"According to a poll
in Health Magazine, more Americans said they'd rather have Bill Clinton as
their father than President Bush. Well sure, with Clinton you get away with a
lot more, don't you think? 'Look, I won't mention you coming home late, if you
don't mention me coming home late.'" --Jay Leno
"Since the bombing
began, Israel has tried to make it clear Hezbollah and Syria are to blame for
Lebanon's current nightmare. To that end, Israeli warplanes have dropped
thousands of leaflets on Beirut over the last few days showing a caricature of
Hezbollah chief Hassan Nasrallah as a cobra threatening the Lebanese capital.
And really, what a great idea, because if there's anything that calms the Arab
world down, it's a cartoon." --Jon Stewart
"I don't want to say
President Bush's approval rating is dropping, but I understand there's a sign
outside of Crawford, Texas, that now says, 'Home of Cindy Sheehan.'" --Jay
Leno
