Lin went just 1-for-11 in their loss to Miami. Only 1 success out of 11 attempts — or as Newt Gingrich calls that, ‘primary season.’” –Jimmy Fallon

“Rick Santorum now says he's against separation of church and state. But he's not against separation of sweaters and sleeves.” –David Letterman

“A crazy billionaire is going to give Newt Gingrich $100 million. Gingrich is so excited. He said, ‘Wow, now I can come pretty close to settling up my bill at Tiffany's.’” –David Letterman

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”